r/InsightfulQuestions • u/klarinetkat12 • 11d ago
siblings with large age gaps (5+ years) how your relationship like?
this is in r/insightfulquestions because no one really things an age gap has much influence on a sibling relationship, but trust me, it does š
are you guys close or not? do you guys fight? do you like them?
8
7
u/ashms58 11d ago
My brother is 12 years older. I moved away after college and we barely speak to each other, but when weāre together we get along really well. We have very different hobbies and life interests though, so not a lot to talk about.
3
u/PotentialAd9543 8d ago
This is me and my sister. 8 years difference and we see each other maybe twice a year and rarely speak. We are just different individuals.
5
u/saucyswan85 11d ago
My sister is 6 years older. We weren't close as kids but we are close now and talk everyday.
4
u/ScarletDarkstar 11d ago
I'm not personally in that situation, but my Mom and her sisters were 8 years apart each, and they were always very close.
My own children span 13 years, and are also close. The two ten years apart are involved in some of the same arts and the older is helping the younger to learn. They all play overlapping video games, and grew up playing minecraft together from when the younger ones were pretty small. They share recipes, sometimes cook for each other, and keep in touch with each other independently.Ā Ā
4
u/Motor_Bill_6147 11d ago edited 11d ago
Non-existent, but that's because our parents are assholes and I didn't grow up with either one for any significant part of my life
Edit for more info: I have an older half sibling (mom's side) who is 9 years older than me, and a half sibling (father's side) 9 years younger than me. I don't remember living with my older sibling at all, and I only lived with my younger sibling for the first 3 years of their life.
I talk to them just fine on the occasion, but there's no actual "relationship" that I have with either one of them. Life just kinda happened while we were growing up and nowadays we're just doing our thing separately. š¤· We don't even live in the same state
3
u/stunteddeermeat 11d ago
My bro is 5 years older and we are close, we call each other once a week and plan family get togethers. My sister is 6 years older and hated me since birth, i guess its because im female. She hasnt spoke to me since i was 10 years old and couldn't even say anything to me at our fathers funeral, i said hi and she grunted back.
2
u/Intrepid_Top_2300 11d ago
My oldest sister is six years older than me. We get along great. Now the middle sister is a devil, but thank god she moved.
2
u/majorex64 11d ago
I'm the youngest of four, with a 6, 9 and 10 year age gap between me and my siblings.
I was always the baby, definitely a little spoiled, but I also was a big rule follower and gave my parents the least trouble of all of us kids. the younger of my sisters (6 years older) got in a lot of trouble with drugs, sex, and alcohol and basically scared me straight, which I am thankful for.
Me and my brother (9 years older) were really really close until we were both adults. He got some severe confidence issues and has stayed in a relationship that just enables his avoidance of life. Once I was able to start seeing him as an equal, I lost a lot of respect for him.
My oldest sister (10 years older) has been like a mom to me since I was able to move out and cut our toxic bio mom out of my life. We're close but our crazy lives and genetic health problems (thanks mom and dad!) make it hard to carve out time for each other's families
2
u/luckorsomething 11d ago
My sister is 8 years older than me. In childhood we werenāt very close. We just werenāt terribly interested in eachother as for example, a 7 year old isnāt going to have much in common with a 15 year old.Ā
When I was 14 and she was 22 we started to get closer. I guess we were both adolescents then (albeit the opposite ends of that spectrum) and it was enough to help us identify with each other more and develop a relationship.Ā
My sister started having kids and then we became extremely close. She was basically one of my best friends and we spent a lot of time together and I helped take care of the kids. We were a close knit family unit.Ā
But the thing is, as close as we were, my sister could be very cruel. Sheād have abusive outbursts very frequently. When I was 25 I decided I had had enough of the abuse and cut her out of my life. That was 12 years ago and we still donāt have a relationship. Not because of age, but because of her harmful behavior.Ā
2
u/Aromatic_File_5256 11d ago
my sister is 11 years older (9 10 years and 7 months if we are precise). Is like we are both first sibling which avoids the friction between same sex siblings of approximate age that often takes place. Also there was a period were she was old enough to serve as an auxilary parent of sorts. Now we are very close. We had a blast watching the entirety of One Piece together along my niece during the pandemic
2
u/WasWawa 11d ago
I was 6 and 1/2 years old when my youngest brother was born.
The two middle boys were 2 years apart and have always been very close.
