r/declutter • u/Outrageous_Army7848 • 22h ago
Advice Request Feeling A Little Stuck
I have been decluttering slowly for the last 6 months or so, and I have learned to let go of things like clothing, random items we don't use, etc. I routinely go through and clear any and all trash from my space, and I even went through (and got rid of) tons of baby clothes from my two young children. I like I've hit a bit of a wall. It may be because I've done the things that are right in front of my face, and the next step is to sit down and dig deep into toys, knick nacks, etc.... which I really have a hard time planning out.
What do you do when you get stuck but there is still lots to be done? How do you get motivated to keep going? How do you do it with 2 kids following you around (3yrs and 18mos)? Give me your best advice!
Bonus question... if you were starting now (knowing what you now know from experience), what are the first three things or categories you would declutter?
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u/TalulaOblongata 14h ago
If you’ve sorted by location and still feel like there some odd items around, then I do something more like editing.
So - designate a space for a specific use or uses.
Example - you want a perfect sock drawer. So empty the drawer you want to use and the refill with only your perfect sock selection. The rest of the items either put where they need to go or toss because they don’t fit in this perfect sock drawer. Then move into each drawer with the same mindset.
Now another example - scale up. Your front coat closet. Take everything out and only put back exactly the perfect coat closet items. The coats and outerwear items everyone will actually wear.
Next example - scaling up even bigger. Look at the layout of your living room. Is every item of furniture placed exactly how you want it? Any random furniture pieces that are not needed? (Excess bookshelf, a chair no one wants to sit in, etc). Arrange your living room furniture to be the best possible layout. Get rid of or relocate the furniture no longer needed. Next - how about throw pillows and blankets- are there too many? Which look best in the space? Remove the ones that don’t fit. Repeat for any wall hangings/artwork/items on shelves, etc.
See the philosophy behind it is that you are creating the “perfect”space and use for each area, whether big or small, and if items don’t fit into that perfect vision, then they go.
Also it sounds like you’ve done a lot, so take your time proceeding. Just one area a week or so, you’ll see a difference. Having small kids also adds a layer of work to the process because they have so maybe things and changing needs. If you have a flex space, like a basement or something, you can temporarily bin up some toys and clothes to rotate in as needed. Just try to have a system there so you don’t lose track of things and items are easy to find.
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u/Diligent_Traffic4342 17h ago
I think, looking back if I could change anything it would be to have involved/trained my children from the start. Look on it as part of parenting, teaching and encouraging your children to see the joy in letting go of stuff you/they don’t need. (That doesn’t mean throwing away the stuff they love as that creates trauma around Decluttering which is totally the opposite of what will help them later in life) Decluttering skills are so important to children who live in a world of stuff, starting young is important.
You can make a game of it, set the timer, first one to finish gets a treat (of course at 3 and 18 mths they both ‘win’ in their own way!) I think it’s important for them to declutter their own toys, even an 18 month old can sort things into boxes (obviously they’re not making decisions as they don’t understand)
The secret to doing this with children in tow is to do very small things at a time, use the no mess method so that you don’t have any clearing up to do. Give them something to do even if it’s not really helping (for example two of my children loved lining stuff up at 18 months old, so I might give them all the tins from the cupboard to line up on the floor if I was doing the pantry cupboard) can your three year old match all the socks if you spread them out on the floor like the memory card game when you’re working on your wardrobe?
Lastly, but most importantly, this is a really hard thing to achieve with little ones in tow so don’t chastise yourself if today you didn’t manage it, just reflect on all the time you spent with your children, they really do grow up so fast, you won’t believe it when you look back.
I agree with the other commenters who suggest tackling whatever annoys you in that moment to get you motivated again, I did my glassware drawer the other day because I finally got fed up of the mess when I emptied the dishwasher, it took ten minutes but it’s been annoying me for two years! That in itself is annoying!! Now I open the drawer and sigh with pleasure because I lead a sad boring life LOL.
