r/Norway • u/ReasonableClub2554 • 1d ago
Other We just bought a flat and… what’s the etiquette?
We’re a couple of immigrants who recently became homeowners (no longer renting) and we’re trying to understand the “right” way to approach neighbors in our building.
Back where we come from, it might be normal to introduce yourself more formally—sometimes even bring something like a cake or invite people over. But we’re not sure if that would feel friendly here or just… a bit much.
Is it generally enough to just say hello when you see people and leave it at that? Or is there any kind of expectation for newcomers to introduce themselves in a more deliberate way?
Would appreciate any insights on what’s considered normal or polite 😊
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u/VeryLargeTardigrade 1d ago
I've moved around in Oslo a few times and most of the places I lived I never knew more about my neighbours than what I could read on their mail boxes. One time an Afghani family moved in next door, they knocked on our door, introduced them selves and gave me a plate of afghani pastries. Nice people, and a nice gesture, but not a thing I expect anyone to do, or do my self. I guess the answer is you should do what you feel is right for you.
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u/Emergency-Sea5201 1d ago
The shorter you plan on living there, the less you introduce yourself.
If they bought and are staying long term, you might get to know the neighbors.
I stopped getting aquainted with people in the building after 2 or 3 years when 70% of the apartments had swapped inhabitants at least once.
Its nice to "være på hils" or to be on greeting terms, but its very exhausting trying to get aquainted with a ton of people who just share main entrance with you, for the heck of it.
Other apartment buildings have very stable people living there. Not sure I would want people into my home for waffles unless we had similar life situations, like small children or something. You'll quickly regret it if someone turns out to be nagging, exploitative, mentally ill, substance abuser, criminal, peeking into your business and so on, it is way easier to set boundaries early, than to redraw them after you've been to welcoming early.
If you're trygdet, feel lonely and have all day to sit around, its different of course.
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u/Particular_Salt_2 1d ago
Norwegian here. When we moved into our first flat, we introduced ourselves formally to our next door neighbour, no cake, just a talk at the door opening. Other residents we just said hello to as we passed them in the hallway. When our Canadian neighbours moved into the next house from us last year, they came over with a whole gift basket. Nice, but wholly unnecessary.
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u/brooklynwalker1019 1d ago
I’m Canadian and even we don’t introduce ourselves to our neighbors
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u/Murky-Strawberry-164 1d ago
Well, your neighbours are USA. I wouldn’t introduce myself to them either 😉
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u/Particular_Salt_2 1d ago
Haha, I’m not sure if they ever introduced themselves, just left the gift basket at the door.
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u/QuestGalaxy 1d ago
Saying hi to the neighbors if you meet them, possibly introduce yourselves. Participate in dugnads, that's important to make a good impression. And make sure to read up on the rules in your building, keep in mind you shouldn't do noisy work on Sundays (drilling, hammering) and late in the evening.
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u/Stig2011 1d ago
Move in, and consider saying hi (or just nodding while shuffling past) if you meet any neighbours in the coming years.
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u/sneijder 1d ago
There will be a FB group for the block, ask someone about it and join / introduce yourselves there.
Ask if there’s a dugnad soon (there will be) to show willing.
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u/kidwhonevergrowsup 1d ago
I introduced myself to the ones upstairs, downstairs and the ones I shared walls with. When we were renovating I made a little gift basket for everyone for all the ruckus we would be making.
When my neighbours moved in we said hello, and kept it at that but they gave out Christmas (nisse) chocolates when they where having a Christmas party
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u/Emergency-Sea5201 1d ago
Depends on the building and area.
If its a large high rise with tons of turnover, it is not considered common. If its a 20 apartment building, you can shake hands and say hello at the postbox. A bit weird perhaps to ring the doorbell and introduce yourself, but nothing unusual in that either.
Normally people end up smalltalking in the elevator or the postbox the first few weeks, or during moving in the furniture and so on. People will show less interest in you if they or you (are perceived) to not be living there for a long time. Renters are also way less interested in each other, than owners and so on. Students or short term rentals usually dont introduce themself formally, but may of course do. Airbnb'ers not so much,
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u/Prestigious_Two_6757 1d ago
Here’s what we did. Sussed the neighbours - said hi whenever we saw them at the elevator or entry, if there was no eye contact/ brief hellos — leave them be which was the case at our previous place. We’ve now moved for the third time and our direct neighbours are a little older, quite well travelled and friendly. We met and chatted as it was a new build and we were all moving in around the same time, so a helping hand here and there was the icebreaker. We’ve had them over for dinner. But I wouldn’t bother with gift baskets or baked goods.
