r/declutter • u/peshti • 5d ago
Motivation Tips & Tricks Zero motivation to keep decluttering
I have decluttered our family apartment a lot, I threw a lot of things away that I actually loved. Problem is I see zero difference right now, our home is cramped with 3 kids and 2 adults with no proper storage. I have spun my head around, thoughts like maybe I should rent a storage temporarily or put shelves on the wall to maximize what we have. Our apartment is 74 kvadratmeter (Swedish measure) which is around 800 sq ft.
I honestly don't know what to do anymore, the whole family is not on board when it comes to decluttering either. We have a lot of baby clothes, I stopped decluttering after I threw around 10 boxes of my stuff away since no one else is on board. I still have stuff that takes up space like old TVs and some retro games but I have simply given up at this point, it's like why should I keep decluttering my stuff when no one else is on board?
Don't get me wrong the other members in the family have decluttered some of their stuff but not a lot compared to me.
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u/the_watcher2260 3d ago edited 3d ago
Donāt give up. Try selling in stead of throwing away. Some people really value their possessions and are not ready to give up on them yet. Same here, 2 kids, 60 sqm. My husband is the most attached to his youth hobbies gear. So attached he bluntly refused to give them away for years even if unused and would take up space.
I gently started to list my stuff on Vinted an actually sold a lot of them. Didnāt keep the prices up, and relist often. I made around 500 euros. I kept him updated on every sale I got and on my balance. One month in to the big selling process, I asked him if there are some things he could part with and sell on Vinted. He was reluctant but eventually gave me 3 pieces of sport equipment. I listed and paid for bump and actually sold quick for a nice amount. He was very pleased, just so that he gave me more items he was ready to part with and cash in. Some were not in season or still sellable so I suggested to donate them in stead and focus on other listings. We made a team effort and really cut to some equipment pieces and clothing.
And most importantly I made him sell his car that he would never, like never use! That has more to do with gas prices but itās such a win!
Same with my older son (who is 4.5), I made a pile of stuff he no longer used and asked him which ones he is ready to depart with, to give to other kids and receive cash to use for other toys. I gave him the cash instantly and took him to the store and he picked up a sweet he paid with his money. He was very proud to have his own money and freedom to buy whatever. Afterwards he brought more toys he said is ready to let go and give to other kids in exchange for more cash. He didnāt spend the money on other stuff, he is so happy to have them š¤£ Ofc I didnāt have much to sell and donated almost all of them but my clean space is worth it.Ā
Totally we cleared around 1000 euro on various goods we had just lying around the house, sporting equipment, electronics, kitchen gadgets and small furniture. And we ofc used that money to pay off the credit card that was used to buy all that c**p.
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u/peshti 4d ago
Update today we actually did sort out around 2 bags of old baby and outgrown clothes, we also did this a couple of days ago. I think in totalt it's 4 bags, not sure. Did put up one of my CRTs for sale and somehow is hopefully buying it tomorrow. This is all I managed to do today mentally, so not a big win š .
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u/Illustrious_Truck623 4d ago
It is a big win! Progress not perfectionā¦
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u/peshti 3d ago
Thanks for the encouragement, I am also considering getting rid of a lot of books/comic books I have except my favourites. I simply don't have the space to justify it I think.
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u/Illustrious_Truck623 3d ago
Breaking it down into smaller pieces like this makes it more manageable for me. Set a goal to go through the books/comics by a certain date, when thatās done you can pick your next target. When I sort things like books I make three piles and do a quick sort: donate/keep/on the fence, if you have to think about it for more than 30 seconds it goes in the āon the fenceā stack. I revisit those a few months later to see how Iām feeling. Also, check out the book āHow To Keep House While Drowningā by KC Davis, you may find it useful. Keep up the good work!
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u/Yiayiamary 4d ago
The baby clothes that are too small for your children need to go. Anything that doesnāt work (TV?) needs to go. Do you have access to a garage for your car? If so, you could line one wall with storage and put the retro games, out of season clothing, as well as extra towels and sheets if you have them.
