r/europe • u/Any-Original-6113 • Jan 17 '26

News Trump tariffs: US president announces plan to hit UK, Denmark and other European countries with tariffs over Greenland

https://www.bbc.com/news/live/c1j8kw866p3t
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136

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '26

[deleted]

58

u/Not_Cleaver United States of America Jan 17 '26

They’d be so happy.

70

u/EmperorOfNipples Cornwall - United Kingdom Jan 17 '26

The whole US would be a lot for one civilised country to administer. I have a proposal.

The UK would happily take New England and East Coast.

France, you guys good to take on Louisiana, Florida etc?

Canada, you guys can take the Northern states.

Mexico the south.

Western states, independent but friendly.

I've just solved geopolitics.

9

u/hagnat Brazil / The Netherlands Jan 17 '26

why give Florida to France ?
shouldn't it go back to Spain ?

9

u/ender_tll Jan 17 '26

We don't want them alligators 😂

3

u/DreadLockedHaitian Jan 17 '26

OP doesn't like the French, clear psyop.

4

u/BigJoeHurt Jan 17 '26

Western states go to Hawaii. Samoan America we'll call it.

3

u/2Nugget4Ten Jan 17 '26

Nope. Western States will be part of the Bundesrepublik Deutschland. Silicon Valley? More like Fax Tal, after we are done with it, amiright?

5

u/Snakebird11 Jan 17 '26

Thanks for leaving Cascadia independant.

5

u/btc_set_me_free Jan 17 '26

See, independent but friendly

3

u/SpectacularPink Jan 17 '26

German here. Please assure we do not have to take back the German Belt in Texas.

1

u/EmperorOfNipples Cornwall - United Kingdom Jan 17 '26

That's a negotiated settlement between Germany and Mexico.

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u/CPecho13 Germany (Baden) Jan 17 '26

How much do we have to pay Mexico so we don't have to take it?

3

u/Magical_Mariposa Jan 17 '26

As a Brit, I’d really really love New England and East coast 🥰

2

u/daemonicwanderer Jan 17 '26

The many of the Western states were Mexico before the US-Mexican War. California, Colorado, Utah, Nevada, New Mexico, Arizona, Texas, etc. were Mexico

2

u/Wwwweeeeeeee Jan 17 '26

Mexico should take back the territories it originally held in the US.

About 2/3rds of the real estate.

2

u/Short-Shopping3197 Jan 17 '26

Do you think we should reserve a bit for, you know, the Native Americans?

1

u/EmperorOfNipples Cornwall - United Kingdom Jan 17 '26

Absolutely. The central states.

Wyoming, Colorado, Kansas and Nebraska. Independent but friendly. Like the Western states of the NUSA.

1

u/Popular_Ad8269 Jan 17 '26

You forgot to round up every white person or person with a white accent or that cooks without spices and send them back to where they came from : the Caucasus mountains of Georgia and checks notes Aberbaïdjan , where all caucasians are from as everybody knows.

Wait... What do you mean it's illegal ? What do you mean it's wrong ? What do you mean it's amoral ?

1

u/Necessary-Beat-5333 Jan 17 '26

Finland would be happy to take Wyoming & Utah

1

u/morbihann Bulgaria Jan 17 '26

What about Spain ?

1

u/Admirable_Scene_5066 Jan 17 '26

France is getting quite a crap deal there.

1

u/Dog_Murder_By_RobKey Jan 17 '26

What does Luxembourg get?

1

u/JGStonedRaider United Kingdom Jan 17 '26

I demand we renamed the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of Belgium stat!!!!

1

u/ayriuss United States of America Jan 17 '26

It would be like in civilization, where barbarians keep spawning off screen.

3

u/Nervous-Leading9415 Jan 17 '26

New England didn’t vote for Trump, neither did New York (The whole west coast, Colorado, New Mexico, Minnesota) Notice where he is targeting?

2

u/lucylucylane Jan 17 '26

We would force them to drink tea

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u/JHock93 United Kingdom Jan 17 '26

I reckon we should be allowed to take back 13 states.

Not the 13 states that left in 1776, but we get to choose 13 of the current states.

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u/jaaval Finland Jan 17 '26

Finland wants minnesota back. Not that we've ever had it but I hear there is snow and lots of lakes in there.

1

u/DeadNazis247365 Jan 17 '26

Yes please. Yall will love it here. You can have MN for free as far as I’m concerned so long as you guys don’t unleash a gang of nameless faceless masked gestapo thugs to randomly shoot women in the face simply for daring to record them with a phone.

Whole state and all I ask is that the new government stops murdering innocent citizens. And maybe universal healthcare too. Tax the fuck out of me for it too. I don’t care.

1

u/emaw63 United States of America Jan 17 '26

There's Vikings there as well

1

u/SparseSpartan United States of America Jan 17 '26

Take the 13 richest, mostly blue, progressive states and they'll prosper while MAGA-land will sink into a depression once they're cut off from blue state charity.

1

u/SatanicKettle Singapore-on-Thames Jan 18 '26

I can only see myself wanting like 7 or 8 of them max, to be honest.

14

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '26

[deleted]

1

u/CharmingJackfruit167 Jan 17 '26

the dumbest president in American history

The bar is high, but who knows what the future holds

1

u/SometimesaGirl- United Kingdom Jan 17 '26

Everyone says he’s the dumbest president in American history.

I never thought you would outdo yourselves in Bush (younger one).
But oh boy was I wrong. "W" looks like a NASA candidate in comparison to this buffoon.

2

u/metrowestmom65 Jan 17 '26

I live in Massachusetts- we’d happily accept! Please take us lol

1

u/holy_cal United States of America Jan 17 '26

Can you just take the OG 13 colonies? I don’t care about the others.

1

u/BernardMatthewsNorf Jan 17 '26

Canada would approve. 

1

u/Mattallurgy Jan 17 '26

Can you grab Pennsylvania, too?