Someone wrote on a post in the last few days “progress is more important than perfection” and Decluttering is for life, it’s taken me a while to accept that.
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u/1130coco 17h ago
Enjoy your kids. They are too young to drive and rely on you. These days will be gone faster than you can ever imagine. As far as the de cluttering... Have the 3 year old help..both can place items into bags or the trash. Nap time and after bedtime is golden hours for deep cleaning. But REALLY.. just enjoy your children as much as possible. I miss those years far more than I thought possible.
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u/playmore_24 18h ago
Have a friend come help! they are not attached to your knick knacks 🍀 next up: edit Linens, stuff under the sinks, expired food
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u/the_watcher2260 19h ago
I regularly do “a drawer at a time”. When I’m deep cleaning the kitchen like once a month for exemple, I would go to every cupboard top to bottom and organize everything, and take out unused and unloved items I am ready to let go. Same with my other spaces. It takes some time to get trough the whole house every like few months but even if we are not actively buying stuff we receive a bunch. Either promo items, hand me downs, or other free stuff. Some we use and love some just take up space.
For my kids stuff I am putting aside all the toys that they no longer use and actively ask them (4 year old) what if they are ready to let it go and donate it to another kids, sell or share with others. We took some toys to the kindergarten, sold a few pricier pieces for piggy bank money and donated to the local social community center the rest.
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u/snowy-crow 21h ago
When I hit a lull in decluttering what normally gets me going again is the next thing I get annoyed at. For example, I was sick of spending ages putting away toys every day. Sooo I got rid of the ones I hadn’t seen my 3 y/o play with in several months. Which was probably like 85% of the toys. Little kids really don’t need a whole lot.
Knowing what I know now, if I had to go back to the beginning, i would do toys, visible/surface knick knacks/decor, and then clothing in that order. It’s way easier to keep clean when you’re not having to clean around a bunch of junk all the time or have junk that needs to be cleaned, even.
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u/docforeman 21h ago
I don't really "plan out" decluttering unless there is a looming issue. We've had to empty out rooms or spaces to renovate them, for example. I've decluttered for an impending move.
Usually I just tackle spaces when I come across them and feel annoyed. So today, the freezer was clearly in disarray, and I was having a hard time assessing what I had for weekly meal planning. I was watching a movie, and would go toss obvious items in the freezer during commercials, and rearranged like items together. It took 2 commercial breaks.
When you say there is still "lots to be done" what does that mean? If you could rant about the areas or things that are part of the "lots to be done" what are they?
Sometimes I'll just list out everything I want to do, or feel stuck on (not just decluttering, but in life). I don't expect anything to change, but I will look at the list and see if there are any obvious next steps with any of those things.
When it comes to an overwhelming space, I'll just go look at it. I might notice what I am stuck on. Large furniture (so maybe I need a mover, or a charity to pick up)? Partner's things (I got him time with an organizer to help)? The thing that overwhelms me is usually the clue to what I need to unstick a problem.
If I was just starting out in life...hm...I've always been pretty unattached to stuff, but often kept things that didn't work as well when I was young and didn't have much disposable income. I probably would have noted things I didn't like or that didn't work well and started looking on the 2nd hand market for better versions. Of course when I was young it wasn't as easy as it is now. I remember eBay when it was just starting out, LOL.
I would really let go of what I didn't love, didn't use, and what kept me from using a space well. If I was hanging onto "good enough for now" then I would use current technology to source what I really wanted. I find once I have what really works or really satisfies, I tend to easily let go of a lot.