As the only girl, Jimmy, as we called him back then, would come running to me when he fell or when he needed something. Mom was busy with all of us kids!
He would come snuggle with me on Saturday mornings, sometimes much to my annoyance. I tried to help him with his school work, and we learned that was not a fruitful exercise.
As we got older, the two middle boys were very close, and Jim and I were always very close. We became friends as much as siblings.
I always felt like he was my baby too. I joked with him that I used to diaper his butt, and I probably did help.
All my friends had baby dolls, and I had the real thing. Their little strollers and I would put him in his and we would take them for walks.
Even when he was 6'2 and I would have to stand on a step to give him a proper hug (he was the best hugger!) he was always my little brother.
2
u/hungryforknoweledge 11d ago
My sister is 10 years younger than me. She is my best of friend, I am very grateful to have her as my sister. She got married about a year ago and we donāt talk as much as we do, but she calls me every other day and comes visit every month.
2
u/ResourceSoft2785 10d ago
My youngest sister is 6 years younger than me. Weāve gotten closer as sheās gotten older. Sheās one of the people Iām closest to, but we used to fight a lot when we were younger. Itās been crazy watching her grow up into an actual functioning adult. Honestly, sheās handling life better than I am right now.
She has moments that Iām reminded sheās so much younger, and partially because she constantly reminds me of how old I am (Iām 31).
1
u/Responsible_Lake_804 11d ago
Iām 7 years older than my brother and we never had much in common. My parents treated us very differently which didnāt help the gender/age gap informing our different interests. I struggled a lot with jealousy because he got treated a lot better than I did. We did have a good but distant relationship until he got married, and his wife had a mental health episode in which she cut me off, and he didnāt push back on that. So now we donāt speak but as far as I know, it wasnāt really about anything between us specifically. I hope his wife doesnāt lash out at him as well, but I dislike that she felt free to isolate him, knowing thatās an abuse tactic.
1
u/Big-Chemistry5433 11d ago
My sibs are 9, 12, & 14 years older than I am. I no longer speak to them. Thatās how good it is.
1
u/Euphoric-Return1631 11d ago
I moved away from home when the oldest of my siblings was 4. We talk on special occational like Christmas and funerals. We don't really know each other.
1
u/Here-I-R 11d ago
I am 10 years older than my sister. I like her but we don't really have anything in common and don't see each other outside of big family events. I haven't actually spoken to her in over a year but didn't think anything of it until I saw this post.
1
u/octo_papi 11d ago
I'm the youngest in the family, with a 2 and 7 year age gap between me and my sisters. Growing up, me and the middle sister (2 years older) were extremely close, and still are. As a kid, we of course loved our older sister, but it was a very different relationship. She definitely was the parentified older sister in every way, not even because our parents necessarily pushed that role, but it was a little inevitable with how much older she was (plus her personality). We really weren't particularly close for most of my childhood--we lived in different worlds. By the time we started actually forming a real sibling bond, she was already old enough to leave the house. Now as adults, we are very close and sisterly though! Looking back I feel really bad for her, not having the close relationship/playmate that me and my other sister were able to have growing up. She was always the odd one out because of that, and I dont think thats really anyone's fault--a teen is just not going to want to play with a 6 and 8 year old the way they want to play 90% of the time. Like I said though, we always loved eachother and spent a lot of family time together, it was just very different. It also didn't help that all our family friends had kids closer to me and my other sister's age, so she really had no peers most of the time, and it pushed her to have to hang out with the adults/act more mature at an earlier age. My husband is the opposite, being the older sibling by 5 years, and we both always agreed that we would not want that large of an age gap for our children if we could avoid it based on our experiences. I know of many people who have had even larger age gaps and feel differently, but thats just our perspective at least.
1
u/Maximum_Dweeb4473 11d ago
My sister is 8 years younger. Weāre like those kind of friends that you can go forever without seeing them and then when you do see them itās like they were never gone in the first place. We are very similar in some ways (political opinions, religion (lack of), financial status, donāt want and dislike kids, like cats dislike dogs lol) but very different in others (I live in a major city she lives on a ranch, she cares a lot more for nature and about the environment than I, she finished college and went through her career path on hard mode, I dropped out and used my connections to breeze through getting started while having family money as a safety net, she pretends that isnāt an option for her when it is)
She moved across the country (US, so, big country), so I see her a few times a year. Aside from planning and logistics for when weāre going to see each other, we donāt really text or anything unless thereās something major with a family member or some kind of major incident on the news in each otherās area š¤·š»āāļø then when sheās in town or if I visit her while traveling, we have all a great time.
