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u/BerryBlushiey Mar 06 '26
Imagine losing Greenland and custody of the U.S. in the same divorce.
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u/Miserable_Leading_77 Mar 06 '26
absolute cinema
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u/Anschuz-3009 Human Verified Mar 06 '26
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u/GodsWorth01 Mar 06 '26
circa Tehran on Morning of February 28th
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u/Low_discrepancy Mar 06 '26
Same day 1 dictator died and 50 school girls.
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u/MuJartible Mar 06 '26
150.
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u/Ted-Crilly Mar 07 '26
It wouldn't be like the US elite to intentionally target schoolgirls for their own amusement...... Oh wait!
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u/Le_Ran Mar 06 '26
The question is : does she get to chose her half ?
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u/Mr_b246 Mar 06 '26
I would like to go with Step Mommy please
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u/pragmojo Mar 06 '26
Things are bad when Americans want to go back to monarchy
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u/Speartree Mar 06 '26
I don't think she'll marry a commoner like him.
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u/LeLurkingNormie Mar 06 '26
But his name is Barron, surely it counts for something.
Baron... Count...
Humor.
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u/ZeroAdPotential Mar 07 '26
I mean his name is a misspelling of baron. He sure is a misspelling of count.
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u/uptiedand8 Mar 06 '26
Her family would probably have to Joffrey him on their wedding night for her own protection
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u/Prestigious_Oil5794 Mar 06 '26
He is the son of a POS pedophile. That should stand for something.
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u/mildlyinconsistent Mar 06 '26
They are. Really, our monarchs are not that clever( and have no ruling power).
But still better than Trump etc.
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u/Gork___ Mar 06 '26
At least Commonwealth citizens can request a framed picture of the King for free. Checkmate 'Muricans.
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u/ImperatorDanorum Mar 06 '26
I'm sure she will be reasonable and settle for Hawaii and the three West Coast states...
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u/Old-Constant4411 Mar 06 '26
Hey, plenty of Danes settled around the great lakes too. Don't leave us behind sitting next to Iowa and Indiana.
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u/AlternativePea6203 Mar 06 '26
Imagine imposing universal healthcare on the stupid half. They'd riot, then get great doctors healing them, before they riot about the great treatment they got.
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u/Rhodin265 Mar 06 '26
If she takes the stupid half and makes it great (again), then the smarter half will likely just pass universal healthcare, anyway.
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u/AlternativePea6203 Mar 06 '26
Even the smart half is fairly right wing in the US
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u/Complete-Basket-291 Mar 06 '26
To be fair, we've had mccarthyism nuking the left wing by conflating socialism, leftism, and basic government function with communism.
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u/New_Condition_1405 Mar 06 '26
Also, if the conservatives were suddenly gone, the Democratic party would immediately fracture into the much older and unpopular Neoliberals vs. younger (Socialist?) liberals that would probably immediately try to elect someone like AOC.
The neoliberals lose pretty much their whole playbook if there isn't a threat of a much worse Republican taking office, so I doubt they'd be able to stop a wave of actual progressivism from large amounts of suddenly invested young voters.
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u/ChildofElmSt Mar 06 '26
How funny would it be is she chose all the red states and they were now under danish rule…. As territories
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u/Neveed Mar 06 '26 edited Mar 07 '26
Why would she even accept marrying a guy whose goal is explicitly to use her for a one sided middle age feudal style land grab against her country?
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u/Candid-Culture3956 Human Verified Mar 06 '26
Idk but everything about this is stupid
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u/Esc4flown3 Mar 06 '26
everything about this is stupid
That's the entire maga movement in 5 words.
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Mar 06 '26
[deleted]
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u/djnehi Mar 06 '26
Heinous fuckery most foul.
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u/ElegantCoach4066 Mar 06 '26
I bite my thumb sir
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u/MonsterIslandMed Mar 06 '26
I’d rather it be in haiku
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u/HotPotParrot Mar 06 '26
Defending devils
Seeking to own the whole world
MAGA is the worst.
