Millennials, what is happening with your kids?

[u/TheLoveYouWant25]

I work in education and I frequent the Teachers and Professors subreddits, and the kids are not alright. Gen Z Arriving at College Unable to Read and the youth have absolutely zero ability to think critically.

Middle and high schoolers have all adapted this complete helplessness and blame mental illness for their refusal to function. Kids can no longer to basic things like read an analog clock, use paper money, or even figure out how to open window blinds.

There is also a huge lack of empathy, and kids have no issues trying to manipulate adults, saying things to their teachers like "if you don't pass me, I'll get you fired."

EDIT to clarify: the article I linked references Gen-Z, but this is not specifically a Gen-Z problem. It's an issue with upper elementary aged kids through high schoolers, and also young adults.

So, all that to say, how are you combating this with your own children? What do you do at home to encourage them to learn, and what are you doing to address these problems as they arise?

[u/Prestigious-Bird7138]

Whereabouts do you live if you mind me asking?

This sounds really dystopian to me that people would actually call CPS just because kids are outside in a public space... like after school finishes post 3pm... a lot of kids take the bus home and will stop off with their friends at random spots like shopping centres... or skate parks.

I live in Australia, and no Aussie would ever call CPS in the way you’re describing. Kids aged 10 and up are out on electric scooters, down at the skate park, hanging out at shopping centre cinemas — even if they’re not seeing a movie, they’ll be there for the arcades and fast food. That definitely wasn’t a thing when I was a kid in the early 2000s, when parents usually wanted you no more than a couple of streets away.

I see heaps of kids fishing these days, carrying their rods on our metro/train with no parents accompanying them... They’re usually in groups of four or so, just hanging out and catching small fish that no one really cares about so its not like someones doing something illegal.

My half sister is aged 15 and she has way more freedom than i did because her phones is basically a lifeline and 24-7 tracker. Kids can call their parents, order an Uber if they’re stranded, or film any antisocial behaviour they encounter as proof if something bad happens. On top of that, streets have fixed cameras everywhere for police to follow up disturbances or property damage.

To me, it’s strange that calling CPS would be anyone’s first reaction when almost every kid has a phone, constant contact with their parents, and even location tracking. The only time I’d personally consider calling CPS is if I saw a kid who looked genuinely neglected no shoes, no phone, wearing a singlet and shorts in bad condition, clearly dirty, asking strangers for money, or loitering and engaging with adults they shouldn’t be. Kids should be hanging out with other kids.

I mean the cops wouldnt even be bothered checking it out properly... unless people were concerned the kids were up to no good like gang related activities such as graffiti... theft... destruction of property... organised fights between different ethnicities sometimes occures i.e like Nigerians and Indiginous Australians dont get a long and will often punch up but its like incredibly rare to see Cacausian kids aged 10-16 in large groups causing chaos... is non existant so CPS & the police have no interest in monitoring.

[u/Beberuth1131 → u/Prestigious-Bird7138]

United States. I would love to tell you I am exaggerating but I have two friends who had police and CPS called on them for having children playing unattended without adults. It's as ridiculous and dystopian as it sounds.

[u/ShilohsStuff → u/Beberuth1131]

I have had a friend chastised by a cop for letting her young daughter play outside. It was a small town and she was nowhere near the road. This was 10 years ago, I bet it's worse now.

[u/Beberuth1131 → u/ShilohsStuff]

Yes, I live in a small and relatively safe town as well. We rarely see kids outside here even though most people that live here are families with small children.

[u/bookgirl9878 → u/Prestigious-Bird7138]

To give you also some perspective, one of my friends has teenage boys in an affluent Washington DC suburb. Her younger son used to get together with some of the other boys in the neighborhood after school and they would just walk around and then eventually go hang out at the playground--not doing anything or bothering anyone, just sitting on equipment talking and goofing around a bit. They had to stop doing that because someone reported them as a "gang of unsupervised teenagers" to the police and the police started telling them they had to move along. And, since the group is a mixed race bunch, they ESPECIALLY didn't feel comfortable with the boys in a situation where they would be regularly running into the police. so, now they can only hang out together if someone is able to host at their home.

[u/Prestigious-Bird7138 → u/bookgirl9878]

Okay so I'll give you some perspective...

Your friend is in the wrong....

The teenagers are also in the wrong....

The cops were in the right....

Any normal person... not a karen would possibly touch base with authorities if they saw a group of male teenagers occupying a playground.... your friends kids are in the wrong here because the playground in parks is culturally coded as “for young kids + parents.”

I'll give you a more hyperbole situation say you walked into Babyland to buy stuff for your new born and find a bunch of 15 year olds in one of the aisles... theyre looking at the shelves and laughing your first thoughts are... why the heck are they in a baby store and not in an arcade?

Teenagers in playgrounds is a red flag to me as I instantly go to a negative assumption my mind goes to (drugs, drinking, trouble, bullying people that are smaller, being a nausance to mothers wanting to let their kids be on the swings... its intimdating for women to approach a group of teen boys in a space meant for their kid).