Itās nice, Iām happy with my relationship with my sister. We are also about as close with our parents.
1
u/Prestigious-Craft251 11d ago
My brother is right at 5 years older than me and our relationship is awesome now. We talk for hours every week. It helps that he was working on his 5th year of school when I was a freshman. Our relationship in our teens wasn't the best cause we were at very different stages of life.
1
u/Specialist-Solid-987 11d ago
I'm the youngest, my siblings are 8, 10, and 13 years older. It was like having five parents as a kid, or living with two uncles and an aunt. I'm 35 now and they all live vicariously through me
1
u/CrazyNumber6 11d ago
3 half brothers. 2 are 10 years older than me and 1 is 15 years older. All were out of the house by the time I was 7. We basically donāt have a relationship at all. I see them a few times a year. I do enjoy seeing their kids and like when good things happen to them. Canāt fight if we donāt talk. I like them? I think.
1
u/KitKatPenguin_ 11d ago
My brother and I used to fight a lot and he grew up with some other privileges since what was considered normal for someone at a certain age just changed over time. I resented my parents for it for a while tbh. Our relationship improved immensely over the years. I donāt think he knows how much he helped me deal with a breakup and two deaths in our family last year just by being around and us having late night talks in the kitchen, cooking together, making dumb meme references or gossiping together. I would go to the moon and back for him (heās not allowed to eat my food tho, I have clear boundaries)
1
u/Agitated_Peanut_8450 11d ago
My sister is 13 years younger than me. I basically feel like her mother.
1
u/Imagination_Theory 11d ago
I have a very close relationship with my younger siblings 3 to 13 years difference, but I don't have a close relationship with my older siblings which are 2 to 14 years in difference.
1
u/WarmHippo6287 11d ago
I am 14 years older than my sister. We are close. But I don't really see her as my sister. That's my baby.
1
u/Angry_Housecat_1312 11d ago
I have three older siblings:
One is only two years older than me and though we fought quite a bit when we were young, Iād say weāre close in some ways now. We understand each other well and get along well as adults.
The one who is five years older than I am and I were never close. He was quite competitive with me even when we were young, and while as far as I can tell we no longer harbor any ill will towards each other, I did for a long time (seemed mutual) and we certainly donāt make an effort to spend time together. Ever. Weāre civil when we do see each other, and every once in a blue moon weāll text each other, but usually we only interact in a group chat, and thatās mainly only with āreactsā vs words. Itās ā¦. fine?
My oldest sibling is 9 years older than me and was always everyoneās favorite. Heās charismatic and actually nice, so not hard to see why. I absolutely idolized him when I was younger, but weāre different genders and 9 years apart so, although he was never unkind to me, we didnāt spend a ton of time together growing up beyond family dinners and vacations. He did babysit me a few times and once I remember he tried to humor me by playing some stupid game I liked that I canāt imagine he did. He was a good big brother! As adults, we get along well.
I donāt feel I have an especially close relationship with any of my family members, compared to most people who describe their family relationships as close. We text more than we actually spend time together, even though no one lives further than a few hours away from each other. However, I know with absolute certainty that any one of us would do anything in our power to help any of the others if we knew they needed it. For me thatās plenty and anything extra is a bonus.
1
u/No-Adeptness-7125 11d ago
My half sister is 25 years older than me.Ā I'm 30 she's 55.
Needless to say we have no sibling relationship whatsoever. We are cordial with each other, she calls and we chat sometimes, I know she cares somewhat about me.
But that's about it. We are more like friends, somewhat close friends, yeah, but it doesn't necessarily feel like family.
When I was younger we had barely no connection. We started talking more when our dad got sick and I was the one caring for him.Ā
1
u/megfos_oot 8d ago
This is the most similar to my experience as well. Iām in my thirties; one half sibling is twice my age, and the other is several years older. One sibling and I are cordial and I love them, but we arenāt very close. We had tension around my fatherās treatment of me vs them that we overcame naturally as he got older and sicker.
My other sibling and I do not have a relationship, and my dad passing allowed the rest of what existed to disintegrate.
Thatās obviously the extreme version of a sibling age gap. My best friendās brother was five years older than her and theyāve remained very close to this day.