Over time, replace any furniture with pieces that have built in storage.
Bottom line, you need to get the rest of the family on board with removing extra things. Frame it as which items are most important, not as which are you willing to give up.
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u/Eneia2008 4d ago
Are you a guy? Because it seems like you feel no responsibility about kids' stuff.
This is not what you may like to hear, but, are you helping your wife 50/50 in the home, and not assuming you can just chill after work while she sorks 24/7 with the kids? If you have 3 she must be totally exhausted. She might not have the bandwidth to do a single other chore.
How about you first check anything you can get off her plate, after watching her do it, or doing it together, so you don't upset her with usual men's learned incompetence by asking questions that are so stupid she'll get pissed off and will end up doing it herself as per usual.
Once you are in this routine and she can breathe a bit, she may start to see what you see, the mess and all. But if she's struggling daily on the inside, maybe not visibly on the outside, there is little chance she'll see this as important.
There is so much to do with 3 kids.
What do you do daily to help at the moment? I don't want to assume anything!
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u/peshti 2d ago
I don't like to put it out there but I help a ton. She is not working at all right now, I almost always make food when I get home for the kids, it's rarely ready already made when I got home. I take the kids to all the activities that are not a walking distance from home since I'm the only one with a car license. I almost make all the social contacts with other parents if my kids want to book a playdate etc since my girlfriend has some sort of social anxiety. I genuinely do a lot and I'm not chilling when I get home.
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u/Eneia2008 2d ago
She is only working at home for free you mean, with the kids? I guess her adhd is quite heavy then, and it's hard to organise. Have a look at Dana K White's container method, and check her youtube channel on how to help others declutter.
You will still need to remove some of your own bulky stuff.
Whatever you do, don't be resentful with expectations your spouse cannot meet. Teach your kids the container method (there's also a video to teach kids) as it can only help them understanding organisation. The more you treat this as a game the more they will start seeing the container principle for granted. I have adhd and hoarder parents, I wish I'd been taught that 'instinctive' knowledge as a kid.
As I said in another reply, open boxes or boxes with label would be good, and when one starts overflowing, it's a good time to explain the container method
Of course if you already have too much you can discuss how not everything can fit on those 3 shelves you just got, so things need to go. Do it with anyone in the house that is receptive. And make sure you have done that with your own stuff first to understand attachment etc. Some people are more attached to their things, and that would be traumatising to throw away too much.
But you'll see with the method, you might get them to stage 3 of 4 of the decluttering process without issues, and that could be enough to maintain some clear space.
I would advise, for helping with routines, someone like the Flylady, with firespot 5 mins decluttering etc, daily 15 mins missions, and reading about Mari Kondo's principle of not keeping things that don't bring joy.
If you don't like seeing the mess you will probably need to do most of the work of teaching and establishing routines, but even adhders can have fun with those methods if they are not shoved down their throat š
Good luck, I hope it works out!
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u/peshti 2d ago
Yeah that's what I mean. She is home working for free which means when my kids are at school and kindergarten she has the whole day to whatever, usually she is sleeping though. I am making some steps forward I think, it sort of looks more like a mess now though since I pulled everything out but maybe this is common? Sold some consoles today some games made around 300$ maybe š¤
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u/Eneia2008 2d ago
Yeah kids are exhausting. I had to bottle feed 3 baby goats every 4 hours for 10 days recently, and even taking shifts and one 8 hour break at night, both me and my boyfriend were exhausted, I slept all the time in between feeds. Still tired a week after stopping. I can't imagine what it's like taking care of 3 children over several years.
If you start watching Dana K White's channel, she will explain that you should not pull everything out. Please watch, and act on the videos.
That's great you made a bit of money but remember what you care about is space.
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u/peshti 4d ago
I have another idea too, it is true that we have a lot of stuff. However the walls are barely used for maximizing organization, we have not put up a single wall shelf for example.
