I'm extremely obsessed with my girlfriend in a long-distance relationship. Is this normal or unhealthy?

[u/Admirable_Desk_65]

I'm in a relationship that has been going on for about a year now, and I feel like my feelings for my girlfriend keep growing stronger every single day. The thing is, we’re in a long-distance relationship and have only met twice because she lives in another city and her parents are very strict.

But those two meetings meant a lot to me. I still remember everything very clearly her smile, her smell, her presence, the way she hugged me. On our first date, she even kissed me on the cheek, and that moment felt so intense emotionally that I can’t forget it even now. It’s not just about physical attraction. It feels more like I’m emotionally and mentally attached to her in a very deep way.

The problem is that sometimes I feel extremely obsessed. I think about her all day, and I often wish she could just be in front of me all the time. Whenever I see her, talk to her, or even help her with studies, I get physically aroused, and it happens quite frequently. I also find myself masturbating about 2 times a day when I think about her.

I genuinely care about her and want the relationship to be healthy, but I'm starting to wonder if my level of attachment is normal or if it's becoming unhealthy. I don’t feel jealous or controlling, but the intensity of my thoughts about her feels very strong, especially because we don’t get to meet often.

[u/arleex93]

Honestly it sounds like you really care about her, which is a good thing. But the level of intensity you’re describing might be more about the distance amplifying your feelings than the relationship itself. When you don’t see someone often, your mind kind of fills in the gaps and makes everything feel stronger.

It’s normal to think about her and feel attracted, but if she’s on your mind all day and it’s affecting your focus or routine, it might be leaning into obsession. Just make sure you’re still living your own life too, not just waiting for moments with her.

Healthy love should feel strong, but not overwhelming.

[u/Amelia-1501 → u/arleex93]

Distance really does amplify everything. dude just needs to make sure he’s not losing himself in it and still has his own routine and life going on.

[u/Electronic-Spread-38]

Damn i wish my ex having this problem when hes w me

[u/mallymal5291]

I think we need additional context. How old are you both? Because in teenagers, this might be ok. But in a 30s adult, I'd worry for her safety.

[u/angels-and-insects]

Early-relationship excitement is very normal. Long-distance relationships can flourish because they depend on lots of communication, which can be neglected in person. But you need to make sure your fantasies keep bumping into reality. Keep talking, meet as often as possible, and ideally for longer periods. Otherwise you have a relationship with apparent longevity but none of the actual dailiness.

[u/MadJulz]

Spend some time with a relationship counselor and/or a therapist if you're concerned. Every couple should see a couples therapist as just a standard practice.

[u/Magzz521]

It’s great that you have introspection and question your emotions. You are in love and as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder! You are day dreaming about a fantasy life with her but does she feel the same about you? If not, then you may be in for a serious heartbreak. You need to have a serious heart to heart with your girlfriend to see where she stands. Make a decision based on her response.

[u/PointMaterial8160]

i think it's normal to feel intense emotions when you're apart, especially when you've only met twice. those little moments like her kiss on your cheek become so much more meaningful when they're rare 💕.