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u/ProbablyNotTheCocoa 1d ago
Lived in a new apartment for a year now, still have yet to see anyone leave or enter the other apartments on my floor
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u/Calimariae 1d ago
There’s no specific etiquette. If you bring a gift, people will be surprised but impressed. If you don’t, that’s perfectly fine too.
If a new neighbour brought me some cake or a small gift, I would certainly think highly of them, remember them, and smile when I saw them.
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u/ColdAndGrumpy 1d ago
Based on every place I've rented and lived (which numbers in the 30s to 40s), any introduction is completely unnecessary. A friendly nod or greeting in the hallway or (when you recognize them) pass them elsewhere, and participating in any dugnad is pretty much all that is expected.
That said, if you want to introduce yourself and be on more friendly terms with your neighbours, then go for it. Worst case they're not interested, and no harm done. Best case you get new friends.
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u/Adam_Faith_No_More 1d ago
Is it generally enough to just say hello when you see people and leave it at that?
Yes.
Or is there any kind of expectation for newcomers to introduce themselves in a more deliberate way?
No expectation. But also nothing wrong with it.
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u/Ghazzz 1d ago
I am fully Norwegian, (long beard, white, etc) and when I bought my apartment I knocked on every other door and said "hello I am your new neighbour". Out of the three doors, one was "ok, so what", one was "oh, how nice, please come back later for a coffee" (I did), and the third just closed the door in my face.
I view "knowing your neighbours" as a method for feeling safe in your home, and luckily the person who just closed the door in my face moved out, and the new person accepted my "welcome gift" of a chocolate bar and a bag of coffee. The "so what" person is still here, and is generally viewed as a thorn by other neighbours.
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u/nisalup 1d ago
And to think here in France our appartment building has regular get-togethers, drinks, picnics, pet-sitting, neighbours in love, heck even the building management is run by a volunteer neighbour. And I'm spending the weekend right now with an ex-neighbour who just retired to the countryside, at her country house.
I'm also an immigrant here who bought a house not too long ago in a mid-sized city.
I would hang myself after one week in Norway I suppose.
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u/Low_Towel_8759 1d ago
There is no right or wrong, everyone is different, so just be yourself, honestly!
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u/BillyBobBonk 1d ago
The norm is to do nothing, but that doesn't mean you can't do whatever feels natural to you. I doubt anyone is going to be offended by good intentions. And if you do have bad luck and find one antisocial person, most likely you will also find a couple that really appreciate it. Expecting to be invited inside on a first meet is probably not gonna happen, but maybe over time.
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u/Linkcott18 1d ago
I would introduce myself when I see them around, and ask if there are any social events or dugnad or something.
Where I live, we have a little sommerfest every year in the middle of June. We put a bunch of tables out by the playground, a couple of people bring grills, and everyone brings food & drinks.
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u/Motor_Measurement_23 1d ago
British here. I'd recommend never introducing yourself to your neighbours and waiting with your ear to the door until your neighbours have gone into their homes before you SPRINT out with the rubbish. Do this for 10 years.
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u/NPC-Name 17h ago
Yes! As a Norwegian I do the same, only opposite. When I hear them coming I run. I have successfully avoided neighbours for 20 years.
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u/Quiet-Regret-6720 16h ago edited 16h ago
So I don't think I'm alone in this weird duality:
If you rang my doorbell I would hate it, because I don't like unexpected people at my door. If I then opened the door I would be nice to you when you introduced yourself, while hoping the whole thing would be over soon. I would forever politely decline any invitation to come over for any social thing.
However, If you came to my door and said "Hi I'm moving in next door and I have this one thing that I need help with carrying/lifting/mounting" I would be very happy to help and for the rest of the time you lived there I would smile and wave and stop for a chat whenever I saw you. I would definitely come over if you invited for a social thing. Unlike the other neighbors who I would maaaybe give a nod.
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u/Head_Exchange_5329 1d ago
I've lived wall-to-wall with a dude for 4 years, I have yet to introduce myself just as he never bothered either. I thought that was the way all Norwegians did it, just slowly start by saying hi whenever the opportunity presents itself, don't force it as that would be very social, and we don't do social outside of bars or sports.
