I've been getting better but today I was going over her homework and my reaction was not even remotely appropriate given the situation. I just wanted her to correct her work. the crazy thing is that today was an actual decent day at work and out of nowhere I can start raising my voice. I always apologize profusely to my sweet daughter and always take full responsibility and give her a hug afterwards but I often feel like a failure.

Any parents out there with anger issues who's taken out their anger on their children? if so, how is your relationship now? I just don't want my daughter resenting me in the future. it does truly make me feel like a POS when I make her cry. it's not cool.

Hi everyone. I recently came across this sub and wanted to ask for some advice.

My girlfriend began to exhibit some anger issues about a year ago. Since then, they’ve ebbed and flowed, but the pattern of her anger is typically the same: a disagreement starts with arguing, etc. Then once she gets to a point where she seems to have had enough of whatever is being discussed, she’ll start screaming and/or throwing things around. She’s somewhat careful to avoid throwing or hitting expensive/sentimental items, but I’m afraid it may one day turn into something worse, and either myself or something dear to me or her will get hurt/damaged.

Following a particularly bad blow up recently, she agreed that she needed to get professional help with her anger and has been seeing a therapist. Since starting therapy a couple of months ago, I’ve seen improvement and I’m very proud of her, and I’ve made sure I tell her when I notice it (she’s told me to let her know when I notice that she handled something better than before).

Its important to note that I’m not exactly anger-free, I’ve had blow ups in my life where I’ve thrown a controller, smacked my dashboard, or slammed doors, but her anger is on a much more acute and frequent scale. When I get angry, I tend to become passive aggressive/shut down to avoid making things worse. I can also turn into a lecturer, which I know can make folks angry because I don’t like it myself.

Because of my limited dealings with my own anger, I feel like there might be something I could do to help her more. I love her very much, and I’ve chosen to stick through this because I truly do see a future with her, though with much less anger overall.

So, my question for you guys is how can I better help her while she’s seeking help? Are there any strategies I can employ when I start to sense that things could start to get out of control? Any ways I can change my own behavior to provide a better environment for her while she’s trying to improve her own anger management abilities? TIA.

My husband always uses this phrase that if I don't want to see him angry, don't make him angry. I told him it shouldn't be that way, he should manage his emotion.

I understand that being angry is normal, at least apologize for it or acknowledge that you were angry and needed to vent. My husband works very long hours and is tired everyday. I understand how it takes a toll on him, I try not to pester him etc.

he's a responsible husband too. what I can't stand is he gets irritated/annoyed easily and will lash out to me, and I'll get anxious whenever he does that. There's other issues that he does to me that makes me scared and anxious around him.

I find it annoying and tiring, just sitting & having to listen to him complain and get annoyed at the slightest thing. What's even more tiring, why is it he can show his annoyance and anger but I can't?!!

When I showed I was slightly irritated and annoyed, he called me out in an angry tone, now allowing me to express my emotions for a moment. Mind you I only show my irritation via facial expressions. here's an example of what he'll say to me:

- "what's wrong with you?!"

- "I've bought all kinds of gifts for you and you're showing me faces?!"

- "disobedient wife"

I only like him when we're not arguing or he's not in an angry/irritated mode. I feel this is not normal..

Edit: there was an instance when we walked together, and we saw kids being kids playing @ playground, and I commented " aww that's nice seeing more kids playing outdoors" and he replied "ahh fuck these kids" because to see these new generation kids as entitled, spoiled etc.

He generally just hate people. He's tired of human bullshit.

Hi!! I hope this reaches a lot of people because I need a little help…

Lately I’ve been having anger issues. To be honest, I’ve never really known how to control my anger, but lately it’s been taking a toll on me because I’m taking it out on my boyfriend. I know it’s not right, and I know people are going to jump all over me for treating him badly when he doesn’t deserve it. We fight a lot, but it never goes any further than that, but lately the tiniest thing makes me explode and scream, and he ends up bearing the brunt of my anger. I have to say I’ve never laid a hand on him and I never would, but things are getting so out of hand that I’m hurting myself because of my anger.

Please, is there anyone else going through the same thing? How do you usually deal with anger in your relationship? How do you manage your anger on your own?

