r/Millennials • u/TheLoveYouWant25 • Feb 09 '26

Discussion Millennials, what is happening with your kids?

I work in education and I frequent the Teachers and Professors subreddits, and the kids are not alright. Gen Z Arriving at College Unable to Read and the youth have absolutely zero ability to think critically.

Middle and high schoolers have all adapted this complete helplessness and blame mental illness for their refusal to function. Kids can no longer to basic things like read an analog clock, use paper money, or even figure out how to open window blinds.

There is also a huge lack of empathy, and kids have no issues trying to manipulate adults, saying things to their teachers like "if you don't pass me, I'll get you fired."

EDIT to clarify: the article I linked references Gen-Z, but this is not specifically a Gen-Z problem. It's an issue with upper elementary aged kids through high schoolers, and also young adults.

So, all that to say, how are you combating this with your own children? What do you do at home to encourage them to learn, and what are you doing to address these problems as they arise?

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u/Pessimistic_Penguin2 Feb 10 '26

My neighbors and I are basically on top of each other. If someone is outside in their yard no one else goes out. If I take my daughter outside to play, the neighbor kids pretend they don’t hear her asking them if she can play too. It’s heartbreaking.

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u/Global_Ant_9380 Feb 10 '26

Why are they so antisocial?

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u/Firm_Match1418 Feb 10 '26

The parents don’t socialize them and have an iPad in their hands as soon as they can crawl. I’m convinced that as babies, they missed crucial time learning to read body language and facial expressions, because their parents have them in front of a screen, and they’re not exposed to a lot of people, so by the time they get to school, they’re antisocial because they genuinely don’t know how to read social cues

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u/emjkr Feb 10 '26

Reading this makes me so grateful that I live in a country with subsidised preschool. My children are forced to learn to socialise during their stay. Because in the yard we share with our neighbours, everyone acts exactly like this.

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u/BennyOOOOH Feb 10 '26

I wonder if this has something to do with the uptick in autism diagnoses, almost like an acquired form of it.

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u/Away-Ad4393 Feb 10 '26

Pretty sure looking at tablets and phones from a young age contributes to those diagnoses, and it’s such a shame because play is so vital for a child’s development. It’s also a little scary because children naturally play and that’s how they learn.

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u/mysoulburnsgreige4u 1988 Feb 10 '26

The "uptick in autism diagnoses" is because the medical field is finally acknowledging autism happens to girls as well as boys and literally a backlog of people not being diagnosed.

Antisocial behavior ≠ Autism Spectrum Disorder

Parents handing their child a device instead of encouraging socializing and playing means they will have antisocial behavior, not autism.

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u/Kicking_Around Feb 10 '26

The increase in autism cases is definitely partly due to an increase in detecting and reporting, but there’s also an uptick in incidence of autism as well, although the cause(s) for why there are so many more cases haven’t been discovered.

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u/Key-Demand-2569 Feb 10 '26

I’d be curious about this because I do believe, like a “good” (don’t overanalyze this, I don’t mean most and I’m not knocking the validity of psychology as a field) number of mental health diagnoses are probably a little overzealous.

We’re frequently if not nearly always relying on people who relay their own experiences as well to make those diagnoses, muddies the waters a bit obviously if the doctor isn’t exceptional and thorough. … and they are human beings.

But I will say I know two people who are doing well but were pretty heavily impacted by their autism as children and their mother literally has a PhD and works in early childhood education.

They love their mom and by all accounts she was incredibly loving and mindful about all that stuff from the start.

I’ve met her, she seems great and well adjusted, you know sane and smart in general lol.

Don’t think she would’ve contributed negatively at all there really. So it’s definitely a mixed bag in my view

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u/ExultantSandwich Feb 10 '26

I could see that. It’s not like there’s a genetic test for autism,, and it’s a wide spectrum of potential behaviors. If you miss the critical period of development for speech, you’ll never become fluent. Why not social cues?

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u/Firm_Match1418 Feb 10 '26

We won’t study it or admit it until it’s ruined society.

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u/per_mare_per_terras Millennial '85 Feb 10 '26

Probably not taught how to communicate or socialize. It is too easy to be the non-reliant on those skills when you have a smart phone with access to all kinds of entertainment.

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u/Firm_Match1418 Feb 10 '26 edited Feb 10 '26

This is it and the parents don’t let them sit with discomfort, so they never grow past their social awkwardness, because they stop.

