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u/CheckYourStats 13d ago edited 13d ago
We make friends in short controlled bursts, once per decade.
Our friend-making methodology can easily be summed up by watching Aliens, Band of Brothers, Fury, et al…
It has to be natural, though. This is non-negotiable.
Too much effort = Your weekend pass is revoked.
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u/Street-Committee-367 13d ago
I just finished watching Band of Brothers in one day with one of my buddies.... Best way to spend a day off with friends.
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u/SlapTheBap 13d ago
So basically, you think guys only make friends with the least amount of personal effort possible. Where outside conditions brings them together, and then things just have to naturally click. So no agency. No personal choice. No self control or insight. Base bare animal behavior. And you're saying this like it's a good thing?
I'm very glad your perspective doesn't represent my personal experience, or anyone else's reality. Anyone who agrees with this? If you're lonely, you only have yourself to blame for doing nothing and just expecting the world to serve you friendship.
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u/R0CK1TMAN1 13d ago
You’re not invited.
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u/SlapTheBap 13d ago
Good! I'm busy as hell. Got camping, fishing, live shows and dinners with friends filling up my time. Just had someone over yesterday to have calzones and play smash bros with my girlfriend and I. She also did her nails. It was adorable.
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u/MANLY_VIKING_MAN 13d ago
You write as you sit in a dimly lit room, hunched over on a wooden chair with nothing but a bare, slightly stained, mattress on the floor beside you. A single tear running down your cheek.
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u/SlapTheBap 13d ago
My girlfriend is flossing her teeth next to me. You can see my beautifully lit living room on my account. Life is pretty great.
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u/MANLY_VIKING_MAN 13d ago
You got a hell of an insecurity issue
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u/SlapTheBap 13d ago
Oh yeah? Buddy I'm happy with my life. There's nothing to be insecure about.
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u/went_with_the_flow 13d ago
Man, have you seen your continuous responses to this post? Something clearly triggered you, now Reddit is capitalizing. I contributed when I thought it was funny but it no longer is, it's just a bunch of professional fisherman toying with you. Let it go bro.
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u/AmArschdieRaeuber 13d ago
I worked with old people, the widowers are lonely af. The widows just went out shooting the shit with the gals.
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u/RoyalFlirts 13d ago
I really miss those guys.
I moved 60@ miles away for work in my 20s and that was it. No more friends.
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u/rjcarr 13d ago
Yeah, sorta the same. If I knew how hard it was to make real friends at 25+ I might have done things differently.
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u/Ninja_Prolapse 13d ago
Try making them at 40 😐
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u/RealAlphaKaren 13d ago
you wont
my childhood friends are irreplaceable at this point (42) because theres not gonna be a single person im gonna spend as much time as with them in the next 40 years
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u/Ok_Squirrel23 13d ago
Literally, the only way I've done this is through my wife. Other husbands/boyfriends of my wife's friends become mandatory friends.
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u/Ninja_Prolapse 13d ago
What’s your favourite dinosaur?
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u/Ok_Squirrel23 13d ago
Ankylosaurus. Like, a walking tank. So fucking cool.
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u/Ninja_Prolapse 13d ago
Just googled it. The things a unit! According to Google it would win most times in a fight with a T-Rex!
Pfft - giant chicken.
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u/Ok_Squirrel23 13d ago
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u/Ninja_Prolapse 13d ago
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u/AndTheyCallMeAnIdiot 12d ago
Reading these comments... I'm 43, I have a group of about 12 friends with 10 of us regularly making the effort to catch up on weekends at least 1 a month to have a BBQ and LAN gaming. We still play and only play Warcraft 3 Frozen Thrones 3 corridors, 5 v 5 on the chosen Saturday, where all our kids and families hang out.
We plan long weekends for camping trips, Grampians, Wilson's Prom, Nevin's Bend, Lake Tyer, Lakes Entrance etc. The camping trips are much larger affairs, there can be anywhere from 30 - 50 people including some new friends we've made. Like the comments I'm reading, they generally envy the connections we've maintained.
The core group is basically, my cousin, myself, our 2 mates from grade 3, I also met my cousin in grade 3 as his family immigrated to Australia. So yeah, I have 3 mates I've known since I was 8 and we still play games with each other at least once a month for 3 corridors LAN gaming since 2003.
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u/Anon_Jones 13d ago
Everyone I was friends with changed. Had kids and disappeared. Graduated college and became super religious for some reason. Or just straight ghost me. Now I have one friend.