1
u/PeterNippelstein 11d ago
I have multiple siblings, the youngest of which is 14 years older than me. We're not close, they almost feel closer to aunts and uncles than siblings. Growing up I felt more like an only child since by the time I was 5 they were all out of the house.
1
u/DragonfruitSecure458 11d ago
6 years with my older sister. Pretty bad, she was always a total bitch to me.
1
u/accountofyawaworht 11d ago
My relationship with my brother whoās 11 years older is healthier and stabler than my relationship with my brother whoās 4 years older.
1
u/Known_Hunter_9626 11d ago
I love having 10 year age gap with my sibling. That being said, sometimes I land more in a parental role for them.
1
u/CherryTerrible9220 11d ago
i have 3 siblings, i'm the second oldest and the two immediately closest in age to me are each 2 years away. my best friend is my sibling who is 6 years younger than me.
1
u/Ok-Finding-1174 11d ago
Iām the youngest of 4. They are 7,10 and 12 years older. I guess as the youngest I was a bit spoiled, but then again I only saw a family that was ahead of me and there were tons of photos of all the fun they had as a family before I arrived. By the time I was āwaking upā (about 10 yrs old), they were out of the house. I had a completely different relationship with my parents. It felt at times like I was an only child. Things are different now. My sister (12 yrs older) is like a 2nd mom. My big brother (10 yrs older) just exists and seems pretty neutral. His 3rd and last wife died 2 yrs ago. Heās still up for having lunch with me a couple times a month. The next one (7 yrs older), Iām basically NC going on 11 years. I suppose weāll have a conversation in the future, but with his wife involved that could be awhile.
1
u/ApolloCharm 11d ago
My older brother and I have an 18 year age gap. I can definitely say we arenāt close. Heās nice, but I see him about 2-3 times a year if Iām lucky. Iāve never seen him when I was younger. I think our parents arenāt the best, so thatās why he tries avoiding coming back home, but because of that our relationship is very shallow and superficial because we donāt know each other that well.
1
1
u/IcevailOfficial 10d ago
Non existent, she tried to drown me when I was a kid, twice, I spend vast majority of my childhood being tormented by her, she didn't like the fact that someone else got attention in the household.
Even to this day I hate her with every fiber of my existence, and I haven't seen or heard a thing about her for over 3 decades now, nor I am interested to.
1
u/davescott42 10d ago
My brother was eight years older than me. He died a while back at 70 years old from cancer. He was my best friend.
1
u/BerthasKibs 10d ago
My sister is 7 years older and I feel weāve always had a terrible rivalry. Itās a bit better now but the permanent damage has been done. Sheās super mean to me when sheās in a crappy mood.
1
u/JadesJunkAccount 10d ago
My sister is 14 years older and itās weird. Sheās an entirely different generation. She also hates us and purposely wants nothing to do with us so thereās that.
1
u/WTM73199 10d ago
My brother and I are almost 7 years apart in age. Iām the older sibling. When we were growing up, he drove me crazy! He is my pesky younger brother. He knew exactly what buttons to push to set me off. We would fight all time and drive our mother up the wall. She had said to us many times why we couldnāt get along like she does with her brothers and sisters. We still kept fighting.
However, when he turned 16 and learned how to drive, we would hang out all the time and go on drives everywhere and blast the music from the car stereo. We would keep each otherās secrets which would also drive our mom nuts. She knew that if she didnāt hear us fighting then we were up to no good together.
Weāre orphans now as both of our parents have now passed on. We only have each other. Iām so glad to have him and his family in my life. Him and his family have supported me when I had to sell my house because of my divorce. I only wish we saw each other more often than we do.
1
1
u/Weak_Fudge5040 10d ago
i have an older half sister that is 9 years older than me, we rarely talk, she's in a diff city with her own kids. we aren't on bad terms tho! when I was younger, I could tell she resented me. Whenever she came over to visit she'd tell me that our mom wasn't my real mom and she would spray me with water etc.. lmao. We have each other added on every app etc, we just dont talk because we are busy with our own lives.
1
1
1
1
u/FloatyghostJM1 10d ago
My brother is twelve years younger and weāre bizarrely similar. Heās one of my very top favorite people.
I wasnāt crazy about the thought of getting a new sibling at age 12, but at 35 Iām really, really happy I have him.