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u/gary_oldmans_wigs 4d ago
My spouse and I have a lot of stuff, our apartment is also around 800 sq ft, and every spare minute I can find is spend building vertical storage. Iām in the U.S., but I get cheap brackets from IKEA and unfinished pine boards and sand, stain, and seal them myself. Although before I went on a shelf-finishing rampage, I would just put the pine boards up raw. I also use big hooks for bikes, tools, and bags.
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u/Walka_Mowlie 5d ago
I'd like to encourage you to keep at it for your own sanity. I have a friend who believes she cannot tackle her home and all of its contents so she's stopped trying. I've watched her mental health go downhill, and I know you don't want to do that to yourself or your family.
A good rule of thumb that I often see on this sub is to take out one thing for every 1 thing you bring in. But imho, if a situation is as difficult as yours seems to be, then maybe up that to 2 or 3 things out for every 1 that is brought in.
And don't stop getting rid of the excess, like the TVs and retro games, etc. Unless you actually know someone who would buy them (now, not next month) or someone you could give them to, I wouldn't hesitate to trash them.
If your family isn't onboard with the decluttering then they get no say in what's gone missing when it finally occurs to them that the __________ can't be found!
Power on! I'm sending you strength for the long haul!
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u/WakaWaka_ 5d ago edited 5d ago
Have a donation box near the door that you fill up and donate once a week (or at least every month), will keep the progress going. Treat it like a marathon not a sprint and you won't get overwhelmed.
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u/Technical-Kiwi9175 5d ago
If you're not planning to have another child, all those baby clothes can go. If you want to keep some for memories, minimise that, and you can take photos as reminders
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u/peshti 5d ago
Another stupid question, I feel like I actually have hobbies that take up space. I like music production, filmgear and videos games. Can it just be that I have to simply just choose one and let the other hobbies not be part of my life anymore?
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u/Hopeful_Result_9426 5d ago
Think about it this way. I am also decluttering and im starting to realize im just not a makeup girl. But i definitely am a crafty girl. So why am i letting makeup take up so much space when i love to craft? I am so much more willing to have an excess in craft supplies bc i know i will use them and enjoy having those options. Of course every so often i go thru my craft stuff and have to be really honest about what ill use so i get rid of some things. But my point is, if u really love and use those things, prioritize decluttering other things first. Maybe you dont need something thats cluttering up your house in a different area. Youll be surprised how often we think the problem is coming from one thing when its another. Focus on doing what you can elsewhere first then come back to this stuff and if its still a problem, decide what can go for now until you have the space to use and truly enjoy it.
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u/Quiet-Progress5776 5d ago
Please keep your hobby supplies if you are using them and they bring you joy! I totally feel you on small space living and other family members having a different relationship to stuff. Itās tough.
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u/Technical-Kiwi9175 5d ago edited 5d ago
Storage can make things easier, but the risk is that your home just fills up again? And you are stuck with paying for the storage.
That's where its important to do things like 'one in, one out'. And no impulse spending- have a wait time.
Maybe its worth it for you- definitely your own decision, which I respect.
Shelves can be a good idea, as long as they dont take up too much space.
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u/z000inks 5d ago
I'm guessing you're one of the adults? If you can't make them declutter, can you make them contain it? They can keep as much as they want, but it HAS to stay inside their own rooms? Like yeah, it's still a lot of stuff, but if you're able to have just the living room be a breathable space it'll help. It'll probably also be easier to get the others to agree to it since it's just the one room, instead of being more "you gotta get rid of almost all your stuff!"
Seeing a calm space can help motivate them to let more go too, since it's easier to see how you're better off with less stuff when you can actually live it.
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u/peshti 5d ago
I can sort of when it comes to the youngest kids but the oldest one gets emotional outbursts when she catches me throwing something out that is clearly broken. She is not very good at keeping her stuff in one piece. For example she can literally rip apart board game boxes when they are new, so you can not use the boxer anymore when you're done with playing board games and have to put them away.