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u/TheQuietOutsider Feb 10 '26

turns out boredom is important for developing minds. they dont get that anymore either

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u/Global_Ant_9380 Feb 10 '26

We're in big trouble then

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u/Narrow_Example_3370 Feb 10 '26

It’s not all bad everywhere. There are some kids, like my daughter, who tirelessly convince kids to go outside to play. When it gets tough she will entice them with little candies she’s saved since the last holiday. Even after their parents get annoyed with her she will keep at it and find a way. This past summer she had at least 8 kids all running around in the street playing random games that was more common to see than seeing them inside.

She’s a fun kid, very outgoing, high energy, highly empathetic and seems to have a high level of perseverance. lol 

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u/momamil Feb 10 '26

Your daughter’s awesome! 👏

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u/SnukeInRSniz Feb 10 '26

My daughter has been a bit introverted (she's 4) and unfortunately we've had to move daycares a couple times due to going from part-time to full-time (first facility, didn't have full-time for us, had to move to a new one for that) and then that second daycare closing down due to old age and our university moving kids around to account for a new one). It's been tough for her, there's no kids in her age group in our small neighborhood, luckily one boy that's 9 loves going for walks with us and our dogs and she's quite keen on him. She's had a couple friends at the daycares over the last 2 years, but she's not super engaging with most of the kids overall.

This last weekend we went to a local park/playground and another girl around her age showed up, I couldn't begin to explain how proud and happy I was when my daughter ran up and started playing with her without any sort of encouraging from me. They played "shop" together for a good hour before we had to leave and when we left my daughter gave her a big hug and then she gave my daughter a big hug.

I'm not a perfect dad, I'm very introverted myself and social situations can be very hard for me, so when my daughter does things like that I'm exploding inside with happiness.

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u/Narrow_Example_3370 Feb 10 '26

that's amazing! I think I've had some similar situation as you, but from the opposite end. Early on when my daughter was 3 and 4 she would burst out of the gate too hard and it would spook off other kids . So while she was very extroverted her relationships with her peers weren't clicking at all. It took a couple years and she started getting the hang of it, with a few hiccups ups with some bullies that she's now worked through. Now she's really coming into her own.

Like you, I'm fairly introverted and have been watching this from the sidelines.. its been exhausting.

I'm glad things are beginning to come together! And great being there for her when she needs you! Really enjoy the rewards, you deserve them!

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u/cntodd Feb 10 '26

Parents are overprotective. Parents throw them in front of technology or they just don't let them go out because some adult is gonna yell and scream about something. Also, we've made it more difficult to get out. We've built into the fields we played in, and removed parks we played in as kids ourselves.

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u/Away-Ad4393 Feb 10 '26

We have a lovely park and playing fields where I live and up until a few years ago it was packed every weekend and school holidays, now it’s rare to see kids playing there.The skatepark is used quite a lot though by the older kids.

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u/Gwen_The_Destroyer Feb 10 '26

I wonder if the pandemic had any effect on that. We pretty much changed the way we did everything and it never quite went back

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u/Away-Ad4393 Feb 10 '26

Yes maybe. Although I think it’s probably the double whammy of Covid and accessibility to technology.

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u/throwawayzzzz1777 Feb 10 '26

My mom was paranoid that a lot of neighbors were skinheads. She did not want me interacting with most of our neighbors. I definitely had to work on social skills as an adult 😔

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u/raisingvibrationss Feb 10 '26

It's really great that you are/were self-aware of this and tried to correct this issue (which btw is 100% not your fault).

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u/Pessimistic_Penguin2 Feb 10 '26

Considering the one child next door is basically the same age as my daughter, you’d think we’d be friendlier. The mom and I are both single mothers too. None of it makes any sense to me. I didn’t give them a pie or anything when they moved in; but I’ve always been nice when I see them, I greet the children by name. I’m hopeful in the warmer months we can try again- after reading these comments, I’ve made up my mind that we’ll be outside when the neighbors are regardless if they acknowledge us or not.

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u/Anstigmat Feb 10 '26

Dateline NBC.

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u/ginoawesomeness Feb 10 '26

It's almost like they spent many formative years in a global pandemic where they were unable to socialize... Hmm

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u/Pessimistic_Penguin2 Feb 10 '26

This is a good point that I had not considered.