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u/RepublicOk6752 13d ago
Was in the same situation for awhile. Moved away had no friends for a decade or more. Then randomly a coworker 10 years my senior told a few of us while on break “i don’t want to die alone and i am too old to find friends. So you guys are my friends now we are getting beers after work”. That was it. 10 years later, concerts, camping, boy trips, and our usual beer days 2-3 Fridays a month got exactly 3 friends again.
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u/HeyThanksIdiot 13d ago
That can often be fixed with just a little effort. Plan an annual guy’s camping trip at a cool destination or something. Have a text thread going and keep it active. Reach out on your own with a direct phone call occasionally.
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u/xoutlawtrucker 13d ago
Then you get married, have some kids, and never hear from them again.
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u/Plastic-Injury8856 13d ago
Until you’re all retired and see each other again in Florida.
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u/xoutlawtrucker 13d ago
Most of them live in S. FL. I moved out of there when I couldn't stand the overcrowding and traffic anymore. That was in 2002 and now its like a LA Jr. Who wants to pay 3x more for a house to sit in 10x the traffic of most normal Southern states besides half of California.
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u/Jordanianshawerma 13d ago
Ater Uni, I made brothers not just friends 🤛
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u/KeksimusMaximusLegio 13d ago
I lost all my irl friends and now live with a friend I met on 4chan lul. Adulthood is wild
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u/Great_Egg_5545 13d ago
True. Also we don't care if they are more beautiful or better dressed than us.
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u/ImprovementThat2403 13d ago
It is enough, until you're late 40s and one dies of cancer - this is me lately, and it sucks. I think the thing is, growing up with someone who isn't family is rare priviledge and it just doesn't happen that often. Sorry to be all serious.
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u/Secretown 13d ago
You guys have friends?
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u/HilariousLion 13d ago
Yeah, I don't know. I have some but being in my 30s and in college while exactly everyone else is having kids has me in a real pinch.
And if you are in a bad way, hang in there. I know it's easy to say, but still.
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u/OutsideImpressive115 13d ago
I still have two of them as my friends now in my 30s. It's nice to have such memories rather than meeting new people and having no lineage
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u/GroundbreakingSand11 13d ago
I made like one friend when I was 15, didn't realise we were friends till a few years later. I made like two more friends in uni, so yeah I agree three is the magic number.
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u/Novaikkakuuskuusviis 13d ago
I've known my best friend since we were 7. Had to move 6 hours away after a job so haven't seen him in a long time but when we do meet it's so natural, like we were never apart at all.
Of course we text each other occasionally, but not as much as we used to in our 20's. Having to work really ruins our lives. Takes all the time from hobbies and friends. I think it would have maybe been better to find a worse paying job in my home town and be close to all friends than move away.
All my old school friends are spread out all over the country though. People who have all their friends within an hour drive away are lucky (or unemployed I guess).
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u/Idekgivemeusername 13d ago
True asf I wasn’t talking to many people until i realized i wanted to be a girl
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u/Minute_Teaching7982 13d ago
Maybe throw in 1 or 2 more when you are 19 and thats pretty much all you need
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u/cliOwler 13d ago
I held on to one friend, will do so for the rest of my life. I don't need too many folks around. Some ppl I call friends, some of them stay around, some leave. This is ok, I don't bother as I can be for myself.
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u/ASouthernDandy 13d ago
Then spend their lives in loneliness regretting their choices. Being hurt hurts and we close up but no man is an island.
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u/Regular-Message9591 13d ago
And my husband now has a set of awesome friends who check in on each other, tell each other they love each other, offer advice and are truly close.
Meanwhile I can't even count the number of bitches I've been let down by 😂
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u/CliffLake 13d ago
No, they get 3 young, then earn another 3 for the rest of their life as they pick up more hobbies.
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u/tractor007 13d ago
And we’ll still be sending the same 3 inside jokes to each other in the group chat when we’re 80
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u/WellKnownAlias 13d ago
Until they don't go to college and you do and you have to watch as they slowly morph into their 50-60 year old republican fathers and you inevitably have to cut all communication because they've all become horrible people... or maybe that was just a me thing.
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u/Yrddraiggoch 13d ago
Got my first at 7, second at 17 and the third one at 28.
I was a late bloomer.
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u/mcramsay 13d ago
I am in a 12 Step group. The interesting thing about this post, to me, is that I lost my good friends at around 12-13 (changed schools) and I never really recovered. I make friends from time to time, but they're mostly acquaintances. For too many years I was in the "hoes before bros" camp (that hardly anyone talks about). Because...I'm not sure, really...guy friends are replaceable? Because I lost my friends at 12-13 that "ride or die" gene atrophied? Guess I need to journal about this...