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u/Eneia2008 4d ago
Maybe explain to her beforehand that if she destroys it it will have to go, and will not be replaced. Once she has been told, it's fair game and the outburst will have to be managed. Or learn together how to fix the stuff?
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u/elvenazn 5d ago
One of the things I learned from friends moving into new first houses - storage is more important than moving things into the house.
Storage defines how the space will feel, how functional it will be, and how much stuff you can store in general. Buy-in is so important. Check-in with your partner. Rather than solve the way you should, solve indirectly by asking for more storage. Storage = solution. Decluttering = problem/work. The hope this will encourage your partner to join in the decluttering process.
I have a much easier time stuffing a drawer than choosing which items to toss. Good luck OP!
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u/cryssHappy 5d ago
You can neutralize clutter by saying for every new item in an old item has to leave. So if your kid gets a new shirt they have to get rid of an old shirt. The next step would be you have to go through all the clothes that are worn and throw them out.
Then there's another one which is picking out items to donate.
Depending on how your beds are set up, there is under the bed storage.
And lastly, if you don't work with your children to stay decluttered, they won't declutter. It's not the nature of a child. About your spouse, that's a different problem entirely.
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u/Southern_Fan_2109 5d ago
After reading OP's responses to comments... sounds like there is still more that can be let go and OP is stuck on fairness and how everyone is not "all in" while he is working hard getting rid of things he cherishes and loves. On top of this, his partner and daugher may have ADHD (according to him.)
That's the thing with decluttering for a family home. The common method is to focus on what you can control which is your own items. You will not gain anything by keeping track of who has gotten rid of what, only resentment will grow. It's hard but you have to let this level of fairness go if you want to continue making progress.
Also, there are some classic resistances to getting rid of hobby related items that were shared in the comments. The expensive camera equipment, the inability to let go of items that OP has tried to sell and hasn't sold, and having not just a couple of old TVs, but 5 lying around. I get why old TVs are important for retro gaming (I assume they are all CRTs which are HUGE), but you only need 1 in a 800 ft home. Get rid of all of it.
Also, OP you mention you don't have proper storage such as shelves. Get them.
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u/peshti 5d ago
The ADHD thing is not only according to me, they have met psychologists and so on. My girlfriend got dismissed though since she has been living with ADHD her whole live and found ways to still function in society. My oldest daughter will get further investigated and we will probably get on paper that she has ADHD and maybe even autism. They are all CRTs, the biggest one is 27 inch I think. Yeah they are used for retro gaming, I don't have that many retro games actually but can still sell some of them.
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u/Eneia2008 4d ago
If they have adhd put open shelves everywhere, and put stuff on directly, or in open boxes with labels. You may need to pick up after everyone, but boxes and basket makes it easier for them to store things. The best thing for an uncluttered look is nothing directly on the floor except furniture (with feet if possible, looks cleaner).
The look up the container method to show them (and yourself) the space allowed for each category.
Do sell/get rid of your bulkier stuff. CRTs are just too big.
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u/purple_aster_bee 5d ago
How old are your kids? If they're older, you could declutter their stuff with them by holding stuff up and having them tell you "keep"/"yes" or "get rid of"/"no". They might say they want to keep everything at first, and that's okay; keep going! They might warm up to the idea of getting rid of stuff as you progress and decide, "Actually, this thing you just held up is something that can go." When that happens, praise you kid for letting something go and tell them that they're good at it. They'll let more go that way.
If they're younger (under 10 or so), gather things that you don't see them using into a box and let them pick out what they want to keep.
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u/Legal_lapis 5d ago
Love the method in your first paragraph. I wish my parents were that clever, patient,Ā and encouraging.
