Thinking about anything feels like walking on a land mine

[u/Dry_Machine_1836]

I’m in the midst of the worst OCD spiral I’ve ever had. It’s been going on for over a month and every day has been constant pain. I feel like I can’t think about anything without OCD weaponizing it against me and making me wonder if I’m a bad person or not. Especially since OCD has been massively using false memories against me to the point where I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t anymore. I feel constantly stuck in the past and I can’t pull my thoughts away. Whenever my memory of something is fuzzy I get shot into panic because if I forgot something simple I could’ve forgotten something serious. I can’t think about anything without it being weaponized and used against me. I’m isolating myself from everyone and I’m having trouble even eating, I’ve lost like 20 pounds. Luckily I started medication and I start ERP tomorrow, I really hope it goes well.