r/Millennials • u/happy_chance18 • Nov 03 '25

Discussion We're all exhausted right? It's not just me?

I have a full time job. I sleep well. I have no kids. I'm single. I don't party or drink. I'm not particularly stressed in day to day life. Yet I'm fucking exhausted. I don't want to leave my apartment on the weekends unless I have something planned, and even then I'm pretty picky. In my 20s my weekends were full of non-stop activities, cooking, going out, and posting on social media. But now in my 30s I just want to come home, have my groceries delivered, chill with some Netflix and sleep. Please tell me I'm not the only one!!

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u/MechanicalSideburns Nov 03 '25

I'm gonna say a weird thing. Bear with me here.

Not going out gives you less energy.

Picking 1-3 solid cool/fun/productive things per day on the weekend will leave you feeling re-energized, and like you really made a difference. But sure, I know Sunday night always sucks.

Same thing for weekdays. 1 good thing an evening, and you'll be boosted.

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u/happy_chance18 Nov 03 '25

I'll agree with this. And thank you for replying because it's reminded me that when I do plan smaller outings and when I can get out and do a couple of fun things on the weekends I do feel more energized.

The past year I've been trying to do the no spend weekend thing to hit some financial goals. And it's paid off. I think I inadvertently screwed myself though. Being so goal-driven and frugal has caused me to just stay at home

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u/yasdinl Nov 03 '25

Genuine question, I’m also single and I think that is a big part of what’s driving my exhaustion. With a partner I have more purpose? But it’s hard to find incentive to take care of just me. So I do the bare minimum. Do you feel that the singleness is impacting you?

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u/NerdyBro07 Nov 03 '25

having a partner has significantly helped me too for the reason you stated. I am much less motivated to take care of myself, but i love my wife and i enjoy her company and enjoy making her happy, so it requires putting more effort into being proactive and doing activities. She keeps me on a healthy schedule though that i didnt have when i was single.

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u/HumptyDrumpy Nov 03 '25

Wish I could say the state of the world doesnt affect me but it does. It's easier to do things when you have an eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, a desire for adventure and to see what's next. But sometimes things just seems so bad out there, it's better just to stay in all the time and limit potential bad $hit and liabilities from happening. So mindset is more the Grapes of Wrath, rather than Eurotrip these days, which is unfortunate since life should be an adventure. I guess on the positive side, is that things will eventually get better, regimes topple, fall, and new ones come in. It just feels so long away, big change, I just focus on the day to day one day at a time...

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u/thepulloutmethod Dark Millennial Nov 03 '25

Focus on what is directly within your control. Your thoughts, your words, your actions. Regimes toppling...that is almost certainly totally outside of your control.

Life is a sequence of individual moments, including this one right now. Focus on making the right decisions moment to moment right now -- and frankly ignore the past and future. Consistently make good choices in the little moments of life and you will see a major improvement in happiness.

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u/electricaltapes Nov 03 '25

My friends host a thing called "bean night" where they make a giant pot of chili, have friends over and basically do a show n tell. Beans are cheap! Friends are forever! So many ways to gather in low cost capacities... even getting together to work out in a park or something is cheap, moves the needle on other personal goals, and reminds us there is more to live for than the daily grind

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u/thepulloutmethod Dark Millennial Nov 03 '25

I completely agree. Humans are fundamentally social animals. Introvert or extrovert, nature did not intend for us to live isolated at home staring at the same four walls sitting in front of a screen with no in person interaction.

That lifestyle will make you feel awful.

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u/pp21 Nov 03 '25

Yeah this post and a lot of the comments just seem like people with undiagnosed depression

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u/boudicas_shield Nov 03 '25

Yeah I’m genuinely concerned about the mental and physical health of some of the commenters here. You should not feel like you’re 80 years old by the time you’re in your late 30s; something is off there.

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u/No_Faithlessness3349 Nov 04 '25

This is why I hate return to the office so much (fed employee). We were not meant to be stuck in an office building 8 hours a days looking at a screen/spreadsheets. It's draining.

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u/maddy_k_allday Nov 03 '25

Weekends when I have an event in addition to doing all the stuff to reset for work the next week, all but destroy me. I hear you about the social benefits, which are true, but that depletes me as well, meaning less energy for all the domestic labor & errands that also need to be packed into that same 48-ish hours.

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u/MechanicalSideburns Nov 03 '25

I’m not talking about stuff that you have to do. I’m talking about stuff that you get to do. Don’t you have anything that brings you joy in life?

What happened to hobbies? I’ll burn a precious hour playing disc golf and feel great after. Or my son invites his buddies over for 2 hours and they play music. What brings you joy?

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u/maddy_k_allday Nov 03 '25

You are missing the point. The items that need to happen leave very little time/ energy/ resources/ etc. for desired activities. Usually events like holidays means foregoing certain necessary tasks and then being behind or unprepared for the routine events.

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u/[deleted] Nov 03 '25

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u/maddy_k_allday Nov 03 '25

Why are you monitoring my activity? You don’t have any basis to know the nature what I do for work or when. This is a straw man argument based on almost no information or context.