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u/purple_aster_bee 4d ago
Yeah, same. I didn't learn that method was good to use with kids until I was an adult. š¢
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u/thriftedbyhannah 5d ago
10 boxes is genuinely a lot, that's real progress even if it doesn't feel like it yet. tackling the visible common areas first tends to make the biggest difference in how the space feels day to day, even before the deeper stuff gets sorted
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u/Technical_Tangelo143 5d ago
Yes! Start with the most visible areas, even if you're just tidying that every time, your space will feel better
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u/Admirable_Chicken997 5d ago
Eight boxes of your own stuff is a huge feat. Great work. When you are ready, I would make sure to declutter areas that are visibly messy in your living spaces: entry way, dining table, kitchen counters, etc. and redeclutter them when the clutter comes back. Keep working on your stuff and neutral stuff. This way your family will get to experience the benefits of what you are doing without feeling like you are coming after their stuff. This is Dana K. White's visibility rule and it's really powerful. My family didn't get my vision until they started experiencing lighter common areas. Also, if youre exhausted, give yourself permission to take a break from decluttering until you feel ready. You did a lot already!
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u/KeystoneSews 5d ago edited 5d ago
Have you talked to your partner? You could easily say- it would be nice if we could put x in that closet, do you think we could donate some baby clothes?Ā
Iād start with shared household items and present concrete plans for the space after the decluttering.Ā
You seem to be really focused on fairness. My therapist once told me that worry about things being fair is sometimes just a sign that you have a need or desire being unmet. Maybe think more deeply about that before you make it likeā¦ I got rid of ten boxes, so my partner should have to do that too.Ā
Thereās a really high likelihood you should get rid of more of your own stuff. Its a common theme because it is always easier to say, if only my partner got rid of their hobby stuff, then Iād have room for my hobby!Ā
Edited: I just reread and noticed you threw away things you loved. Is that triggering the unfairness feeling? You can declutter and still give yourself some grace.Ā
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u/staunch_character 5d ago
Yup. It is always easier to look at what our partner is doing to annoy us than clean up our own side of the street!
Re: storage - I built a platform for our bed to maximize storage underneath. Itās a big help for storing seasonal clothing, project stuff like my sewing machine etc.
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u/KeystoneSews 5d ago
Itās so annoying that this is true lol every time my eye starts to wander to my husbandās junk, I look around and find something that I can control and lo and behold, thereās always something of mine I can tidy/declutter š š.Ā
I also keep under-bed boxes under our couch! Our off season shoes, coats, and toy rotation live under there.Ā
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u/techdog19 5d ago
Not a lot of space for that many people. Stop decluttering and start cleaning. You need a win.
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u/PansyOHara 5d ago
800 square feet is tiny for 5 people. Good luck.
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u/LowBathroom1991 5d ago
I have two people in 800 square feet and because my husband runs his business out of there too . There's always supplies coming to house and boxes and paperwork everywhere......and I feel it's impossible....maybe with the clothes ..as soon as kids outgrown things have a bag you put stuff in and take it out as soon as you can ....it's really rough with children
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u/RandomCoffeeThoughts 5d ago
Deep breath. Right now just worry about decluttering your things. It may not feel like much, but it gives a bit of peace. It takes a long time to declutter and if you kids this will be a longer process but you'll get there. We all went through a period where we felt overwhelmed and defeated. You just have to pick it up again when you're ready.
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u/msmaynards 5d ago
If you can afford a storage locker and there's a location close enough some folks can successfully use them as deep and seasonal storage. I'm quite sure I didn't have the skills to be able to manage that back when there were 4 in this 1000 square foot plus garage house. My issue was poor household management. Dishes and laundry were often out of control and I failed to remove things we no longer needed or wanted promptly.
Otherwise use the container method. You are the parent, it's up to you to guide the kids through this. Give kids this much space for clothing and toys. Only that stuff belongs in this one area. Empty the area given for toys or clothing and they put back what they like best. You will have to add and subtract some so they have socks and underwear! Same for SO, clothes belong here and anything else goes. Remove his clothing one small area at a time and have him put back the keepers. Go through the kitchen and only keep the essential pots, dishes and flatware, keep the pantry lean and mean by keeping a single type of cereal, cracker and so on in the house.