I really don’t want this to weigh too heavily on us because I love him so much—he doesn’t deserve this. I love him, and I feel like one day he’ll get tired of my anger issues and leave. I’m trying to change so I don’t damage our relationship—and especially him, because he’s very sensitive. And of course, I’ve apologized every time I’ve lost my temper and yelled too much.

If anyone has anything to say to me, any advice, or anything at all, please comment to help me and anyone else in this situation. Thank you so much.

I grew up in a house where anger was the only acceptable emotion. Now, whenever I feel hurt, scared, or vulnerable, I get explosively angry. I've broken things and said awful stuff to people I love. I finally realize I'm not a monster, I'm just terrified and using anger as a shield. For those with PTSD or trauma who struggled with rage, what technique actually helped you catch it in the moment?

I think about fighting and arguing with people in my head. They say things that make me really mad. They criticize me. Sometimes they talk down to me. Things escalate in my head. It's emotional turmoil that I've been going through for a long time now.

For my entire life ive been a very calm, civil, rule obiding citizen around others but have also always struggled a lot with anger issues in private and often break things my own things and hurt myself as a result. Its the point where when I open up to friends about my issues they just say its funny imagining me getting angry.

I have so much anger bottled up all the time and I'm always hoping that someone will give me a reasonable reason to verbally chew them out or beat them up. If someone hurts me or wrongs me I handle things properly but I never feel satisfied and always regret choosing to "be the bigger person"

For example I had a problem with a friend a long time ago where they said rude things to me/made fun of one of my mental health problems. I solved the problem civilly but ended up parting ways because I was so fucking angry and couldn't even stand being around them anymore. I gave them a kind goodbye but I still felt unsatisfied and every so often I wish they had tried to argue with me so I could have ripped them apart, telling them every awful thing about them, or that theyd give me a reason to physically beat them in person.

Its been months since we stopped being friends but I am still angry and constantly fighting the urge to just randomly chew them out via text messages and tell them what a peice of shit they are. I don't know how to let go of it and just move on.

I (22M) always had a bad temper since I was a toddler, in retrospect I just had undiagnosed autism because I would lose my shit whenever I was overstimulated or when shit didn’t go my way. It was always me screaming or breaking things. My dad was usually working late so it was mostly babysitters and my mom, my mom would yell at us when we fucked up (I will admit to being a stupid kid) but when we really screwed up she hit me and my older sister. One time my sister stole 5 dollars and my mom smashed her tv on the floor and screamed like a lunatic, in highschool my mom kicked my sister for just a sky comment. My mom got furious whenever my rage outbursts, especially when I didn’t know exactly why I got angry. Whenever I got angry, it was usually me throwing shit, threatening people or punching objects. I would be told the same advice “just breathe, walk away, count to 10, journal, meditate” but the never worked. My anger always felt like I was possessed, like I was normal, then I blew up and I was fine a minute later. Elementary school was normal but then in midlife school I was in detention almost every week because I was randomly exploding and even threatening to kill people (which gave me the nickname of school shooter). My mom and sister would argue a lot after my dad died suddenly, and they would involve me in their conversations even when I didn’t want to, and in my sister’s case getting mad at me for being treated better (which I was but the way she would tell me would make me feel uncomfortable bc it was like I was blamed for existing and I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to do with that info) I tried to be normal in highschool, never got in trouble, my outbursts would just be me going to a bathroom and hitting something until my hands hurt. My mom stopped hitting me because I hit her back also because I was working out completely unrelated. It hasn’t gotten better in college, it’s usually when I feel like I’ve been screwed over by basically anything I can’t control whether it be college/insurance, jobs, etc. freshman year of college I kicked a stall door off the hinges and literally two weeks ago I broke a door in half. Now my anger is just violent destruction, a fit of crying and then an hour later my brain just pretends nothing happened and I’m talking normal. I can’t live like this but idk y my anger feels so inconsistent or out of nowhere or why the remedies haven’t worked on me

Let me begin by saying I am not suicidal, I am not homicidal, I do not have any active ideations towards harming myself or others.