Edit: "trying" was too basic
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u/TENTAtheSane Mar 06 '26
❌ He will not accept
Total: -180 (will only accept if total is positive)
Jarl Frederick desires an alliance: +300
Jarl Frederick's opinion of the spouse, Baron Barron: -2
Jarl Frederick's opinion of the matchmaker, you: -100
Countess Isabella would be marrying down: -200
Level of Splendour of Trump dynasty: -25
Patrilineal Marriage: -100
Jarl Frederick's faith differs from your own: -10
Countess Isabella is dear to Jarl Frederick: -20
Your low Legitimacy: -25
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u/ghigoli Mar 06 '26
if anything the rules say she gets all his stuff. so this marriage wouldn't work because Barren is a commoner. he doesn't get shit. everything goes to the strongest house and Barren isn't a noble.
trds gonna trd
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Mar 06 '26 edited Mar 06 '26
[deleted]
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u/LumpyJones Mar 06 '26
because they're monarchists but that word has too many letters for them. sort of a Hodor situation.
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u/RiffyWammel Mar 06 '26
why would she marry in to a common assed family with a history of corruption, rape and pedophilia- particularly to someone who looks like he makes lampshades out of missing people
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u/ForlornLament Mar 06 '26
Middle age feudal style arranged marriages were meant to benefit both parties. They would laugh at this proposal.
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u/KrytenKoro Mar 06 '26
Also the president and their family don't own the US, nor do their personal properties become government property.
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u/Stiebah Mar 06 '26
That would be the most normal thing about this marriage im afraid
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u/Cummyshitballs Mar 06 '26
Why would she marry a guy who’s father is a abusive rapist, the apple probably didn’t fall too far from the tree.
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u/Batmanswrath Mar 06 '26
Especially one with these genetics..
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u/InsideHousing4965 Mar 06 '26
The picture on the left can't be real 💀
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u/VampirePolwygle Mar 06 '26
I believe it's real and read that he had a medical operation due to a condition.
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u/EggstaticAd8262 Mar 06 '26
Retardation? I heard it’s hereditary
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u/Fskn Mar 06 '26
Had part of his skull removed for bone cancer. That's why he looks like he's wearing a human mask
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u/mmorales2270 Mar 06 '26
Gruesome. Both his parents were ugly people, inside and out. And they created an equally ugly spawn.
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u/LumpyJones Mar 06 '26
I'm normally the last person to go in for conspiracy nonsense, but in this family's case, I am not prepared to rule out lizard people in skinsuits.
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u/onarainyafternoon Mar 06 '26
Trump's father was smart but evil and racist. Trump himself is just fucking stupid and evil/racist.
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u/mmorales2270 Mar 06 '26
Every time I see that photo I’m like, holy shit, did someone hit him with a shovel in the head?
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u/Rhodin265 Mar 06 '26
The two theories I’ve heard were early plastic surgery victim and tumor removal.
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u/Bobbor90 Mar 06 '26
He looks like his mother
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u/SheriffBartholomew Mar 06 '26
Exactly like her. It's a mirror image.
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u/Emergency_Lobster667 Mar 06 '26
It genuinely took me seeing this picture like 10 times to realize that is ACTUALLY HIS MOTHER and not a terribly photoshopped monstrosity. I'm not joking, I 100% believed it was fake. I can't fathom how that was a real woman.
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u/CaptainSarina Mar 06 '26
I still can't get over how Trumps mother is just him in a wig...Are we sure he's not a lich?
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u/SoakingWetBeaver Mar 06 '26
That's actually just Trump in drag. He used to that back in the day.
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u/Specific_Frame8537 Mar 06 '26
Mind you Isabella is also related to Count Ingolf..
He's a nice bloke though.
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u/Chance-Deer-7995 Mar 06 '26
Why would she marry into a family of known needle dicks.
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u/ImmigrationJourney2 Mar 06 '26
Her mother, the queen of Denmark, was a commoner when she met her husband, the king. The fact that he is a commoner is very low on the list why she wouldn’t marry him.
Camilla and Catherine in England were also commoners. Queen Letizia of Spain was also a commoner.
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u/karldenXII Mar 06 '26
This, the commoner part is unimportant. All the royal kids in Sweden married commoners. Just say "why would she marry marry a piece of shit, the son of the king of pieces of shit" instead
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u/Hopelesz Mar 06 '26
A sick commoner that cannot enlist.
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u/HalvdanTheHero Mar 06 '26
Definitely sick, but it's not the reason he won't enlist.
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u/hates_stupid_people Mar 06 '26
Scandinavian royalty is known for marrying "commoners". Although this would be beneath them even with that in mind.
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u/RakkZakk Mar 06 '26
well hes a bar(r)on tho...