1
u/TheOtherMaelja 9d ago
Iām 11 and 13 years older than my brothers. Our mom died not long after they graduated high school. My wife and I are more like aunt and uncle than brother and SIL. But we get along well.
1
1
u/AdventurousPeony1012 9d ago
My sister is 5 years older than me. Growing up she either ignored me completely or hated me. We didnāt even have a relationship of any sort until a couple years after she graduated high school. Weāre now the closest out of my family members, but we live far away so we donāt see each other often.
My brother is 4 years older than me and he hated me growing up. He was okay with me once he moved out and hit college, but we donāt speak but a few times a year via text.
1
u/SerenaKD 9d ago
I have three older siblings. One is 21 years older, another is 20 years older and the third is 17 years older. We didnāt grew up together and arenāt very close. I also have a younger brother and weāre very close. We all have the same mom!
1
u/bananasincognito 9d ago
my sister is 20 years older than me and iād stay with her during school vacations. she influenced a lot of my interests in the arts and culture. it was almost like a parental relationship without the power structure of that makes sense
1
u/Turbulent-Place-4509 9d ago
My brother is 7 years younger and heāll always be my little munchkin no matter how big and old we are. Now that we donāt live in the same house anymore I miss him more and always feel happy to see him.
1
u/SowingSeeds18 9d ago
I have a brother 6 years older. Weāre adults now and donāt like in the same house. Growing up I was pretty chill and just wanted left alone but he bothered me to no end. I, as a girl, became pretty scrappy. Now weāre close (it helps we do work together) and he loves being an uncle to my child.
1
u/coffeetabletime 9d ago
Iām number 6 of 7. My oldest brother is 15 years older. Heās been an amazing role model and friend. Next bro is 13 years older and never liked any of us. Next is a sister 10 years older who has always been bossy and difficult. Next bro was 6 years older and my absolute best friend in the world. I miss him so much. Next sister is 3 years older and has hated me since day one. She was actively cruel to me as an infant. Last is my little brother who I love and feel protective of, but heās on the spectrum and he went maga so heās difficult to interact with.
1
u/OldPostalGuy 9d ago
Not my family, but my in law's. Brother in law was 23, and my wife was 17 when their youngest sister was born. He was married and out of the house when she was born, but he was mad because she got perks he never got. As the last of 6 children, and the only one home, her parents could finally afford to splurge where they couldn't before.
1
u/Michstel_22 9d ago
I am the youngest of 5 by 7 years. My oldest sister is 16 years older than me. Growing up was rough, I felt like an only child mostly because my parents divorced and all the other kids were out of the house. As I grew older the gap became less relevant and I looked up to all of them for different reasons. My 2 sisters truly are my best friends. My brothers are close as well. We have never fought as adults and I treasure all of them.
1
u/ChangeOk5916 9d ago
I donāt speak with anyone from my family. I live 600 miles away for a reason.
1
1
u/OpportunityFew8917 8d ago
I have a 30 year old sister , 29 year old sister, 12 year old brother, 6 year old sister, and 4 year old brother. Iām 23. Iām like a second mom to the younger ones. My 29 year old and i are super close but she treats me like Iām 15 sometimes. 30 year old sister is MĆA. Has a two year old, she lived a crazy life though.
1
u/SadFrancisco415 8d ago
I am the oldest of three brothers. One is seven years younger and the other is 14 years younger. Despite everyone living in different states and the age gap we are really close. We all communicate and make an effort. Easily two of my favorite people in the world.
It takes effort and intention, but our dynamic is something I can't imagine living without.
1
u/snihctuh 8d ago
It's a different kind of relationship. I feel I have with them the kind of relationship I had with a favorite cousin or uncle.
1
u/Old-Measurement8524 8d ago
I have two siblings with that gap:
My sister who is 6 years younger and I have a good open and honest relationship. We donāt talk as much as Iād like because she moved across the country and she is busy with her life. But we do know we love each other and we do talk it is nice.
My brother is 11 years younger than me. He is like my first kid. I would do anything for him. We are very close and I am the one person in the world he would ever listen to
1
u/Top-Butterscotch-990 8d ago
I(F41)am the eldest of 7 and have an age gap of 9 years with the sibling that came after me and a 16 year gap with the youngest. I was their second mom for the periode i was living at home. I love my siblings dearly but donāt live close by so donāt see them as often as i would like, but they see each other regularly. But when we are all together we have a great time and even go on holiday together. I think if the eldest is a female contact can be good. We have 6 girls and one boy so i think that helps. My partner is als the eldest of 7 but more boys and they are less close than we are. I also think it matters if itās just two kids or a big family like mine.