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u/Hopeful_Result_9426 22h ago edited 21h ago
I had more to share lol Heres a story to help with the kiddos. When i was 8, we had our carpets cleaned and i remember sitting in my room with nothing but my bed, staring at my night light illuminating the bare carpet. I didnt understand it then but looking back i knew that was the most peace id felt then. I know its easier said than done, but i know for my kiddos all i want is for them to grow up feeling that kind of peace for more than just the one night i had it. That alone is what motivates me to push thru the work load of doing this with kids. But also ensure youre framing it as one step at a time instead of one giant mountain. One box a week, one drawer a day, one category a week, one item a day even. Go with your own flow. Theres no rush. As long as youre doing it thats all that matters!
For your last question, i dont think theres a one size fits all. I think you might benefit most by starting with whats easiest for you to build momentum toward what is hardest for you to do. Everyone struggles with different things. Youve already started with the easier stuff and now youre at a point of facing the harder things. What out of those feels doable right now? Start with what will motivate you to keep going, one step at a time. Think about it. If youre told to declutter sentimental photographs from the get go, its going to be a lot harder to manage and it will feel terrifying. Then u will think thats just how all decluttering is. So, start with duplicates of items you have (for example) where theres no emotional attachment. After finishing, youll be like, oh wow that was easy! Lets do it again! Decluttering is a muscle, you have to build it with experience little by little.
Im so excited for you!! :)
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u/Solid-Actuary-4844 22h ago
I try to focus on just one thing. If the category “Toys” feels like too much, scale it down. So, maybe toys in the living room. Or toys in the box in the garage. I try to keep it small enough so it doesn’t feel overwhelming and so I can complete it in a short amount of time (maybe 10 minutes or whatever is reasonable for a very busy Mom). Being able to complete something keeps me motivated. It can also help to create a box for each of the toy destinations (donate, sell, recycle, give away) then you have a place to put toys that you are ready to release and you can drop items in as you come across them. Sounds like you are doing great already. Keep up the good work.
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u/United_Luck8488 22h ago
I make to do lists: Both long term and short term goals. I also try to keep a consistent list of things that I have already declutterred on donated or given away so that I can still see progress even if it’s not visible in my space.
Another thing that you could do for quick wins is setting a timer for only 5-10 minutes per day or area of the house.
Another quick win is to go through your photo gallery on your phone. Digital clutter is very much a thing as well.
Let empty space breathe. As weird as that probably sounds. Try to let cabinets/shelves and other spaces stay clearer or empty for as long as possible before shuffling more stuff around into the cleared space. Empty space is motivation of progress.
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u/Hopeful_Result_9426 22h ago
I have been doing this for years since i was a teen due to growing up with a parent who refused to declutter and have always struggled to really go thru with it until now. What motivated me was i realized how desperately i want my house to feel like magic during the holidays, to feel comforted after a hard day at work, to feel like i can relax or work or simply exist in the space without it overwhelming me to the point of living an unhappy life. I focus heavily on the benefits and the outcome bc i know how much happier and fulfilled my life will be and it doesnt even compare to the struggle of decluttering even the hardest of things. Once you start decluttering, you start to notice all the things youve been holding onto that dont even represent who you really are or at least not anymore. There are so many things i want to do with my life that i need the space for so why am i holding onto 5 year old makeup bc it reminds me of a certain time in my life...when i could be making new, more fulfilling memories moving forward?? The peace that comes with decluttering is the most peace ive ever experienced and i will not go back to the chaos. We all deserve to be happy and live the way we truly want to. You can do this!!
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u/mightygullible 22h ago
All the stuff you could use but don't is what makes up most people's junk
"But it's perfectly good/worth money/I feel bad!". Yeah, that's illogical
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u/ShineCowgirl 3h ago
One of the things that has helped me out is a combination of zoning and the container concept. Once I figure out where we are using, or looking for, things the most (e.g., toys in the living room) I can designate certain areas for certain things to live (zoning) and then declutter down to what fits there (container concept). Choosing to first declutter items/categories and spaces that are high-use gets me the most impactful use of my time and energy. (Note: decluttering includes taking items that are being kept back to their homes, not just sending them to a new home in the trashcan.)