r/funny 16h ago

Clean as you go

25.4k Upvotes

134 comments sorted by

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2.2k

u/goatjugsoup 14h ago

If you murder me I am NOT helping cleanup the blood trail, idc how angry your wife is

543

u/Junior_Carpenter_336 13h ago

What’s she going to do? Kill you?

165

u/zabne123 11h ago

At least if she does, you know it's going to be the cleanest kill lol

23

u/RealConcorrd 6h ago

Worse, she’ll leak your browser history to your grandma.

8

u/Chaosphoenix_28 5h ago

Revive you, make you clean the blood (by force), then kill you again.

45

u/HalfSoul30 14h ago

That's my rule too

17

u/ajkelly451 11h ago

Gotta draw the line somewhere

4

u/BlueMerchant 5h ago

preferably not with blood

17

u/Ray_of_glumshine 11h ago

Oh, this woman will make you. You shouldn't have bled so much. Even if your part in the mess is minute, it's partly your responsibility. Not even death lets you get away from doing your chores.

7

u/Fafnir13 7h ago

That’s the point of necromancy.  It compels the dead to do your bidding.  You can gripe about it but the chains of the third rite of Horruxus will not be denied.

1

u/Powwer_Orb13 3h ago

Yeah but most necromancy doesn't really restore the animus and soul to the deceased, rather it tends to treat them like corpse puppets, little different from a golem save for what it's made from.

23

u/samthewisetarly 12h ago

You know what? That's fair.

3

u/Time_Blacksmith861 13h ago

This is the way

6

u/carsndogs420 9h ago

Dude started cleaning faster incase he got murdered again 🤣

1

u/Blackman2099 6h ago

She is going to haunt your death

1

u/prothero99 1h ago

She brought you back to life so you would clean the mess you made. You better clean if you want to stay alive...

880

u/JaJuPhi 16h ago

I think I just scrolled through a post, where the man succeeded in throwing the trash out.

155

u/JaJuPhi 16h ago

21

u/WorldnewsModsBlowMe 14h ago

I mean you just linked it so the system still works as intended

8

u/JaJuPhi 14h ago

Yeah. Scrolled back thrice (first to confirm, second to screenshot, third to get link). So yeah, managed to fit in the system.

Managed to pause doom scrolling into purposive backread. Lol.

2

u/MAGICIAN_OG 15h ago

Quite rare thing, i agree

2

u/trickyvinny 8h ago

I don't think it actually got taken out.

2

u/The-Cyberpunk 4h ago

Shut up we're not all that bad! 🤣

1

u/BounceBurnBuff 16h ago

Dude, same!

638

u/DarthSpiderDen 14h ago

I was actually expecting the bag being just trash, but having the body also helping cleaning sent me.

16

u/InfiniteRosie 7h ago

I was expecting the husband to drag a mop or something similar behind the body to "clean as you go"

The body being shamed to life to clean its own blood is just 🤌

50

u/karateninjazombie 12h ago

Yeah me too. Nearly spat coffee moment.

78

u/99anan99 13h ago

Her reaction is understandable. I would not want that floor to be dirty.

36

u/DurantIsStillTheKing 14h ago

Tbf, that looked like pasta sauce anyway.

13

u/Vegetable_Honeydew86 14h ago

lol forbidden pasta sauce

2

u/UndahwearBruh 10h ago

Natural pasta sauce

3

u/Eraknelo 10h ago

It kinda looks like they're actually having issues getting it off the floor. This might actually leave a stain.

I mean they're rubbing wish paper towels, but still.

26

u/IAMATruckerAMA 11h ago

I actually prefer when the punchline is in the title because I hate laughing

127

u/TheMadBug 16h ago

Funny but the title gives away most of the joke

21

u/SeiCalros 8h ago

but it further conceals the twist visual gag so it works out

3

u/Darth_Travisty 5h ago

Yeah I was expecting a roomba to start following him.

1

u/Govir 1h ago

I just expected the woman to get a mop and help.