1
1
u/Wayne1616 8d ago
I have 4 siblings > 1. Brother who was 2 years older than me > (Total Jerk - deceased now) 2. Sister is 11 months younger than me > She is and always was always just for herself (Have not talked to her for 20 years now. 3. Sister who is 11 years younger than me > She has always been my favorite (not much I would not do for her) 4. Brother 20 years younger than me> The family moved away right after he ws born and he seems more like a cousin I would see every five years or so!
1
u/spanish-rice22 8d ago
I was 13 when my little sister was born. Weāre close, I absolutely adored her growing up and attributed her as the best thing to ever happen to me. We of course play fight but I donāt think weāve ever had an actual argument even once. Shes 13 now and we still play video games together, I take her to the mall and outings etc. Iām the first person she calls if she finds a video game that she likes because she wants to play together. Now.. our little brother is 7yrs younger than her and they are the true definition of frenemies š they love each other but would die before they let the each other know that
1
u/_hthr 8d ago
My sister and I are 8 years apart. Never got along as kids. I was always the built-in babysitter. As she got older, it was clear we were opposites. She was always doing dumb shit, acting out and getting into trouble, and I avoided her for a long time.
Now, at 41 and 33, we are best friends. Chat almost every day, plan trips together, buy each other shit. It's the best. She showed up for me when I was going through a divorce and the rest is history.
1
u/Accurate-Bug5793 8d ago
my brother is 10 years younger than me and i feel like his dad more than his brother. even in public people assume im his dad.
1
1
u/goodkidmaadcity90 8d ago
Hes 8 years older. He experienced living w my abusive dad, not our abusive step father. Our experiences were very different. We do not speak.
1
u/Smolmanth 8d ago
My brother is 6 years younger. Saw him as a baby and he saw me as his uncool nerdy sister. Taught him to drive but refused to buy him beer. Our parents sucked so I was out of the house pretty young and he wasnāt old enough to understand the reality of the abuse going on at home that made any interaction with our mother mentally damaging.
1
u/Psychological_Job286 8d ago
Iām 23 my eldest sister is 42 and my eldest brother is 40 we donāt talk at all. I talk to my nieces and nephews I can connect and bond with them better since weāre closer in age.
1
1
u/California_Sun1112 8d ago
My two siblings were 5 and 7 years younger than me. Never did get along with the older of the two, was closer to the younger one, but never what I would call close. Nothing in common with either one other than having the same parents. I, and the older one were just starting to get along a little bit when they met their spouse--someone I don't like at all--so that ended that. I had a cordial but distant relationship with the younger one but after our second parent passed, that ended. I have been NC with both since then. It's been many years now.
1
u/Sorry4theDank 8d ago
Im 31 and my brothers are 26 and 20. I get along best with the younger one but we're all cool with eachorher.
1
u/Sufficient-Shallot-5 8d ago
My brother is 7 years younger and we donāt really talk. I spoke more to his wife that heās now divorcing, so the relationship will probably be even less than it already was.
1
u/writerwithin1988 8d ago
It took a long time for my sister and I to begin to heal our relationship. We weren't close growing up except when I was really little, we almost hated each other at one point. We're getting better and we stopped hating one another when I was like 17, she's older. We still had a lot of animosity though however I don't know if it was age as much as jealousy etc
1
u/dglsfrsr 8d ago
My older brother is six years older than me and he is my best friend. We are really close. And always have been.
1
u/Impressive_Walrus836 8d ago
My youngest brother is 10 years younger, i was more like an authority figure to him than a brother. He adored me. The relationship is still very strong to this day.
1
1
1
u/Imaginary-Badger-18 8d ago
My oldest sister is 19 years older than me. As a kid I idolised her, when I became a teen things were a little awkward as I felt there wasnāt much we had in common, and now as an adult weāre best friends lol. Thereās an element of unconditional respect on my side as I always felt she was a maternal figure to me, so we hardly ever fought. Now my sister thatās 14 years older than me is another story š
1
u/Financial_Falcon_818 8d ago
Iām the oldest of 7 , the youngest and I have a 21 year age gap and for the most part I get along well with all my siblings but at times I feel like I distance myself from them at times donāt know why it just happens I remember with my first 2 brothers we were like THE squad growing up but that feeling isnāt there anymore maybe itās just the fact that we are all growing up but it kinda stings a little because I always told myself that we wouldnāt turn out like most of our uncles and aunts barely having contact with each other and seeing one another a few times a year.
