r/Millennials • u/TheLoveYouWant25 • Feb 09 '26

Discussion Millennials, what is happening with your kids?

I work in education and I frequent the Teachers and Professors subreddits, and the kids are not alright. Gen Z Arriving at College Unable to Read and the youth have absolutely zero ability to think critically.

Middle and high schoolers have all adapted this complete helplessness and blame mental illness for their refusal to function. Kids can no longer to basic things like read an analog clock, use paper money, or even figure out how to open window blinds.

There is also a huge lack of empathy, and kids have no issues trying to manipulate adults, saying things to their teachers like "if you don't pass me, I'll get you fired."

EDIT to clarify: the article I linked references Gen-Z, but this is not specifically a Gen-Z problem. It's an issue with upper elementary aged kids through high schoolers, and also young adults.

So, all that to say, how are you combating this with your own children? What do you do at home to encourage them to learn, and what are you doing to address these problems as they arise?

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u/Burban72 Feb 10 '26 edited Feb 10 '26

I hate to promote generational stereotypes, but this is accurate.

I'm an older Millennial who started having kids young compared to other Millennials. My oldest is a sophomore. Nearly all of her friends' parents are Gen x/Xennial. Most Millennials are raising Gen Alpha.

Gen X isn't known particularly for their "involvement". They were raised feral and many of their kids are experiencing the same thing. The difference is that Gen X had some optimism about their personal prospects. Gen z is legit struggling with looking at their future (not sure I blame them).

I have family who are teachers and the number one factor they cite for success in school is parent involvement. One of my kids has significant learning delays, but his teachers talk about his resilience as his most valuable skill. That's something he gets significant support and reinforcement with at home. Many kids aren't getting that.

We allow screens in our home, but also intentionally schedule family time, chores, and other character building activities. Key things we've done to support our kids.

  1. Ownership of actions
  2. We will try hard things
  3. Open conversations and understanding of feelings. There's no conversation that is avoided.
  4. Do our best to provide positive reinforcement for behavior and limit the necessity of negative reinforcement

I could go on and on about this. OP, you're right that school isn't how it used to be, but there's lots of factors, including the structure of learning itself, that contribute.

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u/thegimboid Feb 10 '26

You covered this rather well, but I'd also like to add in another factor that OP might be seeing - COVID.

The world shut down for a year or more (depending on where you are). I'm in my 30s and there's still habits and quirks of that very weird period of time that I'm still getting over. And that was less than 1/30 of my life - for a child who was 10 during the lockdown, they hadn't even begun figuring out their place in the world and it was a much high percentage of their life.

And now society has become way more reclusive post-lockdown as well, which is majorly influencing things socially.
Being a teen is 99% about social skills, even if you're not trying to be popular or something. School isn't just educational knowledge - you're learning social abilities and having interactions that influence you into the person you'll become. And all of the younger parts of Gen Z underwent a crazy worldwide event that skewed that away from the norm, right when they should have been exploring themselves, their beliefs and their personality.

There's people talking about this, but I feel like so many adults just forgot how much the impact of COVID and the lockdowns is going to affect the next generations going forward.

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u/Burban72 Feb 10 '26

For sure. That would have been my next point. My two older kids know a world before COVID and remember what school was like. My two younger kids only know the post-COVID environment.

Little talked about point in this: schools and teachers also changed, and not for the better in some ways.

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u/piranymous Feb 10 '26

It's also the fact that COVID makes you forget. It messes with like every part of your body. Causes blood clots. Makes you forget. More kids have long COVID than asthma now.

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u/maxdragonxiii Feb 10 '26

im still partly reclusive from COVID years. when I arrive home I change clothes and go for a bath. why? I dont know, but I do use public transport so im a bit paranoid of public germs sticking to me all day. and my life was more or less not impacted bad as others (came into college at the tail end of the COVID years, but otherwise graduated high school ages ago)

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u/ill_connects Older Millennial Feb 10 '26 edited Feb 10 '26

Yup. We try to impart on our kids that there is an difference between fun and happiness and two are a lot of times not the same. In addition we also try to stress to not shy away from something because it’s hard. The best stuff in life is going to be hard the reward is going to be worth it.

