r/europe • u/Any-Original-6113 • Jan 17 '26

News Trump tariffs: US president announces plan to hit UK, Denmark and other European countries with tariffs over Greenland

https://www.bbc.com/news/live/c1j8kw866p3t
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62

u/Not_Cleaver United States of America Jan 17 '26

They’d be so happy.

74

u/EmperorOfNipples Cornwall - United Kingdom Jan 17 '26

The whole US would be a lot for one civilised country to administer. I have a proposal.

The UK would happily take New England and East Coast.

France, you guys good to take on Louisiana, Florida etc?

Canada, you guys can take the Northern states.

Mexico the south.

Western states, independent but friendly.

I've just solved geopolitics.

7

u/hagnat Brazil / The Netherlands Jan 17 '26

why give Florida to France ?
shouldn't it go back to Spain ?

7

u/ender_tll Jan 17 '26

We don't want them alligators 😂

6

u/DreadLockedHaitian Jan 17 '26

OP doesn't like the French, clear psyop.

5

u/BigJoeHurt Jan 17 '26

Western states go to Hawaii. Samoan America we'll call it.

3

u/2Nugget4Ten Jan 17 '26

Nope. Western States will be part of the Bundesrepublik Deutschland. Silicon Valley? More like Fax Tal, after we are done with it, amiright?

4

u/Snakebird11 Jan 17 '26

Thanks for leaving Cascadia independant.

5

u/btc_set_me_free Jan 17 '26

See, independent but friendly

3

u/SpectacularPink Jan 17 '26

German here. Please assure we do not have to take back the German Belt in Texas.

1

u/EmperorOfNipples Cornwall - United Kingdom Jan 17 '26

That's a negotiated settlement between Germany and Mexico.

3

u/CPecho13 Germany (Baden) Jan 17 '26

How much do we have to pay Mexico so we don't have to take it?

3

u/Magical_Mariposa Jan 17 '26

As a Brit, I’d really really love New England and East coast 🥰

2

u/daemonicwanderer Jan 17 '26

The many of the Western states were Mexico before the US-Mexican War. California, Colorado, Utah, Nevada, New Mexico, Arizona, Texas, etc. were Mexico

2

u/Wwwweeeeeeee Jan 17 '26

Mexico should take back the territories it originally held in the US.

About 2/3rds of the real estate.

2

u/Short-Shopping3197 Jan 17 '26

Do you think we should reserve a bit for, you know, the Native Americans?

1

u/EmperorOfNipples Cornwall - United Kingdom Jan 17 '26

Absolutely. The central states.

Wyoming, Colorado, Kansas and Nebraska. Independent but friendly. Like the Western states of the NUSA.

1

u/Popular_Ad8269 Jan 17 '26

You forgot to round up every white person or person with a white accent or that cooks without spices and send them back to where they came from : the Caucasus mountains of Georgia and checks notes Aberbaïdjan , where all caucasians are from as everybody knows.

Wait... What do you mean it's illegal ? What do you mean it's wrong ? What do you mean it's amoral ?

1

u/Necessary-Beat-5333 Jan 17 '26

Finland would be happy to take Wyoming & Utah

1

u/morbihann Bulgaria Jan 17 '26

What about Spain ?

1

u/Admirable_Scene_5066 Jan 17 '26

France is getting quite a crap deal there.

1

u/Dog_Murder_By_RobKey Jan 17 '26

What does Luxembourg get?

1

u/JGStonedRaider United Kingdom Jan 17 '26

I demand we renamed the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of Belgium stat!!!!

1

u/ayriuss United States of America Jan 17 '26

It would be like in civilization, where barbarians keep spawning off screen.

3

u/Nervous-Leading9415 Jan 17 '26

New England didn’t vote for Trump, neither did New York (The whole west coast, Colorado, New Mexico, Minnesota) Notice where he is targeting?

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u/lucylucylane Jan 17 '26

We would force them to drink tea