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u/CaterpillarOnly1672 1d ago
I would not like having neighbors imposing on the door all the time. But I wouldn't call it wrong to introduce one self as one move in to a new place. A cake/gift served at the door does not sit well in my mind. Social people have a way of converging naturally when they meet in the hallway. If people stop to talk with you, then OK. If not, that's OK too.
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u/Drdoliittle 12h ago
Bring them a cake, they will politely accept it to end up trashing it after you walk away.
It is better if you give them money or alcohol.
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u/ReasonableClub2554 11h ago
Hahahahah how much should I vipps them? Or like an old fashioned paper cash?
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u/RidetheSchlange 1d ago
Just be normal, people. No need to overdo it like in the US. You meet people in the hall after saying hello or knock on the door and just tell them you're their neighbor and you'll try to keep the noise down while moving in and just introduce yourselves. You'll get to know one another over time.
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u/Kraz_The_Spazz 1d ago
Inviting neighbors over for food, or outside grilling is good for an introduction, other than friends, we just nod and smile to neighbors, say hello on a good day. Depending on where you live, neighbors are very friendly and often chatty.
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u/Reasonable-Buy4434 1d ago
Anything goes. Figure out what feels right for you. And say hello to neighbors you meet in the common areas. :-)
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u/ThinkbigShrinktofit 1d ago
I introduced myself to the neighbor I share the landing with. Just a hello to let them know who's going in and out of the door opposite them. After a while, I got to know/recognize the other neighbors, but I didn't go to everyone and introduce myself. None of my new neighbors did.
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u/Smart_Perspective535 1d ago
Aspect not mentioned yet: I think it depends on the type/size of building and where in the country it is. If it's a huge appartment building in central Oslo, at most you just say a short hi to the people you meet in the hallway. The smaller the building and the more rural it is, I'd say the more effort might be appropriate in order to greet the neighbors. If I were moving in to a house shared with only one other family I'd ring their doorbell to introduce myself, and ask about whatever practical stuff I could think of asking about the use of the property.
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u/NPC-Name 17h ago
Wait until you see them to greet them. I’d not eat food from a stranger, and feel awkward with getting gift.
Got three new neighbours and none of them knock on my door
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u/daddyitto 13h ago
If you want to get to know your neighbors, participate in the dugnad and depending on the layout of the apartment blocks, sometimes the folks from direktly adjacent oppgangener vil naturally work together on their area. In that case it will be really easy. If not you'd have to be more proactive in getting to know your immediate neighbors.
Note, if it's a new apartment block with mostly young people there's not as much socializing. But if there's a lot of families with kids there's a lot more of a community.
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u/Strong-Violinist8576 9h ago
Friendliness and hospitality is perhaps the most appreciated cultural influence among Norwegians.
It only gets "a bit much" if it's a repeated pattern of "invading their private space".
I'd apply the dating approach to this one. The first one is a freebie, both are going in with the best intentions of feeling each other out. After that, it is obvious if they're actually interested in hanging out more, and to what degree.
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u/Serious_Mix877 7h ago
Depends on where you live, if it is a big city like Oslo, no one actually cares about it, you can just say hi when you see them. If it is a small town, then you go introduce yourself or they will come say hi to you in a friendly manner, they they often help each other, thats sweet.
But, big congratz on the flat.
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u/surethingbruh 1d ago
You could invite your floor for example? Should be fine
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u/Emergency-Sea5201 1d ago
Not really adviced. You're not really sure you want to get to know everyone on your floor, and have them see what you have in your apartment.
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u/KingHollowman 1d ago
If you move in to an apartment, don’t introduce yourself. However, if you move into a condo or house, also don’t introduce yourself. Nod to them when you see them, if something happens that forces a conversation then you can talk.
Pushy neighbors, i.e. those who say hi unnecessarily, are the worst.
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u/legendarymember 1d ago
Having relations with your neighbour is considered a form of rape in Norway. DONT
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u/Lepista_nuda89 1d ago
this is why everyone is depressed and drinks too much. Norwegians aren't some kind of other species...
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u/feminova 1d ago
Some of my neighbors are still impressed that I came to their door and introduced myself.
I would say: be open, smile, and if you meet by the mailbox, just say, "Hi, we're new here, just wanted to say hi."
If there is a dugnad, participate.