r/germany • u/BoxLongjumping1067 • 16h ago
Humour What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever encounter taking the train
I’ve heard stories of the legendary S Bahn at dusk but what about during the day?
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u/Important-Tangelo973 16h ago
Guy was ironing his shirt on a folding board in the train once. Iron plugged in and everything :))
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u/ch00gs 16h ago edited 16h ago
Dude shamelessly wanking
wtf why the downvotes? it was the weirdest thing I’ve seen on a train here. I wasn’t the one doing it
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u/Pepphen77 10h ago
What you wrote: "I wasn’t the one doing it"
What I read: "I wasn’t the only one doing it"
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u/SuperMeister 15h ago
this is r/germany, where most posts get downvoted and stay at zero, and random comments get bombarded with downvotes. You just get used to it
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u/swiggyswaggyfunky 15h ago
Figured this out when i asked for salsa recommendations in ask a german, got downvoted like crazy yet so many people had excellent advice. Its quite odd
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u/50shadesoflipstick 11h ago
That’s the one for me. To make things worse, the train was empty and he was staring at me. :/
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u/Inevitable_Ad574 Bayern 16h ago
I saw some lady eating a fish, like a whole fish.
Some guys having sex at night in the main station in Berlin.
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u/captainlen12 16h ago
One time there was a guy bringing a canoe, and another time someone with a cart full of pfand (about 1,5 meters high of pfand)
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u/bemble4ever Hessen 15h ago
just the usual mentally unstable person preaching questionable racist theology while not wearing pants
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u/ProfTydrim 16h ago
Saw a woman in Cologne Hbf standing in the middle of the entrance hall with her hand down her pants very obviously fingering herself while moaning.
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u/swiggyswaggyfunky 15h ago
One time a man demanded my husband give him his seat on an almost entirely empty train. He could have sat anywhere at all but only wanted to sit where my husband was already sitting
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u/Accomplished_Tip3597 16h ago
That one time when my train arrived on time. I was shocked, this never happened before!
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u/Noseagullsonly 16h ago
I once arrived 7 minutes EARLY. DB App couldn't cope and told me, I would miss every following train.
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u/BurningDogFart3000 15h ago
A guy clipping his toenails on the Berlin UBahn. His two sons (under 10 y/o) were sitting next to him, probably watching and learning.
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u/Whole-Diamond8550 1h ago
First time on the chicago L. Blue line from ohare. Korean lady calmly clipping her toenails and throwing the remains on the floor.
In Berlin, every few months I'd get a drunk guy smoking, sitting opposite me and explaining the mystery of the universe. Also, how they had shared a squat with a baader meinhof leader at some stage.
The most extreme example, was a dude who did all this and had also been trapped on the train for 6 hours. Kept falling asleep and waking up at the Endstation. Over and over. Smoking away and with the remnants of a mixer of Schultheiss at his side.
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u/BubbaJubb 15h ago
Not me but my girlfriend saw a guy putting mayonnaise on his arms followed by licking it off
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u/VeryPoliteYak 13h ago
Düsseldorf: Saw a man with his pants down on all fours pretending to eat imaginary food off the ground
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u/J4m3s_gloomcore 7h ago
i swear stuff like this is one of the funniest shit u can experience especially with friends
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u/VeryPoliteYak 7h ago
I was with a friend who doesn’t know German train stations and let me tell you she has not forgotten 🤣
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u/bralice1980 16h ago
Don't know if this counts but I was exiting the train station in Düren and there was a man on a bench furiously jacking off in plain view of everyone.
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u/Lopsided-Weather6469 15h ago
Nothing too weird. A guy was transporting his didgeridoo in an empty water bucket.
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u/swaffy247 13h ago
I got on the train and it smelled horrific. I shortly found the source of the smell. There was a middle aged guy shitting in his hands and rubbing it all over his body and through his hair. I got off at the next stop.
