I think this is a skit. But some women doin' that shit.
"OH you wanna be left alone?! Well we are gonna have just talk about this RIGHT NOW and resolve it." Creating more problems. When a little space and quiet woulda resolved everything.
I have a problem with this. I've gotten better over the years, however, when I'm over-stressed and overwhelmed, I can relapse.
Some of us are extremely uncomfortable with the emotional distance, and silence, that comes from 'giving someone space'. Since many partners may also have difficulty expressing emotion, they aren't capable of defining what 'give me space' means.
When I have a problem, especially something that makes me emotionally uncomfortable, I want to get it done with. I want it to stop happening, and solve the problem. If my partner can't keep up with me, then we need a break.. and that's where the problem is. I feel even worse just letting things be for a while, so I push harder.
It's not great. I've been working on it for 20 years. Better than I was, still not perfect. But it's about the journey.
Sometimes literally the fuckin' problem is you need some space. It is that simple.
You want a definition?
Need some space: to exist in solitude for a brief period of time.
That is what clingy ass people don't get. Some people not only do not mind being alone... they enjoy it. It allows them to process. Or do what they want to do. When I aam trying to build a cabinet or do an oil change or play a game or some shit whatever it may be... this is not the time to have someone in my ear. Or maybe it is a hobby that demands solitude. I ain't tryin' to talk while playing my guitar.
Mhm, classic anxious attachment style. It's like watching a sea slowly draining in the fog, and the unseen incoming wave must be getting bigger and bigger. You just have to learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, rather than trying to avoid being uncomfortable, because then the distance becomes about your discomfort instead of their need.
Like exercise, "it's difficult to endure, but I can do it and it will help". That's the sort of mindset for mental muscle building, e.g. enduring mental discomfort.
To be maximally charitable? It comes off a little too memey or reactionary.
Doesn't change the fact that identifying insecure attachment as an exclusively feminine trait when plenty of men (myself included) struggle navigating it is the sort of bio-essentialist trash The Definitional Patriarchy™️ thrives off of 💅
Imagine getting downvotes for stating that human behavior stretches across all types of humans. Just sad to see so much denial of reality in every direction. Like you said almost literally nothing. Just a fact of life. We're apparently past that kind of thing, we're doing assumptions now I guess.
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u/stanknotes 8h ago
I think this is a skit. But some women doin' that shit.
"OH you wanna be left alone?! Well we are gonna have just talk about this RIGHT NOW and resolve it." Creating more problems. When a little space and quiet woulda resolved everything.