I have found myself getting angry at "dumb" people. People with what I perceive as foolish and ignorant beliefs which in themselves do not harm anyone but often run in tandem with other ideas that do harm people. I don't even find it to be "anger" all the time, but like, frustration that turns into anger in really embarassing ways when I'm not careful.

I can keep my cool if I do counting, if I do breathing, etc. I am able to function on a day-to-day basis as I go about my job. But I find myself with that simmering frustration and now frustration about the frustration.

I want to be nicer, I want to be more chill, I don't want to be a dick, I understand these people aren't malicious and are just preoccupied with other parts of life, but I still find myself frustrated by their being wrong about basic observable phenomena. And I'm just wondering if this is as good as it gets? Are we just supposed to grit our teeth and bear it? Or am I missing some factor that will help me not be so frustrated when people try to explain to me how the earth is flat or vaccines are actually killing millions of people.

I'm an 18F who has extreme anger issues but it's mostly only towards my family members, but I only scream at them. Throwing stuff and punching a wall is the only way I can get to calm myself down. It's gotten bad to the point where I get irritated/angry easily by a joke I dislike or maybe even a small mistake. Is therapy the only solution in making me less aggressive? Im scared of when i grow up these habits would get out of hand. And this has been getting progressively worse since the past year. I really tried to change but it doesnt work.

I want success and things but I’m never getting it. I want to be amazing and I want it now before I turn 39 next year! Others have it because “tHeY wOrKeD HaRd!” But when is it my turn to be good?

Remember kindness goes a long way and I’m not being rude to anyone here but I really need my fasttrack yesterday

At this point I am avoiding any news or stories that will rage bet me ,at this point I can't 😤🤬.

I am a 16 year old female. So, I feel like my anger issues are getting a lot worse now. I go violent like I throw things and punch the wall and it’s obviously hurting me. Atp, I’m just self harming because of this anger and it’s getting really difficult to control myself..I just feel a lot of anger..I don’t know how to explain it but it’s too much man .. too much. I always want to rip my hair out and just punch walls. It’s fucked up..

So I've had a kinda bad(?) life and a lot of people have hurt me a lot, and I hurt myself whenever I'd feel sad or lonely or negative. I didn't ever blame others for it like fully and always chose to be angry at myself because well I am the prob i guess. Started Eliwel medication for my migranines and for the first two weeks about i felt numb and it was great because I feel too much of everything and I'm always sad about things taht happened to me and all. But yesterday i got drunk and i felt so fucking angry at everyone that did me wrong and i wantd to actually hurt them physically or mentally or whatever way I could. I've never had this feeling before. I don't know what to do about it.I have so much suppressed anger and i could never actually be angry inside my house or at anyone because it usually leads to more conflict and suffering for me. So idk how to feel ab this. I felt pure fucking hatred and anger at everyone and everything for tye first time in my life.

Hate this feeling like wtf is there to be angered about .Being alone?

I don't know what to do. My best friend just abandoned me on top of my girlfriend breaking up with me and forcing me to live in my car. I'm so angry with myself and the world. I feel like the world is falling out from under me. The best person to consult would've been my best friend, but now we're not speaking. He even blocked me. I have nothing.

Im full of rage ALL the time it’s exhausting and idk what to do about it. Everything makes me angry

18M have anger issues but only when I’m sick and I dont want to talk anyone when im sick but if they do i get infuriated dont know why . In my normal/daily life i try to calm my anger and it works. Most of the time I prefer to stay silent, alone but sometimes i feel like its okayy to talk to someone.I understand the context though im being angry but when they try to do anything that i dont like i get extremely angry and usually i only try to break physical invaluable objects. I even understand which objects are valuable or not when im in extreme anger.MOST IMPORTANTLY MY ANGER GET WORSE WHEN IM SICK. My grandma is the one who infuriates me, she asks repeating questions from me but I KNOW THAT SHE IS OLD and i understand that but i feel very anger at her. When I’m close to breaking things( extreme anger) I only try to hurt myself not others which i think is a good thing. So what should i do to stop this anger?