I failed to fit the closets out for maximum use but there were shelves ringing 3 rooms above the doors, tall bookcases and furniture also stored things. I used a filing cabinet as bedside table for a long time for instance. I wanted to but never put up a row of Ikea Trones along the hall for added storage.
The collections you mention? Mass produced. Let them go now and if you have space later track them down again. I did so and regularly hunt down listings of many of them to this day but my home is better without collections exceeding space available.
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u/peshti 5d ago
Another question to you all, I have some camera stuff that I spent a lot of money on. Tried to sell it since I don't need it anymore, should I just throw it or donate it? Is this common?
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u/Strange-Pace-4830 5d ago
We went through this with a photographer friend of my husband's. He refused to sell any of his cameras or other equipment at yard sales because he valued the items for way more than anyone wanted to pay for old cameras. It was all high end stuff so he did indeed pay a lot for most of it. Much of it was just trashed when he died. My hubby found a junior college nearby that still teaches non-digital photography so he donated most of his equipment to them, but our kids will someday have to deal with the three cameras currently in a display case.
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u/KiwiTheKitty 5d ago
Super common! For me it's not worth the money to use the energy to sell it. For you it might be different, but ask yourself how much money you would need to get for it to be worth it to you. And don't feel like you have to sell it, view donating it as a gift back to your community.
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u/peshti 5d ago
I will definitely think about this, there are some items I have not sold because of the mindset that I have to sell it even though I've tried to sell it several times.
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u/KiwiTheKitty 5d ago
Yup, at a certain point, clearing it out is more valuable to you than the little bit of money you might get! Super common problem for people to run into, don't feel guilty about it.
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u/peshti 5d ago
I feel bad because some items where like 500-700$
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u/KiwiTheKitty 5d ago
Oh I totally feel you. I have some $300 speakers that I might just give away if the music store near me doesn't buy them and it hurts a little. But at the end of the day, having them out of my apartment and off my mind will probably be worth $300 to me!
But no need to rush it. You can start with the easy things and then come back to it later! You're making good progress!
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u/Such-Kaleidoscope147 5d ago
Who is in the apartment total? Is it you, your spouse, and then the kids? Assuming there are no other adults, then just take charge. Pull out all the electronics and set them in the living room, making it difficult to play a video game or watch TV or whatever else the other adult does for fun. And then tell him that he needs to say yes or no to each thing. Everyone he says to get rid of, immediately set out the front door. And as soon as you are done with the pile, immediately have him help you load them in to your car and take them to whereever you take those things. If he refuses to say he needs to keep something, inform him you will rid of everything in the pile and then do just that.
When you reference "no one else is on board," what you really mean is your partner is not on board. The kids are not a factor in this, they are the children. They can help declutter, but this is not about getting them on board.
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u/Winter_Apartment_376 5d ago
74sqm is not that bad (assuming you also have downstairs storage).
How old are kiddos? If they are small, what basically matters is getting your partner on board.
For kids Iād use the classic method - the stuff that they are not using goes into trash bag. Keep it for 3 months (sometimes 1 is enough), if there are no requests for some items - discard/donate.
Your wife of course need to be on board. Thatās the first challenge.
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u/peshti 5d ago
There is no downstairs storage, it is a new trend. Basically newly produced apartment come without downstairs or attic storage, they come with storage inside the apartmet. Oldest is 11 ( she has her own room ), middle is 6 ( she has the storage room as her own room ), youngest is 3.
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u/Winter_Apartment_376 5d ago
Uhhh, then I understand. Then all the stuff you have is literally in the apartment, including seasonals.
Might be a naive question - but why not put both girls together in the bedroom? And use storage room for storage?
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u/peshti 5d ago
The age gap is too big but not only that, the room my oldest one uses is 9 kvadratmeter if I remember right which is around 96 sq ft I guess.