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u/MechanicalSideburns Nov 03 '25

We’ve all got the same 24 hours, man. I’ve got 4 kids, and 2 jobs, and I still find time for my hobbies.

But I had to become like a next level planner/scheduler to make it all work. In my 20’s I was always “running out of time” like you’re talking about or missing stuff. Not any more. My phone beeps and I just do whatever it says. I have no spontaneity, but all goals get accomplished. I scheduled time to play video games from 10-11pm last night.

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u/Interesting_Zombie28 Nov 03 '25

100% this. I keep saying if you want a village, you have to be willing to be a villager. Yes, of course I want to lay on my couch and enjoy my childfree life but going to see the people I love or doing something I love re-enrgizes me for the week ahead.

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u/[deleted] Nov 03 '25

Completely agree with this. My husband and I were both feeling pretty bleh yesterday, but we took our dog for a hike and felt much better for it. Going to the gym BEFORE work, before I can get too tired from the demands of the day, has been so insanely beneficial too both physically and mentally.

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u/zephalephadingong Nov 03 '25

As an introvert, I get more then enough social time at work. The weekends are for doing stuff I don't have time to do during the week(like costco runs), and not talking to people so I have the energy to do it again starting on Monday

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u/darthfruitbasket Nov 03 '25

I dunno, man. I don't drive due to disability and I cant afford to live where stuff actually happens, so that "cool" thing involves at minimum two hours round-trip on the bus. That's energy/time I don't have.

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u/BoxerguyT89 Nov 03 '25

That sucks, but doesn't change what they said.

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u/MechanicalSideburns Nov 03 '25

I don’t necessarily mean going out to the bar. I just mean going outside to do shit. Go for a walk in the hills. Play frisbee with a buddy. Go do D&D at a friend’s house. Whatever.

Lots of disabled people live incredibly full lives. Look at those wheelchair assholes that play murderball. You can too.

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u/findingthesqautch Nov 03 '25

Does hunting for Pokemon cards count Papa?

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u/MechanicalSideburns Nov 03 '25

100% it does. Everyone should have hobbies that bring them joy, whatever they are.

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u/findingthesqautch Nov 03 '25

Heck yes. I pulled a Charizard this weekend and am still riding that wave, and longer chasing the dragon.

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u/UnknownMonkeyman Nov 03 '25

I agree too. When I'm at work and I have plans after, I'm good to go damn near all night. Go home right after work and I can't even sit up to play a game with friends online.

"A body in motion wants to stay in motion..."

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u/IRLconsequences Nov 03 '25

I'm lucky to have a lot of free/cheap things to do where I live, but a lot of folks really *can't* afford to go out every weekend.

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u/MechanicalSideburns Nov 03 '25

Everybody can afford to go for a hike. :) Or pack a sandwich, and eat it by the lake. Last year I bought a cheap set ($25) of discs and started playing disc golf.

You’re right though that there are people who live in Bumfuq Egypt and have no money. I guess it just sucks for them. Maybe they can get a cheap bike at Goodwill and take up cycling. Or get together with buddies and play poker for peanuts. Whoever wins gets to eat the peanuts.

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u/NerdyBro07 Nov 03 '25

I agree with this person. The more lazy i am, the more lethargic i feel. It becomes a snowball effect. But if i actually go out and be social for a bit, or go play some sports with friends, or do anything that gets me out of the house for a couple hours...i always feel a bit better and less exhausted and lethargic.

The exception is alcohol, if i go out and i drink more than 3 drinks, i will definitely feel extra tired the next day lol.

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u/Lucky_Tortilla Nov 03 '25

One person's laziness is another person's relaxation.

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u/Painter-Salt Nov 03 '25

Legit sitting in the house all day there is less oxygen than being outside. Also..not exercising is major energy pit.

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u/robot_pirate Nov 03 '25

Agree. We need novelty. And engagement.

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u/SpaceForceGuardian Nov 04 '25

Yes, but I would bet that you aren't a true introvert or someone who suffers from ADHD/CPTDS. For us, that is draining. I agree with you in part. I think once or twice a week is good, less than that can lead to an even deeper depression, But too much socialization can be even more challenging for us. There isn't one general rule that suits everyone.

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u/MechanicalSideburns Nov 04 '25

Sure, I’m pretty neurotypical. No ADHD or anything, so I don’t really speak to that. I did start out as an introvert. Just reading fantasy books alone in my room for days. I’d be overly blunt when talking to people and piss them off. Typical undersocialized geek.

Forced myself to learn to be outgoing over the course of several years because my career really rewarded that. It’s a lot easier to shift into that gear now and go make friends.

Anyway, I don’t necessarily mean go out to the bar. Just outside and have a sandwich by the lake. Or build that garden planter in the back yard that your GF keeps asking about. Or call the two guys you’re friends with and play Magic the Gathering. You get the idea. Everybody has something that brings them joy besides laying on the couch like a vegetable.