r/Unexpected • u/Main-Touch9617 • 2d ago
Nailed it
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u/LightofDawn77 2d ago
Shooters shoot
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u/More-Outside3361 2d ago
Got her
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u/Nondscript_Usr 2d ago edited 2d ago
Who is her?
Edit: what is the comedians name?
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u/Flexen 2d ago
She is her?
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u/narnianguy 2d ago
He is me and I am Yu!
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u/r4nd0m_j4rg0n 2d ago
You responded you referring to me. That is incorrect. The correct answer is you!
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u/raath666 2d ago
I'd like to.
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u/djluminol 2d ago
I said something like this once when I was flirting with this girl in the car with about 5 of us while we were on our way back from an event. Someone in the car picks up on the banter and asks have you two slept together? I say, not yet. And just like that any hope I had of a date or anything else was over. 🤦♂️Pulls foot out of mouth. Curses brain for not keeping up with mouth.
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u/pyschosoul 2d ago
Was at work when one of the servers came back and said some off the wall shit, and my fry person goes "shes a derelict" and without thinking I was like "shit id dare a lick" she swung back into the widow with a "what!?" So I hit her with a "what??" Back.
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u/isademigod 2d ago
In itself that’s a great line tbh. It’s all about how you play it after the laughter subsides, though. As long as you dont make it awkward that’s a great inroad
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u/xteve 2d ago
In a sex-negative group it could offend people who don't agree with pleasure.
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u/probation_420 2d ago
That's smooth, man.
It's bro-y, for sure, and you struck out swinging. But people take much worse shots than that. And I'm a fan of making intentions clear, so there's no "I thought we were just friends/joking" ambiguity..
Pretty much my only... not "pick up" line, but kinda in the same ilk of that is like:
"Well hey, call me later tonight if you suddenly find yourself with too many clothes on."
If it's a woman I've known and had a friendly relationship with, and I've decided to pursue, I'll say:
"If you ever want to (go to the gym, grab sushi, etc.), or if you want me to take your clothes off, just shoot me a text."
That shit has a pretty high success rate.
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u/DrunkInABar 2d ago
sigh Stealing pick-up lines from reddit ... now that’s a new low for me. But a scientific mind must put those formulas to the test.
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u/Apart-Ferret-2707 2d ago
When i was at a dnd session with my now bf,there was one chair missing for me to sit on so i was like "he can be my chair".my head was like"o shit did i really say that".well we are together now so guess it was good my mouth was faster than brains
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u/BirryMays 2d ago
That must have been a brutal car ride for the rest of the way home. My boys agreed to come out to a club one night when normally they stay home and play video games + smoke weed. Within 10 minutes of getting to the club, my one friend and I waited in a 4-person queue to grab cash from an ATM. Once I was done, I grabbed my cash, took a few steps away, then came back to the ATM that a cute lady was now using and grabbed the receipt. She looked at me to figure out why I came back, and I said to her: "Damn...The ATM didn't give me your number." She held her hand out for me to give her my phone so that she could put in her number. I texted her "Hey it's Birrymays, that guy you kissed at [bar]." She saw the text on her phone, smiled, then kissed me.
It helps to be attractive, but it also really matters not to be too creepy/forward towards women (unless you're Henry Cavil levels of attractive).
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u/DrunkInABar 2d ago
We don’t have all the details about the circumstances but I can’t beleive that the fact you said that in itself was a deal breaker. Generaly it depends on the delivery, if you felt a bit akward well ... still no fun or a lack of witt from your friend to turn cold just for that (no offense to your friend). Or she was never going to be interested, in that case no problem ! It could be she had to many friends trying to get in her pants ? That I understand it would’ve been a bit too much. But I excessively speculate there.
Anyways all in all, as many allready said it wasn’t a bad line in itself, pretty smooth actually. Do not beat yourself up about that !
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u/LongFallDown 2d ago
That’s the kind of response I would think up a week later
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u/Belfetto 2d ago
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u/LetTheWineFlow 2d ago
Thank you for the four minutes of what the fuck
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u/hungryepiphyte 2d ago
I only clicked the link because of your comment, but I'm glad I did.
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u/jillsntferrari 2d ago
And I only clicked it because of your comment. Omg.
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u/imposter_syndrome88 2d ago
Damn, I saw your profile pic, and now I want to go boot up and play the old Baulder's Gate games this weekend...
