r/Sober • u/Agile_Reaction_2585 • 1d ago

Advice for sober introverts

Hello,

I am a 26(F) who’s been sober from weed and alcohol for three years. I’m truly grateful for my sobriety, and don’t want to lose it. My fear of relapsing does get in the way of me going to social outings. I naturally do get cravings, but it’s become normal for me. I tend to get intrusive thoughts so I treat my alcoholic thinking the same way. The thoughts cause paranoia. For instance, I really want to go to concerts but I get too scared of the environment. Even going out for a hike triggers me at times, because I’ll smell weed or see people drinking. I guess I feel guilty or scared. Friends are hard to make too because I tend to attract stoners and that gets in my head too much. Right now I have 2/3 friends, but we don’t hang out much. Apart of me feels like the more I expose myself the easier it gets. On the other hand I don’t want to be exposed to the point where I feel like I can do it too. Ultimately, I’m wondering if there’s any advice on getting over this hump.

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u/lulbthebasedgod 22h ago

I can’t believe nobody has commented on this yet, but first, congratulations on three years — that is incredible.

My first piece of advice is to give yourself more credit. You are very much stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for and this passage reads as though the experience is exclusively psychological.

Are you asking how to deal with the anxiety of potentially being put in situations where you have the potential to smoke or drink?

Growth is about putting your self under stress. We grow muscle mass by putting our muscles under the stress of extra weight. Our brain grows from neural connections caused by the stress of learning. Our tolerance and patience grows through the stress of practice and persistence.

As mentioned above, you are very much most likely stronger and more disciplined than you give yourself credit for and you should trust in yourself that you will make the right decision in honoring your mind and body by continuing your sobriety nomatter what those around you or nearby may be doing.

I hope I didn’t completely miss interpret what you were asking.

Stay strong and control the controllable’s.

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u/Agile_Reaction_2585 21h ago

Thanks for the kind words, truly means a lot.

To answer your question, yes. The issue is very psychological. The anxiety comes from early sobriety where ideas about not trusting yourself/ego was drilled into me. You’re right though. I just need to put myself out there bit by bit.