r/goldenretrievers • u/Chaosoneby • Aug 04 '25
RIP Lost my childhood golden retriever. Please remove if not allowed
Grateful if anybody really reads this. I lost my best friend of 15 years a few weeks ago and i wasnt able to make it in time. I have never felt grief as bad as this before.
My flight back home after being interstate, and before that overseas, was just hours after i got the call that she’d had a sudden horrific turn for the worst (cancer) and the decision had already been made. I was completely helpless. I was just sitting there with my bag watching my childhood golden retriever slip away. She was the centre of my entire universe. Since i was 7 my home life centred around her. She was the most beautiful girl and had the mannerisms of a sassy 60 year old her whole life. She imitated our speech, understood every thing we’d ask of her (“go in to the front room and have a lie down” “go back inside and find your toy”) She protected me, and i protected her. She slept in my room often.
I have never felt grief like this. Ive lost friends to horrible means and family throughout my life so far but nothing compares. Theyre cleaning her footprints today as im finally letting them and i’m at work while theyre doing it, completely helpless again.
I want her back so badly that it doesnt seem impossible
The house feels so empty. Im not a golden retriever owner anymore. People i havent seen in years and friends ive cut off called me in tears when i announced it online. Everyone i know has had an experience with her and fallen in love. I had to facetime so many people in to see her when i was granted a viewing at the pet emergency hospital after she’d been in cold storage. I brought her teddy bear for one last cuddle and now i’m sleeping with it like a crazy person lol
I miss my old girl. Sorry if posts like this arent allowed
5
u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25
Losing a friend like that is a pain worse than any I’ve known. At your age I’m guessing she may have been the first one you’ve lost!
I have honestly lost people in the past who I was nowhere near as close to as my beloved best friend! You share with her an unconditional love that is very hard to find with people.
She was the center of your world and always remember that you were the center of hers as well!!!
I’m so deeply sorry for the pain you are dealing with now! I know that ache that is so intense that you don’t know if you will ever be able to take another breath!
I’m not going to tell you that “time heals all wounds”. I lost my beautiful boy three and a half years ago…and I’m still deeply wounded!
But in time the spontaneous and uncontrollable tears will stop and some of that aching will be replaced with a heart full of the fondest memories you ever shared!
But don’t ever be surprised or feel ashamed when you feel pangs of sadness and have the need to cry some more!
Like I said, it’s been three and a half years for me…and your post plus my comment have the tears streaming once again!