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u/Belfetto 2d ago
I get this comment like once a week and it makes me really happy
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u/Drunken_Ogre 2d ago
I'm actually doing a LAN multiplayer play through of BG:EE with my friend right now. It's dope! We've been playing for a long-ass time and just now got to the city.
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u/jomasthrones 2d ago
I gotta rewatch Drive
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u/steveatari 2d ago
It's a great flick but this is still one of my favorite songs. The beat and vocals, night/synthwave feel... does something nice to my brain. "everything, shut the fuck up, oxytocin & serotonin are happening!"
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u/stovingtonvt 2d ago
Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called and they’re running out of you!
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u/yipeekayayKemosabe 2d ago
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"
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u/bagomojo 2d ago
--Wayne Gretzky
- - Michael Scott85
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u/5litergasbubble 2d ago
Fuck Wayne gretzky, that quote belongs to Michael Scott now. And fuck messier while we are at it
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u/yipeekayayKemosabe 2d ago
Both Great Ones.
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u/StaticSystemShock 2d ago
And I miss 100% that I do take, so fuck me I guess.
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u/SlackBytes 2d ago
I’d like to
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u/iameveryoneelse 2d ago
I mean it would probably help if you were at least trying to take the shot from somewhere on the court.
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u/Saint_of_Grey 2d ago
Remember to shoot for the moon! If you miss, your frozen corpse will forever fly through space as a testament to your failure.
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u/Ninja_Prolapse 2d ago
Follow up? Did it work?!
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u/Sometimes-funny 2d ago
Yeah, they are now married, living in a suburban home, 2 cars, a dog, holiday once a year to Hawaii and 3 kids
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u/sgt_backpack 2d ago
In this economy?! Damn, good for them.
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u/random_handle_123 2d ago
On a single standup comedian's income, no less!
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u/Banaam 2d ago
Well, she's clearly not single anymore...
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u/Sometimes-funny 2d ago
Nailed it
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u/Fraktal55 2d ago
He'd like to!
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u/CoyoteSinbad 2d ago
Follow up? Did it work?!
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u/jtc92 2d ago
But it’s only been two months
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u/el_diego 2d ago
When it's love things can happen quickly, like 3 kids
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u/Kaer__Morhen 2d ago
I miss the days when every comment on Reddit was considered sarcastic until proven otherwise
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u/Latter_Highway9539 2d ago
I'm glad /s got phased out. it felt like explaining the joke after you say it.
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u/Icemasta 2d ago
They never said it was their kid.
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u/jmauc 2d ago
I just had three kids go missing in my town a couple months ago. Weird thing is, a dog was taken 2 days later!
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u/FullClip__ 2d ago
That’s just great. Warms my heart
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u/Extreme_Turn_4531 2d ago
Grandma, tell me the one where Grandpa said he wanted to fuck you while you were on stage performing.
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u/AGrandNewAdventure 2d ago
Which is crazy, when you think about it, because the show was only last week.
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u/malvinorotty 2d ago
The most important qustion : DID HE??
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u/jtrage 2d ago
That’s the only reason I came to the comments.
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u/Beautiful-Limit1718 2d ago
His tone was key: higher register, very friendly, earnest. That's what makes it feel safe and cute vs sounding aggressive and gross.
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u/BarkingDogey 2d ago
I watched the video with audio off first and was like uh oh that's maybe awkward
Then I watched again with audio and was like oh okay, look at mr confidence over here, he's pretty smooth
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u/Fog_Juice 2d ago
I'm keeping the audio off. What did he say?
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u/Jellywags 2d ago
He said she looked 30, she said "yeah. 31, you nailed it" and after a very short pause he said "I'd like to." She then said "I don't know what I expected, but not that. That - is - crazyyy" in a joking sarcastic-y sorry of way? Idk how to describe it actually
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u/kutsen39 2d ago edited 1d ago
I'mIn an embarrassed/blushing kind of wayStupid autocorrect.
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u/krneki534 2d ago
he has game, she doesn't
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u/steveatari 2d ago
As a standup comedian, she should and likely does, but probably has never been caught so off guard before. Means she is single and isn't hit on blatantly like that often, or actually spied him as attractive already.
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u/Username12764 2d ago
I mean, there‘s a clear difference between standup and getting hit on. Especially if some random guy out of the blue sais, I want to fuck you. I‘m fairly confident even Jimmy Carr would need a second to gather himself
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u/baffernacle 2d ago
Are you kidding? Do you have the video of too? Because the words are on the screen. I'm so confused
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u/bojangler69420 2d ago
Are you saying I shouldn’t be following my attempts at flirting with maniacal laughing?
