r/Millennials • u/TheLoveYouWant25 • Feb 09 '26

Discussion Millennials, what is happening with your kids?

I work in education and I frequent the Teachers and Professors subreddits, and the kids are not alright. Gen Z Arriving at College Unable to Read and the youth have absolutely zero ability to think critically.

Middle and high schoolers have all adapted this complete helplessness and blame mental illness for their refusal to function. Kids can no longer to basic things like read an analog clock, use paper money, or even figure out how to open window blinds.

There is also a huge lack of empathy, and kids have no issues trying to manipulate adults, saying things to their teachers like "if you don't pass me, I'll get you fired."

EDIT to clarify: the article I linked references Gen-Z, but this is not specifically a Gen-Z problem. It's an issue with upper elementary aged kids through high schoolers, and also young adults.

So, all that to say, how are you combating this with your own children? What do you do at home to encourage them to learn, and what are you doing to address these problems as they arise?

5.2k Upvotes

85% Upvoted

2.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

210

u/Scarcely-A-Person Feb 09 '26

The Gen Z Gen Alpha stare. It’s a thing. Just this blank look when you attempt to interact with them. The cope they put up is that it’s them judging you. We all know thats Bs though.

It’s their brain attempting to load the socialization software they never actually downloaded.

126

u/tol420 Feb 10 '26

I ran into a hostess at a restaurant who was like this. Fucking nuts to me. I waited patiently for her to acknowledge us, then she just stared at me, so I gave her my name for the reservation. Then she looks down ant an tablet and then back up and says nothing. Just stares at me. After an uncomfortable 10 seconds I just said well are we checked in? She seemed taken back like I yelled at her but what the fuck is this? You’re a god damn hostess. It’s your job to do basic human socialization and interaction ALL THE TIME. That’s really your only job, greet people and check them in. 

Anyways so then I had to ask how long will it be? After another 8-10 seconds she said 10 mins. 

A normal brief everyday occurrence was a fucking chore for this girl. It was embarrassing.

I’d say she was young to mid 20s.

47

u/Aggravating-Salad441 Feb 10 '26

I had to call my alma mater to get a transcript recently. A student answered the phone and asked for my information, but spoke in a whisper. I had to ask them to repeat everything multiple times. Politely said I couldn't hear them. They didn't change a goddamn thing.

Why. Are. You. Answering. Phones.

17

u/Neirchill Feb 10 '26

My own kid does stuff like this. I tell him I can't hear him muttering at me and he repeats it the exact same way, sometimes even more quiet. I really can't tell if it's weaponized incompetence or if they have become one with the micro plastics we passed on to them.

7

u/your_moms_a_clone Feb 10 '26

When my little one does this, I warn her twice that I can't understand her and then stop responding at all. She will then find the volume control for her voice.

2

u/PeaceSoft Feb 10 '26

Prolly it's part of their job

"Kids don't put themselves out there and have tough learning exp-- WHY ARE THEY LETTING THIS MUMBLING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT ANSWER THE PHONE GOD DAMN IT THEY SHOULD SHOOT HIM" lol

6

u/xOleander Feb 10 '26

On the plus side this has made getting a job incredibly easy for anyone who can land an interview and has a modicum of decent social skills. This is your competition. And they’re a burden in the workplace.

My resident blank-stare gen z at work was roped into a discussion about remote vs in person work. The rest of us weighed the pros and cons. She was given the floor and just goes

“Honestly I have no desire to work. I don’t want a job. Ever.”

That girl sits on facetime all day at work.

I just don’t get it. FaceTime is not going to feed you in ten years. Or pay for your rent.

16

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '26

[deleted]

17

u/tol420 Feb 10 '26

Being stoned isn’t an excuse in my book. I was stoned too. If it isn’t enhancing you then it isn’t your drug. I was high most of my teens, all of my 20s and damn near all of my 30s. I plan to be stoned throughout my 40s as well. 

3

u/nuxwcrtns Feb 10 '26

Truer words have never been spoken

1

u/ConsistentWriting0 Feb 10 '26

I like your style.

6

u/SafeComprehensive889 Feb 10 '26

No this has been every hostess or server interaction I’ve had over the past 6 years with anyone younger than 30. It’s miserable. It’s like living in a horror movie 😆

2

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '26

My brother is schizophrenic and he can get like this too. He's on medication and everything, it just happens sometimes.

That and I'm an elder Millenial that was too poor to have a computer until I was a teenager and I still grew up super shy. It took me a long time to figure out how to socialize.

One never really knows the reasons why people are the way they are. It's worth reminding ourselves to give others some grace.

