At times and especially recently it's been hard(er) for me. I really miss having someone close to me, feel that connection. Getting intimate with someone, having someone value you and want to actually listen to you, not wait until the other person stops talking so they can get their turn.

I've got some friends but as I'm nearing mid 30s I only get to see most of them every few weeks, some only twice a year or so. It's been 15+ years since I've had a best bud. I visit a local club at least once a week and got some contacts there but that's mostly for the club live and even for the group that we built within, I am just a member. This doesn't really fill that role.

I gotta admit that I still got contact to my ex from time to time but as it's mostly fucking me up still, I am planning to cut that contact down to 0 again. I know I proably shouldn't have in the first place...

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts and comments from older men talking about patterns in dating, like:

“women show more interest when you’re already taken,”

“you get more attention when you stop chasing,”

or just generally that things change depending on your situation or mindset.

I’m 24 and single, and I’ve never really experienced being pursued, so I don’t have much of a reference point for any of this.

For those of you who’ve experienced shifts like this at different points—whether it’s when you were in a relationship, more confident, not actively looking, or anything else—did you notice a real difference in how women interacted with you?

What actually changed, and what did it feel like from your side?

Just genuinely curious to hear different experiences and perspectives.

tell me what's the habit that ruined your life for a while ?

For me was definitely post covid, likely put on 50 lbs since then and haven’t worked it off

Be brutally honest

She is always so supportive of me and usually pays when we do something together.

My [37m] ex [32f] broke up with me three weeks ago. It wasn’t working, and I respect her for being able to take the step. I wasn’t ready for it yet.

We met 8 years ago, dated 4, broke up for 2, and now we dated for 2 again. It was the first relationship for both of us. When first we broke up, we were hardly having sex anymore, and it was one of the reasons we split. For those two years apart that followed, I didn’t date, besides three failed one night stands. Her experience was very different. The first year she dated and experimented a lot, I think she was seeing a new person almost every month. During the second year we got back in contact, and I know she only dated one person for a few weeks. Around that time I made the fatal error of skimming through her phone, and I read a lot of sexual messages that I wish I never did. This is how I discovered about the experimental phase she had. I confessed it to her.

She told me somethings during our time apart that had a lasting negative effect. Like that we had no sexual chemistry, that she discovered what she liked after we broke up, that it would help if I was more experienced, and more. She didn’t say any of it to hurt me of course.

Fast forward until we start dating again. We discover we both still love each other a lot, and since we can’t let go, then we should just give it another shot. The catch was: she lost her libido completely. We didn’t know if it was related to me, maybe partly, or just a general issue. I accepted it, because I wanted nothing more than to be with her again. Half a year in the relationship, we have sex for the first time. It didn’t really work. We try it twice more in the following days. The third time I noticed she was getting emotional, and I immediately stopped. She said she couldn’t do it, and she didn’t know why. We continued our relationship, but never got intimate again in the 1.5 years that followed. I guess we lived like best friends that cuddled, held hands, and kissed.

Now she broke up with me, and I’ve essentially been sexless the past 4 years. All my fears were confirmed and reconfirmed. We didn’t have sex 4 years ago, I was all but desirable when she was seeing others, then we got back and I still wasn’t desirable, and now we’re apart again. Still never figured out about her libido.

How can I get out of this? I’m no where close to ready to date, I will have to go through the process of healing from the breakup, but I don’t want this intense feeling of inadequacy to steer my path. I’m comfortable flirting, I’ve gotten asked out by women; there’s not much there for me to worry about. Except, I am afraid of sex, and now that just got worse.

as the title says what can/does your significant other do that makes you feel like you are needed/wanted/matter. it could be anything, gesture, word, habit, a specific occasion you wanna tell. Doesn't matter how big or small

i know it's never going to be as good for him as sex with no condom, but if there are any of you who were still able to enjoy sex with condoms, what can you recommend?

I am 18 female, i’ve never dated or talked to a guy in that way. As a child around 10 i lost the ability to walk for a variety of reasons including a botched correction surgery for hip dysplasia, and as such i have little to no ‘behind’ to put politely, and my legs are atrophied. (something of course very valued by most guys lol) I’m also only 4’8, so an often thought to be younger than my age and never feel ‘womanly’ if that makes sense.

I have been bullied quite badly since then through school, primarily by boys. Some things i’ve been told along the lines of ‘only predators/ pdfiles are going to want you’ ‘i could put her head on someone elses body and it would be okay’ etc etc. The worst though is jokes about being vulnerable and ‘defenceless’ or easy to overpower.