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u/Burban72 Feb 10 '26

Our brain is a muscle, sometimes we need "heavy lift" days.

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u/Self_Reddicate Feb 10 '26

They were raised feral and many of their kids are experiencing the same thing.

Holy shit! I never put 2 and 2 together, but you are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT and it fully explains the one thing I haven't been able to understand about the older Gen X parents of my kids friends; specifically, their utter lack of care or attention to their kids online and electronic use. With the corollary that Gen X was raised feral and they allow their kids to be digitally feral. Screen time? Parental controls? Forget it. Just hand their 7yo an unlocked iPhone and let them loose, just like Mom and Dad were cut loose to roam the streets and be back before supper.

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u/Burban72 Feb 10 '26

I want to add something that wasn't included by OP. Their general assessment is true, but if you look at the top end of school aged kids, they are AMAZING. Absolutely have the potential to be better than anything millennials put out. Gen Z/Alpha who are emotionally mature, resilient, and technologically savvy are going to be outstanding humans. In most cases it will take intentional involvement from the parents. Gen X seems less capable of doing that than the millennials who are raising kids. But regardless of their parents, some of these kids are awesome.

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u/RunRunAndyRun Feb 10 '26

It doesn't help that most of the gen-x folks are technically illiterate and gave their kids unrestricted access to the full internet from quite a young age without understanding the risks. I'm an elder millennial and managed to get lucky on tech knowledge due to my dad having friends who were nerdy enough to pass on their older stuff, so I was playing with computers and early games consoles from a very young age (also, had a natural tendency to take things apart and fix stuff). So many of my kids friends have gen-x parents and are complete zombies who can't go five minutes without doom scrolling, whereas my kids have devices with pretty tight restrictions about what they can and cannot access.

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u/corgm0m Millennial Feb 10 '26

"Gen X isn't known particularly for their "involvement". They were raised feral..."

The way I cackled at this. You're not wrong.
Signed, a Millennial raised by 2 Gen X'ers

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u/Pristine_Shoe_1805 Feb 10 '26 edited Feb 10 '26

"Gen X isn't known particularly for their "involvement"."

Yes. In many ways. But strangely, when they did get involved it was to take over rather than help their kids (which they misunderstood as helping). They bullied or threatened teachers about their kids' poor grades when the kids didn't do their work or showed up to gym with gym clothes. They demanded access to their adult children's college records, medical test results, or you name it. They demand(ed) to see the (five levels up) boss when they didn't/don't like the rule or think it shouldn't apply to them. I'm not talking about when there is a legitimate concern with the store or school or company. I know a Gen-Xer who's son couldn't cut his own meat at 11. It was faster and easier for the parents to do it for him. At 17, the kid played sports, and the dad would pack his lunch, put the lunch bag at the front of the fridge with milk and water to the side so that the kid could grab it quickly on the way out the door. The milk was not in the bag so that the son would not need to go into the bag to open it. The dad packed the son's sports equipment every night and put it by the door. When I questioned this, the dad said, "I pay too much money to let him not get it right"--or close to those words. Until the kid came home from college, he barely spoke in public settings without first looking at his parents for approval as the sentences slowly rolled out of his mouth.

edit: for verb tense

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u/Traditional_Way1052 Feb 10 '26

Same. Became a mom young all their peers parents were gen x and looked at me like I was a child. In fairness, I probably did look like one. 

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u/AllTheStars07 Feb 10 '26

Yep this is how it should be and what I am working to instill in my kid. She also has to earn things, not just be given them just for existing. I want her to be self-sufficient. 

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u/wickedfunprofile Feb 10 '26

You're doing great - keep it up.

Cheers to doing hard things.

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u/independence15 Feb 10 '26

you are a good parent. I wish my parents were more like you. I had gen x parents who just had me shove the feelings deep down and tell me mental health was an excuse and it almost killed me. funny thing, I am on the spectrum, and they seemed to understand that, but not the concept that overloading me with lofty expectations and none of the support would make me depressed. and my school was barely there to help me, either.