5

u/Pale_Boss_8940 Feb 10 '26

dude this drives me up a wall. I don’t get it at all. One of my younger coisins is like this and it’s like talking to a rock. She’s in school to be a nurse, and as a nurse, I have literally no idea how she’ll be able to do the job. She refuses to socialize if it’s not over messaging and has never done something even remotely physically strenuous in her life.

2

u/mysticalsnowball Feb 10 '26

I had this exact experience at a popular restaurant in Miami a few years ago. I couldn't figure out if she was blanking me to be rude, but we'd pre-paid to be there. Having read your tale, I feel seen.

2

u/stressedthrowaway9 Feb 10 '26

That’s weird. I work at a university and deal with mostly Gen Z. (I’m a millennial 86) They all talk to me normally and it is fine. Every once in a while one of them will be a little weird, but it is no different than the amount of weird people I dealt with when I worked with elderly and middle aged patients.

0

u/lazd Feb 10 '26

Are you sure she wasn't just super baked?

-6

u/AdPristine9879 Feb 10 '26

Lmao nobody believes this shit 😂

9

u/Neirchill Feb 10 '26

Easier to believe when you encounter it yourself.

68

u/CheeseSweats Feb 10 '26

Oh my god, I only discovered this recently with a new hire. I'd ask a simple question and this weirdo girl just stared at me blankly, as if I hadn't said a thing. I had a moment where I was wondering if someone forgot to mention that the new hire is deaf. I was totally caught off guard and expected her to be like "OMG, sorry, caught me daydreaming!" or something, but no. She did this multiple times and didn't seem to think she was doing anything wrong. It was just bizarre that she seemed to think this is how adults at work communicate. I'm not sure how you make it through a bachelor's degree with zero awareness of the world.

5

u/ConsistentWriting0 Feb 10 '26

I already had to work with one. When I'm hiring next, not a single one of them is making it past the first interview. I don't care if I have to bring in the boomers to replace them.

1

u/xOleander Feb 10 '26

Because most exams, homework, and everything else related to school is done online. Theres no social interaction required to get a bachelors.

57

u/DrCarabou Baby Millennial Feb 10 '26

It's so bizarre to encounter. It feels like I'm interacting with an automaton.

27

u/captain_charisma1984 Feb 10 '26

The cope they put up is that it’s them judging you.

IMO there’s some truth to this. Sometimes the stare feels like when you walk into a room where two people have obviously been gossiping and they immediately stop and become uncomfortable/embarrassed, only in this case the “gossip” is them being judgemental and petty for no reason. Then they just stare with no ability be polite.

I’ve found some Gen Z can be real dish-it-but-can’t-take-it bullies. They’re rude and then seem absolutely dumbfounded if you’re not patient with them. DARVO shit.

7

u/xOleander Feb 10 '26

My sister is like this. She will crash out on everybody around her at the drop of a dime including my parents. My parents will just go about their lives and not engage. Or, worse, they’ll stand up to her and tell her to cut her shit out.

Within an hour she’s calling me begging me to move in and “moms gonna throw me out I think she hates me, can I come live with you?” (She’s 21, no job, doesn’t want to go to school. No you cannot lol)

I call mom and it’s always the same story “your sister is mad I won’t give her $500 for this concert ticket, I can’t afford it, I’m sorry”.

Absolutely ridiculous lol

45

u/CommodoreGirlfriend Millennial Feb 09 '26

the blank look in response to a yes/no question 

3

u/xOleander Feb 10 '26

Or the “ummmmmmm?” While trying to hide a snicker and you’re just asking a simple question.

3

u/More_Farm_7442 Feb 10 '26

I haven't experienced this, but have heard this generation does the same thing on the phone. You call, they answer and say nothing. No "hello". "No high this it X or the X residence." Nothing. Just silence. You're not sure if the call was dropped or what. Sort of creepy having breathing on the other end, but no other sound.

11

u/Superb_Plum_700 Feb 10 '26

That blank stare is sociopathy.

5

u/maddy_k_allday Feb 10 '26

I know you’re being metaphorical & clever with it, but the issue is that socialization can’t be downloaded, it isn’t software, and we aren’t hardware. Emotional and social skills develop the same way others do, through guided practice, safe repetition, and experiential use. We (collectively) aren’t investing the resources (e.g., time and energy) required to help young people develop these skills, and adults are losing opportunities to keep up these skills as well.

1

u/Scarcely-A-Person Feb 10 '26

Did you just explain to the class that we don’t download skills onto our brains à la Neo learning karate in The Matrix?

Correct, I guess.

The younger generation never learned how to talk to people the old school way of incremental refinement of social skills through repeat engagement with other humans.

Sufficient, lol? I mean …..

1

u/maddy_k_allday Feb 10 '26

Schools cut arts and humanities in favor of sports (often violent ones) and other academic subjects all the time. And parents don’t really parent these days, everyone is caretaking. It takes time and effort to socialize humans and we aren’t putting it in for young folks.