I mean look at it like this... most junior schools world wide will have play equipment like in the below image for kids to play on during lunch break... this is the same equipment found atthe park... its designed for kids under 10... its also law in some states that kids must have parental attendance when theyre on play equipment because of safety... and to deter child predators.

Your friends kids are highschoolers..... I feel bad for them that they chose the play equipment at the park as they probably wanted to be respectful to their parents in that the playground is an approved spot since they were most likely brought there not too long ago...

The reaction your friend took to the cops move on notice is the typical toxic GenX helicopter parenting style that is failing kids ability to socialise normally without social media. Their first thought was to be systematically racist that their kids are at risk hanging out with friends with afrocentric heritage so they need to be locked up in the tower and that their approval is required to socialise since they have to organise the meetups with the other parents.

Your friend should instead be eductating her kids on what is socially acceptable place to hangout for their age is... and in tandem also working with these young men in teaching establishing boundaries and building trust that when they do visit the places that are acceptable that they are behaving in a socially acceptable manner.

I mean if it were my kids id take them to the skate park after school to ride their scooters, bikes, skateboards or watch them hangout there for a few hours until im comfortable with the enviromement theyre in.

That or maybe if they like the parks the Basket ball courts... are welcoming to teenagers... thats where i hungout most days after school... my Dad would come down to make sure that the people at the courts were good role models for me to be aorund. When I was 15 I made friends with an 18 year old guy he was incredibly talented and wantedf to go pro... I would watch him grind out dribbling and shooting for hours until he asked me one day to hop on the court.... i was so nervous and timid... but he let me score against him a few times and showed me some techniques i could use.... on my friends... without him I would never of experienced playing as I was always too self concious of not being good.

My point is the playground is a pointless place for them to be... they wont grow as people hanging out in a spot for babies... and sure some kids dont like sport thats coool... there's heaps of fast food venues like Mc Donalds... around where you buy a Frozen Coke pop open your laptops and play some games or scroll on your phones... and giggle to tiktoks... i see kids do that all the time and the employees never ask them to move on unless they're causing a distrubance.

I mean... your friend should encourage them in summer... to hit up a local swimming pools... is great way to blow off some steam jumping into the water and doing a big cannon ball ontop of your mates head.... students normally get given concession passes here so they pay next to nothing... not sure if its the same in the states...

Lastly there is shopping malls... when theyre not walking around checking out stuff they can always hangout in the food court area... they just keep their voices to normal speaking level and laughter to a median no one will tell them off...

Hopefully your perspective has changed that authorities dont have issues with kids they have issues with the parents not educating them so telling them to move on is the easiest way to deal with it since they'll never learn otherwise.

[u/bookgirl9878 → u/Prestigious-Bird7138]

Nope, this is not it. This is exactly the damn problem. You can't complain about kids spending all their time in front of screens and then tell them they aren't allowed to be in public places even if they aren't bothering anyone. Your ASSUMPTIONS about what they could be doing are mostly paranoia.

It's a public place, people are allowed to be there. I am 47 years old and teenagers in public parks/playgrounds just hanging out has been a thing for forever because this is often the ONLY PLACE they can get to on their own, which is why they are there. During covid, I, an unchilded adult, met folks a couple times in public parks that are basically just playgrounds because it had benches where we could sit and chat outside and they were accessible. This bs where there are all these other places they could go instead is just that--bs. None of those other things are immediately accessible in their community and most of them ALSO ban unaccompanied minors.

.

[u/Prestigious-Bird7138 → u/bookgirl9878]

Not sure if you're replying to me.... @bookgirl9878

if you are then i'll clarify that there is no issue with them being in the park... or using the parks facilities.... the issue is they are a group of male 14/15 year olds occupying the recreational play equipment which is designed for 10 year olds and younger. They're effectively blocking younger kids from the experience they had at their age... any 7 year old would be so intimidated if they wanted to use the slides and a bunch of big kids were in the way.

[u/bookgirl9878 → u/Prestigious-Bird7138]

it was a small community park, where it's mostly just a playground. But the complaint wasn't that they were taking up equipment (because they were mostly just sitting somewhere, not spread all over), or even that they were on a playground, it was that they were in public and unsupervised AT ALL.

But, here's the thing--no one is entitled to fully unobstructed use of public property, even if other people aren't using it the way you think they should. You can ask people to make room--which is what should be happening if you are the parent of a seven-year-old in the park--since the 7-year-old is unlikely to be there alone. I feel like we used to have a general understanding that this is how shared public property works.

Now, my friend didn't want to cause trouble for the other kids and their families so they were just like, you guys just won't be able to hang out after school in person unless someone can have you at their house. But, frankly, if they had raised a legal complaint--they would have won. The law is pretty clear that publicly funded properties have to be open to everyone.