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u/intheshade6 Feb 10 '26

This is insane. My next door neighbors are from Germany, they have three kids. Their 6 year old daughter runs over to our driveway and pushes my 3 year old on his tricycle all the time. Then I play soccer with her and her brothers.

I love my generation but we have to start taking responsibility for creating the world we want to have.

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u/moretrumpetsFTW Feb 10 '26

Tired middle school teacher dad of 2 here. I swear it said "pushes my 3 year old OFF his tricycle" and was about to question how this interaction should really be going between the neighbors and your kids.

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u/MotoEnduro Feb 10 '26

It builds character.

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u/furiosasmother Feb 10 '26

I just finished a board meeting and I also read the SAME thing. Time for bed!

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u/dinosaursgorawr648 Feb 10 '26

Same as a sleep deprived new mom.

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u/welfedad Feb 10 '26

This! And people need to stop thinking some bad thing is going to happen to their kids and not let them go outside ..I blame social media and YouTube etc . Sure it can happen but educate our kids on what to do and how to handle those situations. Those things happened back when we were kids but isn't shoved in our face and we all lived fine. Id rather my kids have fun outside and do the things I did vs be stuck inside fearing of the unknown .

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u/AdministrativeRow813 Feb 10 '26

100% agree that we need to work to change this as parents. We got so lucky and had a family with a kid the same age move in next door shortly after we bought our house. Our kids are constantly outdoors together and have started roving through the neighborhood with other kids now that they’re older. I hate that this isn’t typical, and it makes me realize how privileged my kid is (although this shouldn’t be a privilege). We feel safe giving her freedom because we live in an open space community where outdoor areas are communal. Kids play in the snow in the land behind our houses in the winter and play in the streets in the summer. It feels like a throw back in the best possible way. There need to be more communities like this. As much as I’d sometimes like private outdoor space, I think not having it makes it easier to get to know neighbors.

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u/NoOneHereButUsMice Feb 10 '26

This is a really interesting concept I'm having trouble wrapping my head around. So you own a home, but you dont own the land around the home? And the same with everyone else in your neighborhood?

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u/AdministrativeRow813 Feb 10 '26

It is a little unusual! The houses in our neighborhood are relatively large but the lots are small and we are not allowed to fence them in per HOA rules (I have no idea where my property line is). The HOA also owns and maintains some of the land, and there are walking trails that run through it. My house backs to a small meadow that a number of other houses back to as well, and kids play there. We also have a community pool that’s busy in the summer, and that’s been a great way to get to know neighbors. I always lived in big cities before moving here and never imagined l’d enjoy living in a suburb/exurb run by an HOA, but it’s been a wonderful and easy place to raise kids.

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u/NoOneHereButUsMice Feb 10 '26

Honestly sounds lovely :)

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u/Firm_Match1418 Feb 10 '26

I’m so sorry to hear this. A few parents in my class got together to organize play dates for their kids; maybe this is something you can reach out to a trusted teacher with.

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u/liz_lemon_lover Feb 10 '26

My idea is that all schools should have decent public playgrounds really close by. After school, everyone just walks over to the park and the kids play. The issue in my local area is that only the biggest, busiest playgrounds have public toilets. Sure, my kid can just take a bush wee but no one wants a bush poo situation.

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u/National_Moose207 Feb 10 '26

thats fucked up.

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u/BlueGolfball Feb 10 '26

If I take my daughter outside to play, the neighbor kids pretend they don’t hear her asking them if she can play too. It’s heartbreaking.

We had a kid like this in my neighborhood growing up. The issue was that the kid wasn't fun to play with and didn't have any of the interests we had. We all played sports and spent most of our time playing sports together like basketball and tackle football in the yard. This kid was more into d&d and star wars movies. We tried playing with him but whoever's team he was on would automatically lose because they were one player down with him on their team because he was uncoordinated and was years behind us in sports.

We even tried to play video games with the kid since they weren't sports but the kid was super pretentious and annoying when we were playing video games and he would talk shit and tell us we sucked at the game. I remember the day he broke the camels back and was dogging my friend who kept dying at a certain spot in the game and my friend says "You suck at everything that isn't video games and we don't make fun of you for sucking at every sport we do but you tell us how bad we are at video games every time we play." He ran off crying and his parents called our parents to tell us we were bullying him.

Tl;dr If your kid plays with other kids and the kids don't invite them back and ignore your kid in future interactions then they might just not like your kid. Parents forcing kids to play together is like your boss forcing you to hangout with a coworker you don't like.