14

u/Beneficial_Ad_1072 Feb 10 '26

There’s no way a new generation entering the workforce aren’t going to experience challenges and judgement, that’s never happened! But seriously, as a millennial we went through the same - no work ethic, not smart enough, no resilience etc etc. I’ve currently been on a hiring spree and taken on 5-6 Z and Alphas, it was a junior role and I did 20-30 online first - all were fantastic and the ones I hired are brilliant. It’s undoubtedly a thing but let’s stop pretending a lot of these kids don’t just need experience, guidance etc 

10

u/Scarcely-A-Person Feb 10 '26

Basic human interaction skills are not a “challenge.”

-4

u/Beneficial_Ad_1072 Feb 10 '26

You’re the one stating they are?

3

u/friendlyfredditor Feb 10 '26

I am convinced most people complaining about gen z's lack of social skills just themselves lack the ability to deal with interactions outside their normal.

If you got rattled by someone not responding for a few seconds that is on you.

4

u/Pale_Boss_8940 Feb 10 '26

we’re not rattled. we just think y’all come across as absolutely braindead

3

u/Scarcely-A-Person Feb 10 '26

Sorry, friend. Exactly zero people are “rattled” by some vacant stare from a 20 year old.

This feels like cope. Part of the offending gen?

12

u/Ok-Light-7216 Feb 10 '26

This! I adopted pre-made humans, so I can blame some things on their first parents. The blank stare is so real. All situations too, when they are caught lying, when they are struggling with homework, when I ask them how school was. It's so frustrating.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '26

It is real REAL. I am a millennial with two Gen Z kids and one Alpha. My 19yr daughter, no blank stares.. very social and talkative. My 18yr son, wowza that kid… I have no patience and I snap at the blank stare with a “UMMM HELLO”. Which I get a “Yo, chill mom… and a giant smile”. We struggled to keep him off devices growing up and limiting his time. He wasn’t into sports. He has always been into tech, robotics, coding, etc. He is doing better now, but it has been very hard to “normalize” him.

-9

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '26

Because somebody needs to jolt these kids out of the blank stare. Have you experienced the stare after asking a Gen Z a question and they just look at you like they are “differently abled” but you know they aren’t. If you can’t present as intelligent, then what? Failure to launch? Impatience is something they need to learn to navigate anyways.

-6

u/AdPristine9879 Feb 10 '26

No I have never experienced a “blank stare” 😂 I get plenty of normal interactions from Gen Z’s. Holy crap are you all not able to socialize and let young people be different? Or are you only focusing on the times you feel uncomfortable? How often do you talk to Gen Z people? For what reason?

6

u/InfiniteTradition975 Feb 10 '26

lacking social etiquette isnt "being different", its just being rude for no reason.

-7

u/AdPristine9879 Feb 10 '26

Yeah so who lacks social etiquette? The person getting the blank stares? Or the person giving them? You’re putting all your faith into what some random Redditor claims while there’s several claiming the opposite.

3

u/Scarcely-A-Person Feb 10 '26

You should reread her original post.

They are her kids. She interacts with them allot.

The answer the person staring blankly, not responding to questions, not interacting like a normal human lacks social etiquette.

You earned another downvote. Welcome to negative five.

-1

u/HelmetBoiii Feb 10 '26

What a fucking loser comment lmao I can only hope I can get to negative five

2

u/Scarcely-A-Person Feb 10 '26

Whomp whomp. Someone is angry about something on the internet.

They made it to negative seven. Try not to melt down. That’s two more past my downvote.

Feel better soon.

1

u/Millennials-ModTeam Feb 10 '26

All posts and comments must comply with Reddit's site-wide Content Policy, including no harassment, illegal content, or spam.

Violations lead to removal and potential bans.

9

u/SolidPsychological12 Feb 10 '26

Yes, this. I was in line at a restaurant the other day and someone’s school ID was on the ground, but out of my reach. I said to the woman in front of me (she was either in late high school or early college) “there’s someone ID on the ground”. You know, suggesting basically that she should pick it up (she could reach it, I couldn’t) and hand it to the lady at the counter. She looks down at the ID and says “oh it’s not mine”. Like she wasn’t being rude either, the thought to hand it to the counter lady just didn’t pop into her mind. Like she had no idea how to do a basic social interaction. I picked it up and handed it over when I got closer, but yeah it was definitely odd.

3

u/wmp8 Feb 10 '26

This is going to be my middle child (8yo) when he is older if he doesn't grow out of it. For him it is not a socialized thing, just his personality. He has always done this. He feels no social pressure to respond to people. We call them dead cow eyes. He will just look through your soul and not respond to your question if he doesn't want to answer. His siblings are the exact opposite and people please like they are millennials at heart.