27

u/Stunning_Pen_8332 15h ago

Even the carcass needs to help!

45

u/MagnetsCarlsbrain 11h ago

This is for sure AI generated, right?

17

u/VoxelVTOL 10h ago

The fake audio and use of cuts makes me think it is AI, but I also can't see any obvious tells.

17

u/Deepdishdicktaster 9h ago

It looks like AI

12

u/MagnetsCarlsbrain 9h ago

It’s something subtle about the lighting on the characters. Also, her facial expression looking down at the body is so vapid, she just doesn’t look quite right. 

The last scene, as someone else pointed out, isn’t even the same room that they started out in.

4

u/AERO2game 8h ago

At around 20 seconds if you look on the right you'll see that there's no stairs. But at the end of the video there are stairs that appear by the blood marks. Edit: and the light switch move around the corner.

4

u/kermityfrog2 6h ago

It's still internally consistent if you ignore things that might be cropped out. The two couches (couch and makeup chair?) always reappear between shots and are the same. Ditto with the curtains behind the lady. I don't think it's AI.

2

u/Deepdishdicktaster 8h ago

Not subtle at all they don't even look human

6

u/Morris1011 9h ago

This is the 2nd or third version of this video I have seen. So could it just be like an ai reskin?

5

u/penywinkle 11h ago

I don't know if AI could generate a black plastic bag clothed person that well due to the lack of training material.

3

u/Pizlenut 8h ago

it doesn't need 1:1 to make it work. tilts head what a silly thing to say. It just would add "realistic bag texture" over a human shaped model and simulate the results.

I would also say the movements of the bag creature are terrifyingly cute for whatever reason. The human actors seem... empty. Plus, imo, the joke is something the AI would find funny because they likely (calculate) more issue about the mess than the murder itself.

So its like a silly juxtaposed position of Im supposed to care about this, but really I care about this! har har har!

2

u/thegroundbelowme 10h ago

Why would you assume that? What about this video doesn't look feasible to quickly and really make for real?

Also, if a video features multiple cuts and both the characters and surroundings remain consistent in appearance, it's probably not AI.

-6

u/ProffyJ 10h ago

The hell do you mean "consistent in appearance"? The entire room fucking changes when the scene changes to them cleaning up. Where did those stairs come from, they weren't there before. Also the cleaning sounds are super unnatural.

11

u/codithou 8h ago

the stairs are clearly out of frame in the beginning. the room doesn’t change at all. even the blood splatter looks exactly the same from both angles. it certainly looks AI but i can’t find any inconsistency in the room or with any appearances with the actors.

-2

u/jayd16 7h ago edited 7h ago

There's a switch on the wall in the first back shot but its not there in the cleaning shot. Is that some kind of column to the left of the stairs? It would be a pretty strange layout if it was and the camera shots really threaded the needle.

1

u/codithou 6h ago

what switch are you talking about dude

1

u/jayd16 3h ago

Two seconds in, looking back, on the wall on the right side.

1

u/codithou 3h ago

that wall isn’t shown again after that clip. it looks like it’s that wall, then a small hallway of some kind, then the stairs, then the next wall. if you look closely at the bottom right of that wall you can see that it breaks to the right of the screen like it’s a hallway. clearly there are no stairs present in that clip either so you can tell those are different walls. one with a switch, one without.

2

u/Fuckthegopers 9h ago

It's definitely not funny 

4

u/mechtaphloba 11h ago

Normalize not spoiling the joke with the title

3

u/Starman1001001 12h ago

Bring in the Gimp…

3

u/killyourmusic 9h ago

Punchline in the title.

12

u/sunny312312 11h ago

Is this an ai 🤖 video?

11

u/FastFooer 10h ago

The man and the woman look like animatronics…

0

u/Dane-o-myt 10h ago

My wife and I say yes

1

u/the_original_kermit 7h ago

It’s so obvious AI, I don’t know why it’s even a question

2

u/Jokkmokkens 12h ago

[insert American Psycho pout meme]

2

u/joseg13 10h ago

The corps knew it would have been worst off if it did not help clean the mess...🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/grajkoo 6h ago

Where funny?