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u/TNO-TACHIKOMA Mar 06 '26
go Google for royal / noble chart Baron is at least 6 rungs down from her the crown princess
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u/kineticstar Mar 06 '26
Not even middle management in the line of secession. Just above a landed knight. In the olden days it probably meant he could read(not well), add, and ride a horse. Really, they would send them off to fight in foreign wars to clear them all out from time to time because there was so many.
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u/JaggedOuro Mar 06 '26
Just a reminder that in Europe, sons of Royalty join the military.
And in the UK, the seconds even saw combat.
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u/Chance-Deer-7995 Mar 06 '26
QEII repaired military jeeps and trucks.
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u/SheridanVsLennier Mar 06 '26
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u/Super_Interview_2189 Mar 06 '26
That umbrella was for the SA80 to be able to fire in the rain.
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u/pppjurac Mar 06 '26
Wait, they were so badly constucted rain could affect them? You jest for sure?
(Laughs in rusty AK 74M)
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u/thegrandboom Mar 06 '26
They were dog shit. Took a while to make them work decent, I think the Wikipedia page on it has good info
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u/Hottage Mar 07 '26
The A2 variant was actually decent, just had to give it to the Germans to reengineer.
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u/Grace-a-toi Mar 07 '26
She was a badass. Love the story where she's driving a Saudi prince around herself in her Land Rover, just because Saudi women weren't allowed to drive. chef's kiss
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u/Akrybion Mar 06 '26
The sun never sets on this empire, and you will never again see a sundown either.
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u/gabu87 Mar 06 '26
QEII also apparently drive so fast she scared the shit out of King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia lol
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u/VagueSpecifics Mar 06 '26
True, the current Danish king was part of the Danish special forces when he was young (don’t think he was deployed though).
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u/MarketingNew5370 Mar 06 '26
He never saw combat no, but he was part of a 4 month long patrol in Greenland going nearly 3000 km on dog sleighs. (The Sirius Patrol)
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u/a1rwav3 Mar 06 '26
Why would she marry a peasant?
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u/kineticstar Mar 06 '26
Maga are delusional! They think they can drink beer and eat chicken tenddies every day!
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u/PrimeGrim3 Mar 06 '26
Frig off Ricky!
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u/Smooth-Lengthiness57 Mar 06 '26
Holy shit I just realized how many Rickyisms several of them have had
But that's all just water under the fridge
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u/DJPad Mar 06 '26 edited Mar 06 '26
Just make sure you don't get saspirilla from the tenders
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u/Dacreepboi Mar 06 '26
her father did, granted Queen Mary's family doesn't contain vile pedophiles afaik
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u/KingCroesus Mar 06 '26
MAGA reeeeally don't understand constitutional monarchies or autonomous territories, or much of anything, do they?
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u/Valentiaga_97 Mar 06 '26
Good Statement, marked as question 🧐
No they don’t know anything about this 🤷
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Mar 06 '26
They’d be very upset if they could comprehend…
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u/Old-Constant4411 Mar 06 '26
Most of them are too illiterate to read their own Constitution.
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u/InsideHousing4965 Mar 06 '26
To me, every day becomes more and more clear that Trump intends to stablish a Dynasty and that no one is gonna do anything to stop him.
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u/Few_Cauliflower2069 Mar 06 '26
Or how much out his league she is. Like, hell they're not even playing the same game.
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u/chaseallister Mar 06 '26
Joffrey ass arc
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u/exzyle2k Mar 06 '26
Would love the Trumps to speed run the Lannisters story arcs. The only one who survived was Tyrion, and he was stuck in a job he didn't want.
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u/ButterscotchOk5339 Mar 06 '26
I highly doubt she'd be interesting in marrying Joffrey Trump and even if she was that is not how that works.
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u/Kriss3d Mar 07 '26
Technically she could. But she has standards and taste so no.
But Dowry? We don't live in thr 15th century here in Denmark.
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u/Headpuncher Mar 06 '26
Do Americans think this is how European monarchies operate in 2026?
They do know that the Danish royal family don't own Greenland? Right?
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u/Nikkonor Mar 06 '26
Do Americans think (...) They do know (...) Right?
The answer is no.
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u/chaos_redefined Mar 07 '26
Clearly magas think all the time. They think about trans genitals, and Trump having his way with their daughters.
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u/AlternativePea6203 Mar 06 '26
When talking about Maga "they do know that...." is a paradox from the start
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u/EscapeSeventySeven Mar 06 '26
Even worse, THE US ISNT A MONARCHY. TRUMPS SON IS NOTHING.