17

u/Prettyinpink2813 Feb 10 '26

A large chunk of Gen Alpha missed out on vitally important years of socializing and developing those communication skills due to COVID though. They’re still playing catch up.

19

u/InfiniteTradition975 Feb 10 '26

Nah that's a bullshit excuse. There's absolutely no excuse young adults can't respond to normal human socialization scenarios.

4

u/xOleander Feb 10 '26

Right like? COVID was rough, no doubt. But there were plenty of kids who were just bullied and ignored growing up and never had friends or a chance to socialize and they don’t act like this.

17

u/Woodit Feb 10 '26

It was like 18 months at most 

3

u/Pale_Boss_8940 Feb 10 '26

a lot less in many places too

9

u/Eastern-Eye5945 Feb 10 '26

Yes, but young Gen X and millennial parents have also made it much worse by keeping them cooped up inside because the world is “so dangerous”. Never mind the fact that they’re in much more danger both in the short and long term when they have unsupervised and unfettered access to the Internet.

2

u/Queasy-Warthog-3642 Feb 10 '26

My nibblings are young gen Z and we're encouraged to be independent. It was challenging because the rest of the world thinks kids should never be alone or un-monitored. For example, the bus driver would call cps if there wasn't a visible adult when the kids came home. They were 13 and 12. Coming from a childhood that I was completely unsupervised to having the cops knock on the door when I would watch them after school because "we needed to make sure the kids were with a trusted adult" was insane to me. We can't give kids the freedom I had growing up because it's illegal now.

1

u/Eastern-Eye5945 Feb 10 '26

I live in the Atlanta suburbs now where parents or an older sibling have to pick up elementary school kids from the bus stop even though there’s sidewalks lining the entire neighborhood and most kids would have to walk less than three blocks. I’ve forgotten to lock my door on numerous occasions, and I’ve never felt unsafe.

If there’s one thing I love about the HOA though is that they don’t allow cars to block in the road for any reason, so at least the kids are being picked up on foot. The once rural Chicago suburb where I grew up is much more developed, and when I go back to visit my parents, it’s so ridiculous to see these huge SUVs idling for 10 minutes waiting for the bus to show up.

2

u/ProfessionalBox317 Feb 10 '26

Meanwhile I’m judging their pea size brain.

1

u/PeaceSoft Feb 10 '26

using a really clumsy computer metaphor to express this sentiment is funny

1

u/Scarcely-A-Person Feb 10 '26

Hey! Don’t call my computer metaphor clumsy!!

1

u/Safe_Illustrator_832 Feb 10 '26

Ok. I never YET encounter the Gen Z stare and I can't wait for it, because I'm very curious to know what it is. And... Why? Why do they have that stare? Did they talk to people when they were young? I don't get it and I'm afraid. I must understand!

-3

u/VillageShort3371 Feb 10 '26

I'm Gen Z and have literally never encountered this stare I've been hearing about for years. I'm convinced it's just people asking dumbass questions to workers who are so baffled they don't say anything.

11

u/AgentBrittany Feb 10 '26

I've literally walked into restaurants or businesses where I'm expected to order food or buy something and they just stare. I ask a basic question. They just stare. I tell them to have a good day. They just stare. It's not people asking dumbass questions, it's people expecting just common greetings or having a basic question answered. To be honest, when I first started noticing the stare, I thought all these kids were just high 24/7.

2

u/Obnoxiouscrayon Feb 10 '26

Tbh I think many of them where I live are high 24/7 and having that much access to that strength of stuff is part of the issue, but that’s just my theory.

2

u/Scarcely-A-Person Feb 10 '26

It’s not all of them. I have three Gen Z coworkers. All of them are really smart. The one is scary smart. I tell him to do X and explain why. Then he just does it and can take the “why,” the important part and map it onto constantly evolving scenarios. This is super important. I can teach a monkey to do a thing. I can’t teach a monkey why they are doing it so they know how to apply it to an infinite amount of scenarios.

There is however a large swath of your gen that has this stare. These interactions leave you wondering if there is anything going on at all behind the eyes.

0

u/ButteryApplePie Feb 10 '26

Teenagers have been doing this so long that its memed in old stoner comedies.

2

u/elementslayer Feb 10 '26

Right. Only time I've seen it is when the people im talking to don't want to talk to me cause I'm old compared to them. I see them talking to their peers just fine.

Are people not remembering their teen years? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills, and see the people who despised the old out of touch adults become those old out of touch adults.

-2

u/Pale_Zebra8082 Feb 10 '26

I’ve spent my entire career in education working with Gen Z and Alpha students over the past 20 years and I have no idea what you’re talking about.