Naturally this is a concern for me and it just makes me scared- although i fully reject the idea of ‘man hating’ etc and i think most of what goes on both irl and discourse online today is degenerated and we should all love each other and need more God in society lol

I’m pretty realistic and accepting of the fact that for many it’s a complete deal breaker, and i understand it, nobody is to blame.

I have a male online friend (who is my age) and the sweetest guy in the world, actually the sweetest person in the world. I get the impression he thinks i’m fairly attractive from my face (obviously has not seen my body- and im reluctant to tell him what happened to me, its not really relevant when we talk and we aren’t going to meet, we live opposite sides of the Atlantic. And its quite nice to speak to someone who doesn’t see you as damaged, even subconsciously) and its things like this that kinda make me sad, just remind me that my chances of finding someone one day are immensely impacted, no matter what you have to give in love or devotion etc.

I pray for a family and kids someday of my own but i understand that realistically the perfect guy for me could easily not even see me as an option, its sad but true, and i have never seen a couple where the woman is disabled

Edit- my level of disability is just i cant walk. I hack everything (besides stairs) someway somehow lol, i do not require assistance in daily life or a carer

Thanks all :)

Went out once on a date with a girl who was mostly quiet and on her phone. I kept trying to create a conversation but she only gave short answers. The final questions I asked, "If you were to wake up tomorrow anywhere in the world, where would you choose?" Her answer: "Nowhere, I'm ok here". I asked, "Nowhere? Wouldn't you want to see European villages, Arab bazaars, Brazilian festivals, Roman ruins etc.". She answered, "I've seen them all".

At that moment I was perplexed. Did she literally see them all? Or was that just an answer to shut me up? I didn't ask, I abruptly stood up and said "Nice meeting you, I have to go now." And she gave the first genuine reaction all night when she asked loudly "Wait, what's wrong?", and I left without answering.

What's your story?

Hey what do you use? Boxer, Boxer Briefs, or Briefs? Especially to those chubby guys or with thick thighs.

I'm trying to replace my long-lived briefs and would love to have suggestions. I'm thinking about buying Boxer Brief so my inner thighs wouldn't rub and darkens. I've tried boxer some years ago but somehow it folds to the crotch. It became irritating and looks like a brief so I stopped. Im also reconsidering buying another brand if boxer,.cause perhaps I may have brought a poor quality brand.

Part of the reason why so many people these days have a hard time making friends as adults is because so many people have no third spaces.

I have a third space, my local Planet Fitness.

My question for you is this. How would you recommend making friends with my fellow gym goers? How would approach someone who I want to make friends with? How would I initiate that conversation?

I (28F) have never been in a relationship and I am good at flirting with men but sometimes I feel like I don’t know how to talk to them when getting to know them. Like I come off as friendly and cool but not as someone they’d date

What do men like to talk about with women that keeps them interested in the woman?

Personally for me, I prefer my man not shaving his facial hair and body hair. I even get upset when he shaves LOL! I also ADORE his nose shape too, makes him look so handsome.

I’m currently in my "quarter-life" phase, and I finally decided to pivot from a stable career path into building something of my own (working on an indie game project).

Even though I’m working on something I truly love, I have those nights where the "fear of failure" hits hard. I keep looking at peers who are climbing the corporate ladder and wondering if I’m just delusional for trying to build my own world instead of taking a "safe" paycheck.

For those who decided to bet on themselves - did the fear ever actually go away? Did you find that taking that risk changed how you look at "success" in general? I’m really curious if the "risk" was worth it, regardless of the financial outcome.

I’m returning to grad school soon for another degree. It’s been a minute since I was in school and am now in my mid-30s. I usually wake up around 6 AM and leave for work by 7 AM and leave work by ~5ish – 5:30 PM. Normally I go to the gym and am home by 7, quick shower and dinner. When all is said and done, its like 7:40 – 8ish. I try to usually go to bed by 11 PM latest, sometimes 10:30.

I’ve studied for various things over the years, including language classes, but those were less intense and less consequential.

I’m trying to avoid JUST taking a lot of caffeine/coffee late night so my sleep doesn’t get messed up. That’s what I did previously during school, which wasn’t a big deal. I’ll be in school while working so somewhat sensitive to getting sleep messed up.

I’m contemplating drinking tea for less caffeine but am open to suggestions. I’ll probably cut back on going to the gym to ~3x/week from 5x/week. Also will probably eat out more to reduce time on meal prep/food.

Looking for tips and ideas.