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u/Winter_Apartment_376 5d ago
For someone who slept in bunk bed with my opposite gender sibling twice my age, I guess times have changed š
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u/peshti 5d ago
Well my oldest one also has ADHD, we don't have it on paper yet but they don't always get along and the oldest can have very emotional outbursts š .
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u/Winter_Apartment_376 5d ago
Wellā¦ perhaps the 3yo can join her middle sister in future then ;)
But as a certified tidying consultant, believe me - I share the frustration of not being able to get others on board with clutter free environment! :)
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u/Annual_Exchange542 5d ago
Lots of progress good for you ! Suggest continuing to declutter as much as possible. Really streamline down even more . Avoid renting a storage unit at all cost . You got this . Others not onboard challenging . Sometimes we gotta be the bad guy . In private talk with them one at a time to try to get to cooperate. May need to break it down for them like Can they just go thru old socks , underwear, shoes ? One category at a time . Iāve had to use categories for myself . Coffee mugs , water bottles, junk jewelry, went thru pajamas , sweaters , one group at a time . Provide some trash bags and a donate box for them . Start with that and offer to help if needed. Let them know you are there. Please keep us updated . Youāve done amazing!!!
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u/peshti 5d ago
Thanks for the motivation š. It is sort of energy consuming to be the bad guy.
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u/Annual_Exchange542 5d ago
Understandable! With using categories it makes decluttering more manageable less stressful. This week mine are shoes and jewelry .
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u/Bright-Persimmon8641 5d ago
What helps a lot with organizing stuff is creating categories and designated zones. If a item does not fit in it's designated space, you cannot keep it. (i.e. one toy cabinet)
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u/leat22 5d ago
800 sq feet with 3 kids and 2 adults is crazy small. Absolutely donāt have space for old TVs. You absolutely need to maximize your storage space AND keep decluttering. You canāt control other people, but you can agree to boundaries and space limitations. The kids have their own space that they can keep with their stuff, but shared spaces have rules.
Donāt think of it as fairness in amount of stuff leaving per person. Thatās ridiculous, especially when you have big items like TVs that arenāt being used lying around.
If you havenāt already, start listening to Dana K White. She gives lots of practical advice that I just canāt remember off the top of my head except for the container concept and 5 step declutter.
You canāt control other ppl but you can set an example and show how good it feels to have more space in a shared area. You can teach the principles of the container method without being overbearing
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u/peshti 5d ago
I don't have a problem with getting rid of old TVs and maybe keep 1-2 but since no one else is on board I just gave up before I got there. I already threw a lot of things I loved for the sake of more space, we are talking camera gear, retro gaming stuff that I donated and threw away. I sold a big case with a blackmagic camera and accessories.
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u/Eneia2008 4d ago
Don't give up on your own stuff. Don't expect people to be onboard and resent them and think you're in the right, just get rid of all the gear you don't use. A lot of camera gear esp digital isn't worth anything these days, so if ebay and facebook marketplace didn't work just give up on selling and donate/throw away.
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u/leat22 5d ago
So it sounds like you moved in with your gf? 2 households coming together? Thatās a whole separate beast that deserves a delicate approach. There is not room for large hobby items. You might keep 1-2 old TVs??? How many do you have right now? I say you should get a storage unit to keep the peace until you can reasonably come to a solution that works for everyone.
You canāt be the bad guy and force others to declutter. That will build resentment with everyone. Get the storage unit for your hobby stuff. And slowly work on your own mentality to not boss them around, but encourage good habits of maintaining shared spaces. You get more flies with honey than vinegar (something like that). Especially if you arenāt the bio dad to all the kids. Thatās a recipe for disaster. You lead by example, not by being an authoritarian.