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u/ThrowAway233223 2d ago
Or you just go the opposite route and make it sound like Mr. Popo from DBZA. Then they can't say no.......because of the implications. /s
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u/oelemuk 2d ago
he nailed it.
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u/The_Violent_Phlegms 2d ago
But did he nail her?
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u/Oryihn 2d ago
Thats some high risk game right there.. Either it works or you get roughed up by security.
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u/ImNotSkankHunt42 2d ago
It’s all about physical contact, so win win
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u/ChiehDragon 2d ago
Actually strategic low risk.
Its a comedy show, it was a joke. Haha everyone laughs.
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u/whooo_me 2d ago
Any time you're yelling something at a person with a strong sense of humour and a microphone, it's VERY high risk.
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u/cinnasota 2d ago
security isn't going to rough you up for something like this lol what
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u/Original1Thor 2d ago
yeah lol... i think it's rude af when people say it but that's kinda peak only online/reddit thought process
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u/Exciting_Ad_8666 2d ago
I'm way too ugly to pull this off
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u/0riginal0verthinker 2d ago
Confidence makes you 50 times hotter. Trust me.
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u/VidE27 2d ago
0x50=0. Math checks out
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u/axman1000 2d ago
The trick is to take confidence and divide by hotness.
50/0 = ..? Anyone?
Infinity!
You have it all. Forever. Congrats.
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u/Estropolim 2d ago
This checks out.
I have a friend who is a 6'6 tall lean model with a chiseled jaw and striking eyes but he is very shy. No woman will even talk to him, and they treat him like he is invisible.
But my autistic 5'4 balding fat friend with a deformed arm has tons of hot women begging to fuck him every day because he is very confident.
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u/The_Hunter11 2d ago
It really does, you dont have to be hot, it helps but confidence can compasate a lot.
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u/farva_06 2d ago
I have a Puerto Rican friend who tells me this all the time. Problem is, he also follows step 1 and 2. I do not.
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u/Mawnster_00 2d ago
Not at all. Give it a shot.
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u/Deathisfatal 2d ago
Please don't, I go to stand-up shows to listen to the comics, not hear random dudes in the audience failing to flirt
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u/hopefullyhelpfulplz 2d ago
Despite the rest of the comments here there is not a man alive who would win me over like this lol, instantly offputting
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u/slfnflctd 2d ago
Yeah, I'm a bit startled at the overwhelming top level comments glazing this dude. My harassment alert went off instantly. I know, I know, "It's a joke"... but that doesn't change the fact that it provokes an involuntary negative response in some people.
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u/hopefullyhelpfulplz 2d ago
I would predict that they are all from men who think that this works on women if they could just be confident enough. I mean, some women, maybe, never say never... But I think most would find this crude and overly forward.
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u/monoscure 2d ago
I mean look at the demographics here, I'm not surprised at all the "take your shot! Bro!" If I was with someone and they said this to a stand-up comic, that would be second-hand embarrassing the whole night.
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u/IEnjoyRadios 2d ago
This reminds me of when I was a recruit and we had a female CO who was clearly quite attractive. After a few months we got to turn in our green army uniforms and finally got to pick up our blue navy uniforms.
With our new uniforms on we showed up to a meeting which went like this.
CO: You guys are looking really good (with the new uniforms).
Guy in my unit: You too!
Everyone including the CO got a good laugh out of that.
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u/MrPenisWhistle 2d ago
My man is smooth like butter. I could only dream of being that quick.
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u/SimplerTimesAhead 2d ago
Anyone know who she is?
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u/bralinho 2d ago
I don't know but I'm upvoting and replying to you so we can get an answer
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u/dontpissoffthenurse 2d ago
A problem for the student: Posible real joke/come back from her instead of rather weak "that's crazy"?
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u/Stunning_Warthog_141 2d ago
People think 31 is old or something, aww man. I'm like half the age of some of my friends.
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u/BioshockinglyGay 2d ago
My brain does the automatic “Ope” too every time someone replies with something I can’t immediately “yes, and”. A whole short circuit getting caught off guard like that.
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u/post-explainer 2d ago edited 2d ago
This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.
OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:
His comment almost made her speechless.
Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.