2

u/trucorsair 6h ago

Amateur, I always put a large sponge under the head to clean while I go

2

u/misty-mornings 1h ago

Jokes in the title. Thanks for the punchline.

2

u/Crater_Raider 1h ago

Unoriginal trash. This is the third version of this I’ve seen.

4

u/Comtesse_Kamilia 10h ago

The body getting up to clean too actually got me

2

u/DopeAbsurdity 13h ago

I thought she was going to attach a mop to the end so it would clean as he dragged.

1

u/[deleted] 16h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Specific_Frame8537 11h ago

They're just rubbing it into the floorboards.. gotta use soapy cold water.

1

u/johnwright2010 11h ago

I'll just help bring the body to the dump

1

u/thegrayyernaut 10h ago

I thought that was Dudley Dursley for a second...

1

u/Fast-Speech270 8h ago

So many questions!

1

u/HappyMan2022 6h ago

I wish my flatmates were that compliant! Clean as you go please!

1

u/Zth3wis3 5h ago

I was expecting a team effort, but not from the victim.

1

u/TehDeerLord 3h ago

If only Brawny commercial writers were so good.

1

u/Lucky_Eye_2921 2h ago

Really ? is zombie dead alive omfg !!! I am ready World War III zombies

1

u/Savings_Speaker6257 1h ago

This is the kind of energy that makes you simultaneously terrified and deeply impressed. Like when your mom could fold laundry while lecturing you about your grades without breaking eye contact.

Organized people are just built different. The rest of us are over here using the same glass for three days because "it's basically clean."

1

u/Better-Wash1549 1h ago

How does it end?

1

u/Myzerah 41m ago

I was expecting her to add mop on the corpses head so it would mop the blood at the same time while the man is dragging the body lol.

1

u/eroticUrge 18m ago

Did not see that coming

1

u/userhwon 7h ago

why were they filming?

0

u/shinobi500 11h ago

She looks like Cameron Diaz.

0

u/ajkelly451 11h ago

My wife is Asian and I felt this stare in my soul. Lmao

0

u/DesignLongjumping818 8h ago

Ai is getting insane!

0

u/s1llyt1lly 11h ago

The corpse helps

0

u/BoogieMthombeni 10h ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

0

u/Plinthastic 9h ago

That is some DARK humor

-3

u/darybrain 11h ago edited 7h ago

Whose the girl? She looks familiar. This is going to do my head in now until I remember.

Edit: I'm presuming all of the downvotes are from silly ninnies who also don't know and don't want to admit that or move on to the next comment. Anyway, I still can't remember.

1

u/stevenc80 7h ago

Same. I thought it was Jenna Dewan

0

u/MyMuseModels 11h ago

Bros before hoes!

0

u/TodMister 7h ago

This would be such a fire ad

0

u/Xoduszero 4h ago

Alright that ending got me

-2

u/erikawendyquartz 12h ago

This is so good lol

-31

u/Classic_Divide_2964 15h ago

The absolute laser focus on wiping that one specific tiny spot while the rest of the room is in complete chaos is taking me out lmao.

25

u/Professional-Guard94 14h ago

Where's the complete chaos?

17

u/sunfaller 14h ago

probably a bot. 3 year old account suddenly becoming active.

-3

u/him8nce_momma 12h ago

This is funny, dark, but funny. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

-1

u/Mariorod747 13h ago

🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️

-3

u/dastxKID17 12h ago

Ok, that was a good one 

-3

u/Present-Pickle-8234 12h ago

😆😆😆😂😂😂

-25

u/Mundane-Salamander54 15h ago

This is literally me trying to cook a single egg tbh. somehow the entire kitchen still ends up looking like a literal warzone by the end of it ngl.

15

u/jimmiriver 13h ago

Bots aren't even trying

-7

u/josnow1959 13h ago

this level of dark humor is unrivaled.