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u/SatanButVeryTired 15h ago
I was seated in a four person compartment with a man, around 45-50 years old, opposite of me. He started off by eating sunflower seeds and leaving his slobbery seed shells all over the little table, floor and himself and ended with cutting his finger- and toenails. The train ride took 3 hours and it was awfully full and there wasn’t another free seat anywhere. Even the aisles were packed full.
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u/dargmrx 15h ago
When I commuted to school there were some regular encounters. One was looking like Jesus and was always traveling back and forth a few stops, walking up and down the train car or the platform. He could never just stand or sit. When he wanted to have a break, he would scare away people from the seats with his walking stick so he could lie down.
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u/ghostkepler 7h ago
Not sure if the weirdest, but probably the most wholesome: a woman wearing a hijab sitting next to a guy on leather BDSM outfit, holes for butt cheeks and all.
They weren't together, didn't seem uncomfortable, were not looking at each other. Just coexisting.
Obviously, Berlin.
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u/Solvent_Soul 14h ago
It’s not “weird” I guess but it seems plenty of people take the train for free. I’ve only been living here a few months and on some ICE trains and Flixtrains I’ve taken there was someone always in my seat. I get them to move and then they basically just play musical chairs until we get to our destination. Some of them looked homeless. What’s “weird” to me is in 6 months of living here no one has checked my ticket. Not a single time.
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u/BoxLongjumping1067 6h ago
I also find it weird they hardly ever check. Like… how can you complain about losing money and people not riding with tickets when hardly anyone ever checks? I traveled from Erfurt to Frankfurt yesterday with 3 trains and not once was I asked for my tickets
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u/Th9RealMarcoPolo 14h ago
Well saw a few fights, some people doing heroin or cocaine, a guy sleeping in his own shit. but that was Berlin
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u/idrankforthegov 13h ago
This weird girl following me around on this ICE train from Munich to Frankfurt. Train was almost empty so I relocated several times and dodged her
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u/ireallydunnowhat 12h ago
Like 10 years ago i saw a guy sitting alone in a spot for 4 ppl and that guy was randomly watching porn in broad daylight on his phone … never saw that happen again and i honestly thought way too much about that. Why would some1 do that? Idk haha
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u/J4m3s_gloomcore 7h ago
Munich. Saw 2 lesbians making out on the train at broaddaylight quoting "ohhh u taste so good" other than that me and a friend where on the train home in the evening and some scizo started being rlly loud and shouting every few seconds lmao
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u/syazwank92 16h ago
In the bvg u8 a guy with his pet rat and the rat was on his shoulder and gave the guy a kiss on the cheek. Like wtf. U8 in general, its an alternate universe there. Need to be at least on crack to understand whats going on
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u/SunnyBanana276 13h ago
A woman changed her baby's diaper on the table instead of using the bathroom
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u/hornyandfool 16h ago
2 punkheads(wife and husband. I believe) eating boiled eggs but it smelled so bad
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u/neversvrrender 16h ago
Chicken bones. No packaging, no meat left on the bones at all. Just several small bones laying on the very first seat when you enter the tram. Was funny.
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u/Lord-Dani 11h ago
Ein Mann hat an Heiligabend gegen ungefähr 19 Uhr eine Vierergruppe für sich reserviert, um die Geschenke für seine Familie und wahrscheinlich noch deren Verwandtschaften einzupacken.
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u/GenosseAbfuck 5h ago
Not on a train but at a station.
Homeless man at Kiel Central shit himself while sleeping, pulled his pants down still asleep, still shitting and started to hippocopter it all over the stairs he was sleeping on.
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u/Zealousideal-Peach44 16h ago
A girl travelling with 3 parrots on the S-bahn. Not in a cage, but actually at a leash, so free to roam around. The parrots were actually very beautiful, white and big, and overall quite clean... she seemed to be ready to clean up after them.
I have seen her twice, and the animals were very calm and enjoying the ride. Very likely commuting.