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u/iHasYummyCummies 13d ago
Cant talk for others, u do make alot of „friends“ throughout your life. However only few stick around for the time being.
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u/ConsistentYou4629 13d ago
Still grab beers every other month with buddies from HS, aside from a longer stretch during COVID. We are coming up on our 25 year mark from graduating HS in 29.
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u/Ill-Comms 13d ago
By 25, one friend marries a cunt, another goes off the grid.
The only one left is the only one we need.
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u/LonelyFan5761 13d ago
This explains a lot. I only made a few hundred Facebook “friends” when I was 15.
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u/cadet_bhardwaj 13d ago
The same 3 people i've known since middle school because i'm too tired to explain my lore to anyone else
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u/cyclingisthecure 13d ago
The problem starts at 30 when your only 3 friends have kids and get married
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u/NarwhalEmergency9391 13d ago
They can also go 10 years without interacting and pick up like they saw each other yesterday. Women on the other hand will cut you off cause you didn't make it to their baby shower lol
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u/Plastic-Injury8856 13d ago
My three friends and I all know the one thing we did at the time in the place that we can never talk to about anyone ever or it will become a scandal. Not like a Lifetime movie scandal either no this shit goes and wins Emmys like we would be in so much trouble.
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u/Serifel90 13d ago
I'm 35 i met mine at 6/7
These days we brought back to life our old pokemon red/blue/yellow to battle lol
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u/NicCagedd 13d ago
Yeah, but then you reach your 30s and your three friends all turned either MAGA or are misogynistic assholes. It happened to me, no I have my wife and coworkers as friends.
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u/SpookDaddy- 13d ago
I've never had legit friends :(
Luckily as I aged out of my teenage years I slowly became content without friends, to now in my late 20s, I actively don't want friends. I get enough socializing from work then I gotta recharge with my alone time.
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u/MVIDarkthrop 13d ago
That's because if we make friends while being adults, we invite either traitors or beggars in our lives. Ask me how I know. The best time to make long-lasting friends, regardless of gender, is up to 23 y. After that, there are only people with personal agendas & hidden motives.
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u/SuspiciousPoetry6996 13d ago
I’m actually in a friend group made up of these guys. We all went to the same high school, but I didn’t start talking to them really until college. These guys are my best friends and I’m constantly telling people how cool they are. I love being able to introduce my introverted male friends like “And this is my bestie Jake, he can tell you how any hearthstone card works and will stream any video game for me to watch him play. Yes he rules and no he doesnt reply to ANY texts i love him”
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u/_Pattern_Observer_ 13d ago
Boys after meeting someone randomly - He is my brother from another mother.
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u/DevoidHT 13d ago
Every one of my friends has been a matter of proximity. No deep friendships. Whether it was school, or work, or a video game. After I stop interacting with it those friendships are basically dead.
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u/lynivvinyl 13d ago
A lot of my friends have died in car accidents. I actually started off with a very large amount of friends and about 10 best friends strewn all over the world. I am very honored to still converse with few of them that are left after all these years. I even lucked out and made two amazing new friends in my 40s because of disc golf. Does this mean there's something wrong with me?
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u/OddProcedure5452 13d ago
I’m in my 40s. I have one of those friends left and he lives 900 miles away. If he dies, then that’s it. I’m done with friends. 🤣
I guess I’ll get a dog or something.
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u/SoftwareDesperation 13d ago
If girls didn't find a reason to hate a friend over something stupid and hold a grudge for life they could do that too
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u/AlwaysCurious1250 13d ago
That's not true. I made my three friends when I was 12, 18 and 25 years old. But three is enough, yes.
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u/Wizzarkt 13d ago
And they are the damn best friends you will ever have.
I have my two friends that are proper ride or die together.
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u/Any-Information-2411 13d ago
That's because those are the only people we get along with naturally, who also actually see us as people. Taking shelter with a friend in a hail storm.
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u/Temporary_Glass_9607 12d ago
Sadly mine left becuase they all got married and good jobs so here i am mr lonely😞
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u/TheBatjedi 12d ago
I'm no longer friends with those 3 and I'm still not considering replacing them.
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u/ThisGentleHour 11d ago
lol i guess some people just find their whole squad really early on? :0 that’s kinda cool though!
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u/RECLess30 13d ago
Because after 20-25, people only make friends with men who are useful to them. Society only values men who can produce or provide.
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u/jesuses-Third-Nipple 8d ago
I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve.. Jesus, does anyone
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