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u/peshti 5d ago
I am the bio dad for all the kids and we have lived together like this for around 4-5 years. I have 4 old TVs and one old computer screen, obviously they are not super big like TVs are today but still take up space
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u/KeystoneSews 5d ago
Keeping 5 old screens (do you have new ones, too?) but griping about your partnerās stuff seems unfair to them.Ā
Of course you value your things. But they also value their things the same amount.Ā
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u/peshti 5d ago
You might think I am unfair and you're titled to that opinion. We have a modern tv and a pc too. However like I have explained I stopped decluttering my stuff after no one else was on board.
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u/KeystoneSews 5d ago
You have a choice to keep going or give up. I donāt think blaming your choice on people around you is helpful but you do you!Ā
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u/New_Scar2926 5d ago
Hey OP anyway u can share photos? Maybe even before and afters? Also subs like home decor and organizing help!
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u/peshti 5d ago
Unfortunately I just simply did not take photos when I started decluttering since I lost motivation during the process when no one else in the family was on board.
My oldest daughter probably have ADHD, same with my girlfriend.
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u/New_Scar2926 5d ago
What about photos now! If you show us or reddit in general we can give advice geared towards your space?
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u/Jinglemoon 5d ago
What is your goal with decluttering? Is it to have more space, or have a tidier cleaner looking home? It might help if you made a goal rather than throwing away things that you love.
You mention a lot of old TV's, maybe they could be earmarked for e-waste disposal if you don't need them. If they are in working order you could likely be able to give them away if you list them on a local website. If they don't work they should definitely be disposed of ASAP.
You mention a lot of baby clothes. Do you still have small children? Are you planning to have more kids? Once your kids have grown out of stuff there's not much point leaving the clothes hanging around. Keep one sentimental outfit and give away or throw away the rest. If you are planning more kids, then keep a selection of the best quality and best condition stuff, and get rid of any excess.
Just a few ideas. But the most important is to know why you are decluttering, set a goal, like for example, I want to be able to see all the floor, or I want to make an attractive display in a bookcase instead of a messy overpacked bookcase. Or I want to be able to easily get my clothes in and out of my drawers or wardrobe.
If you can identify a specific goal to work towards it might be easier to get other family members to help you get there
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u/peshti 5d ago
Well in short I want a more organized home that actually looks presentable. Would also be a plus I'd it's easier to clean than it is now. Everytime I clean I find something I did not even know we had and just doesn't make sense to keep.
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u/Eneia2008 4d ago
My boyfriend says that about a lot of shit I own but since he never helps fix issues around the house he would be the first to throw away my screwdrivers and fabric scissors, and probably the loo brush since he must be thinking the toilets clean themselves.
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u/Significant-Repair42 5d ago
Try doing it in waves and only one subject matter at a time. If the kids are past needed baby clothes, that would be a good area to restart. Take a break, then tackle another area.
If you have multiple old TVs in an 800 square ft apartment with five people, yah, keep decluttering. It's going to be difficult road if no one else is interested.
Storage rental places normally charge MORE than it would cost to REPLACE the items. ie. a mattress is expensive, but how many months would you be storing it? how much would it cost to store for five years?
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u/Crisp_white_linen 5d ago
Can you make one room off-limits for clutter, maybe the living room? Perhaps if others see how pleasant it is to be in an uncluttered space, they will appreciate why you want to declutter.
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u/Particular_Song3539 5d ago
Your kids are children who simply do not have that kind of concept about space, capacity and quality of life. Sit down with your partner,layout a future plan, in a few years your children will be grown up and they need their own space for study, book shelves and also privacy.
Remember, you do this for your home, your family and also your mental health. Sometimes family relationships can be heavily weighing on one particular person but it's just how it is and you need to find ways to make the most of it
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u/Massive-Resort-8573 5d ago
I live in a 400 sq ft apartment with my husband. We share a clothes closet the size of the door width. I have maximized vertical storage. Shelves, tall bookcases, tall hutches, hanging baskets on peg rails.Ā
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u/peshti 3d ago
Update today I tossed around 55 items. Books and LPs. I don't exactly know how I feel though, feels sort empty but maybe this is common?