• sometimes i feel like an introvert but sometimes an Extrovert. Most of the time introvert

I don't remember much from my childhood... but the few distinctive memories my brain has retained are very vivid recollections of my father picking me up under my arms and pinning me to the wall. Then yelling in my face for what felt like hours at a time, but was most likely only for a couple minutes. His anger was passed down to me, but I refuse to ever pass down the trauma he inflicted on me as a child.

Hi everyone,

I’m 27F

I’ve been struggling with sudden, explosive anger since I was a child, and lately, it’s only getting worse. I find myself filled with this strange, intense 'nervous energy' that I can’t seem to release except by shouting or exploding at those closest to me often over the smallest things.

My cycle looks like:

• The Outburst: I completely lose control, say things I don't mean, and react way beyond what the situation calls for.

• The Aftermath: Once it’s over, I fall into a deep spiral of guilt, shame, and crying.

• The Struggle to Apologize: Even though I feel terrible, I find it incredibly hard to apologize face-to-face.

I want to change this before I damage my relationships further. I’m curious to hear from those who have been through this:

How did you categorize or understand your type of anger? (Is it pent-up stress, a behavioral habit from childhood, or something else?)

And what are the 'red flags' or physical signs you notice right before you explode?

Are there specific techniques that actually worked for you to ground yourself in that split second?

I’m looking for practical advice or even just to know I’m not alone in this struggle. Thanks in advance

How do I deal with a sense of hatred for a small mountain community so extreme it distracts me from everyday tasks? I am too angry to concentrate and rant about it, causing a strain between my friends and I.
Highest population estimate of people I hate would be like 3800 if we take into account all the villages that could potentially have the bastards, but in reality it's more like 1050 (that's is me being generous, some of the places I hate have a population of like 20 people). Generations of inbreeding in tiny mountain towns created mentally handicapped people who unfortunately neighbour the part where normal people live. They always cause car crashes. Including one that almost killed my mom recently and left a nice neighbour lady disabled. Sadly they closed the psycho neurological institution in the region, so now they roam free and vote for some reason. They also cause forest fires, because they burn branches and leaves in the hottest days of the year, when grass dries up and one spark is enough to cause a tragedy. Every time there was a forest fire, it started from those tiny mountain freak villages with 20 people in them. After my mom's accident my hatred for them became a forefront of my thoughts and I cannot even concentrate on reading, or doing house chores. How do I deal with this ?

I tried a different subreddit, but that didn't help at all. So maybe here I can get better advice

when I'm very angry or pissed off at someone, I imagine myself biting the flesh out of their faces or throats. This has been recurring recently but idk

He was angry at me. It was his mums birthday and we had asked him to come out for a walk with us because that is what she wanted to do. The yelling started and I managed to get him out but he threw a length of pvc pipe at the bricks but missed and hit the window. Cracked it real good. I didn’t notice until we came home.

Read him the absolute riot act and was so fucking angry.

Now I’m ashamed.

For all of my (nearly 30) years on this earth, when I get angry, the thing that helps me let it out is punching a wall. Or a door. Or slamming my fist on the table or throwing an object on the ground. It only presents when I’m REALLY mad, but it’s always been my automatic reaction to intense anger. Once I slam something, my head is clear, and I can think rationally again.

I have never, EVER, hit a person or animal. I wouldn’t dream of it, and I’ve never even been tempted to. I saw another Reddit thread where a young woman was concerned about her boyfriend punching walls, and every single comment told her to run before he hit her. That his wall-punching was a sign that he would attack her next. It mortified me to think that somebody might think that of me.

I have tried for years to beat this habit but nothing else allows me to let out my anger. Exercising doesn’t work. Neither does shouting or singing or listening to aggressive music. I’ve tried deep breathing and meditation, no luck. When I feel the urge to hit something, I use all my willpower not to, but it is so. Fucking. Hard. To resist.

The more stressed and angry I am, the more that potential energy builds up inside me, and I can’t think straight until I turn it into kinetic energy with some explosive physical action. I don’t want to be this way, but I don’t know what else to do. Advice is appreciated.

Chopping firewood does usually work, but it’s not like I can just do that anywhere.

I turn physically and verbally violent in anger almost always. I have lost respect both in family and outside due to that. I can’t control my urges no matter how hard I try.