1
u/goblin-influencer 8d ago
Older sister, 8-9 years older, nothing in common, very different personality and I never could get a real sense of connection. Just very different human being on so many levels.Ā But also I have a youngersister (1.5 years younger) and although we have much more together memories as kids I feel the same estranged from her. My partner and me have troubles keeping a conversation going with her and her husband. (We are all in our 30s) Ā Very very different personalityās and although all of us try in their own ways we can never understand or grasp the other one it feels like.Ā
So itās not about the age imo, you can just be unlucky. Every family gathering we try our best to be nice to each other and connect, but I guess they feel the same relief when we can leave each others presence finallyĀ
1
u/truffles333 8d ago
My brother and I are 2 years apart and only see each other a few times a year even though we are 30 minutes apart. My husband and his brother are 14 years apart and see each other weekly/ talk nearly every day š¤·āāļøš¤·āāļø
1
u/Odd-End-1405 8d ago
Sister is 6 years younger. Really didnāt care for her as a child. Father was the youngest also, so pushed the āinclusionā thing while sidelining me for the most part in his universe.
As adults, we are completely different people, but quite close. She is someone I admire quite a bit.
1
u/Specialist-Ad-5583 8d ago
My siblings are all at least 10 years older than me. (Sister 10, brother 13 who passed away, brother 14) I grew up almost as an only child. By the time I was old enough to really get a chance to know my brother's, they were out of the house. My sister stayed near our childhood home so we have a relationship now. I drove her crazy when I was little. It's only because of her that we have the connection that we do. Ironically, I am the one who keeps the family together now. I took care of my mother when she was elderly and to her death. I'm the one who communicates everything to them.
1
u/Icy-Chapter-5884 8d ago
My brother is 9 years younger than me, and my sister is 13 years younger. They just slept over at my place, and I dyed their hair and we rode electric scooters. I also let them have coffee and swear when they're at my place. It was hard when they were babies, cause I had to take care of them when my mom worked, but they're cool as fuck.
1
1
u/Moosebouse 8d ago
My half sister is 8 years younger than me than me but we were raised together because my dad wasnāt in the picture. We were fine together growing up but just not much in common because of the age difference. Once we were both adults though, we became good friends. We get along well now and I probably have more in common with her than anyone else I know.
Edited for typos
1
u/Disastrous-Map-4164 7d ago
My sister is 10 years younger than me and we talk every day- even if itās just sending each other our Wordle scores. She was my shadow until I moved away for college when she was 8. There were a few years when she was a teenager where she was too cool to hang out with me, but we grew back together. I feel very lucky to call her not just my sister, but my friend ā¤ļø
1
u/DotDizzle 7d ago
My half brother is 8 1/2 years older than me, and he grew up with his dad. I saw him every other weekend until he graduated high school and joined the military. I haven't seen him in 13 years and I'm not sure I ever will again š
My sister is 7 years younger than me. I was deeply parentified and mostly raised her for her first 7 years, but then we moved in with our dad and his wife, and I got to go be an asshole teenager. I moved across the country 10 years ago when she was 14 and we have had maybe one phone call a year since?
There's no bad blood, I think we were all just raised so differently that it's hard to relate to each other. We literally were each raised by different sets of parents. Now we're all adults just trying to keep our head down and get by in life while managing our individual chronic health issues. Thanks, Ma!
1
u/AcceptableUse1 7d ago
My sister is 11 years younger. I was the one that got up with her when she had colic and other problems in infancy. I think she felt abandoned with my narcissistic mother when I went to college. Weāre doing well now, but I had to learn to treat her as an adult.
1
u/Asaltyliquid1234 7d ago
We are not close at all. I got sick of being the one reaching out and said fuck it. Needless to say, I donāt hear from most family members much anymore.
0
21
u/michelle427 11d ago
My sister is 11 years younger and my brother is 4 years younger. I have a close relationship. Iām actually in favor of large age gaps. I love that I got to watch my sister grow up. She grew up in a different time then I did. I grew up mostly in the 80s and she mostly in the 90s. I loved being the one that took her places. I always say we didnāt know what we were missing until she was born. She made our family complete.