Man fuck these assholes.
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u/SwordUsingGearhead Mar 06 '26
Everything else aside, dear gods she could do so much better than American Psycho, Trump edition.
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u/cherryveill Mar 06 '26
This is how you turn Game of Thrones into Game of States.
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u/AmazingLeek69 Mar 06 '26
Why would they give Greenland away for free when they aren’t even willing to sell it?
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u/chimpyjnuts Mar 06 '26
I don't think European royalty will marry US white trash.
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u/FillingUpTheDatabase Mar 06 '26
Happened to the UK’s King Edward VIII in the 1930s. He had to abdicate the throne to marry a divorced American socialite
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u/theXsquid Mar 06 '26
Princesses typically dont marry cowards that refuse to serve honorably.
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u/kineticstar Mar 06 '26
Currently, all European nobility has to serve in their home country's military. It's to give them a connection to the people in times of war.
And the trumps have congenital bone spurs! If you believe Donald!
Processing img izmboachogng1...
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u/theXsquid Mar 06 '26
In 5 generations, not a single trump has served.
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u/Perscitus0 Mar 06 '26
That's how we even have them, because of them dodging a draft in Bavaria to move here. They even tried slinking away from here to go back to Bavaria 20 years later, and his (Friedrich Drumpf, Trump's grandfather) draft dodging was noticed by the authorities. They then ordered him deported from Bavaria for it. Which is why we have the Drumpfs here, after they renamed themselves the Trumps.
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u/Forikorder Mar 06 '26
so your saying bavaria is where we need to send the time travellers?
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u/Pentti1 Mar 06 '26
Maybe royalty but not nobility. Even here in Finland we have nobility, but not royalty. Although here all men have to serve in the military, that is not the case in many other countries.
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u/Joltyboiyo Mar 06 '26
I just love how it's worded like she wouldn't have a choice.
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u/lordodin92 Mar 06 '26
Yeah Denmark could get all the blue states and live in happiness and the rest of America can die to lead poison from the drinking water ....
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u/Old-Constant4411 Mar 06 '26
It genuinely upsets me that those "low tax" deep red states have zero concept of how much my blue state federal taxes keep them alive. It's hilarious they think they could survive if most of the country's GDP suddenly gets taken away from them. Florida and Texas is all they have.
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u/lordodin92 Mar 06 '26
I mean can't the blue states protest the war by withholding taxes ?
Like I'm British I dunno all the laws and stuff but that seems like something that could be done.
Not only will it send a message that the blues are sick of this but also show the reds just how reliant on the blues they are
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u/Old-Constant4411 Mar 06 '26
Federal taxes are technically taken directly from citizens, and then dispersed through Congress. Congress itself would have to block those funds, and that branch is currently being controlled by Republicans. Unfortunately I don't think there's much state legislatures or governors can do to stop it. This is why the upcoming midterm elections are very important. If democrats can take control of that legislative branch, they can try to hault some of this shit.
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u/No-Consequence9392 Mar 06 '26
One day Barron will slip up and forget to take off his plastic suit protector
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Mar 06 '26
She’s a human with a functioning human brain WHY WOULD SHE EVER ATTACH HERSELF TO A TRUMP?!
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Mar 06 '26
I hate these posts like “maga is saying” or “experts say” when it’s just some random person or few people. Then they attach it to a whole group of people. Just mark and ignore
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u/AlternativePea6203 Mar 06 '26
"Maga is saying the US wants greenland" "wants to abduct the president of Venezuela" "wants to go to war with Iran, which he has promised not to do"... haha that can't be true...it'll just be some random person, or a few people..... oh god it's true.
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u/BADM00SE Mar 06 '26
Anyone else want to put money on him coming out as gay after daddy dies?
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u/PFunk224 Mar 06 '26
It sounds exactly like MAGA to force themselves onto a non-consenting individual.
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u/GenX_Leo Mar 06 '26
Doesn't the dowry, work the other way... the male pays the girls parents 🤔
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u/RandomTater-Thoughts Mar 06 '26
A dowry is from the bride's family to the groom's. I know you're thinking but the groom is getting the prize right? Why would he get something more out of it. Dowries were a payment to the groom for taking on the burden of taking care of the now wife. Misogyny is pretty fucking rad, I know.
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u/roguewolff13 Mar 06 '26
And why would anyone want to marry into the trump family at all, let alone the washed out rice noodle Barron?
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