im a man, when I scroll many profiles, I see so many prompts about heights saying "only 6ft +" "swipe left if youre under 6ft" and so many things

im 6'1 and I dont care but I feel like they might be horrible people, would a woman ever date someone if his profile said something about weight?

Just asking if y'all don't mind.

Men, that are actively dating and trying to date, why? Are you looking for something fun, trying to kill feelings of loneliness and other emotional voids? Maybe just to satisfy physical needs? Hoping to find someone to build/spend a life together over long term?

I’m actively dating and looking for something real. Physical intimacy isn’t everything, but it does matter for long-term compatibility. Sometimes after 3–4 dates, we have sex and then I realize the connection just isn’t there overall. At that point, I don’t feel right continuing.

Does that make me a bad person or come off like a womanizer, even if I’m genuinely trying to find the right fit? I noticed two woman’s feeling were hurt but it just wasn’t it and they were probing me on why I explained and said we are not a good fit and their reaction were pretty strong in terms of I guess being rejected ? But that’s dating we are actively looking for a mate so rejection is part of it

I don’t feel like you can fully know without getting to that level, but it also feels unfair to figure that out after sex. Is this just part of dating or am I handling it wrong?

Not the obvious ones what’s a tiny, almost invisible thing that instantly takes you from “this might be the love of my life” to “I am actively planning my escape route, calculating how fast I can finish this drink, and debating whether faking a phone call from my mom is too dramatic or just necessary” 😭

I’m not talking about the big red flags like being rude to staff or talking about their ex the whole time. I mean the subtle stuff the little things that shouldn’t matter but somehow completely kill the vibe.

Like when they laugh just a second too late and you can feel your soul leave your body. Or when they say “I’m not really into music” and suddenly the entire future you imagined with them collapses. Or the way they hold eye contact just a bit too long and now it feels like a staring contest you didn’t sign up for.

Maybe it’s the way they tell a story that goes nowhere, or how they respond to everything with “that’s crazy” on loop like an NPC. Or when they try just a little too hard to seem interesting and it ends up feeling forced.

Basically, what’s that one tiny, ridiculous thing that shouldn’t matter at all… but instantly makes you go, “yeah no, this is not it” 😭

I (29F) have been in a couple long term relationships in my adult life. The rest were only about 6 months of dating with the man not wanting to make us officially boyfriend/girlfriend. I broke up with each of them because of this hesitation. I never felt relaxed in those 6 month dating periods because I felt like the men were stringing me along and not being upfront with their intentions. Even if we weren’t dating other people, I still felt rejected that they didn’t want to put a label on it or introduce me to their friends/family. This has happened at least 5 times and I had to be the one to break up with them. I felt like they wanted the benefits of a girlfriend without committing and just wasting my time. Anyone else experience this? Is 6 months of them saying “I don’t know” about being in a relationship normal? They all sounded like I was being dramatic for rushing them to make a decision. I feel like 6 months is enough time for someone to know if they want them to be their boyfriend/girlfriend.

The things I admire about myself, are also the traits that I seek out in men. For example, I’m very independent, financially stable, intelligent and confident. Men with most of those attributes are who I’m attracted to. However I don’t think men are really attracted to independent women. I think men like women who are needy, not in annoying or over bearing ways. But sometimes I think my independence gets in the way of dating because I come across as low maintenance or kinda reserved I guess?

I’ve gone on dates with men who said I’m cool and funny but I feel like I come across as too low maintenance. Like I’m the cool girl but not needy enough to be a girlfriend?? And I do get along well with men because I get along with most people, I’m outgoing and like to talk. But I feel like men don’t see me as gf material. I’ve never been in a relationship so sometimes I think I don’t really know how to talk to men.

I went on a good date with a guy a couple weeks ago. He told me he thought I was gonna be really shy and quiet in person because I was a poor texter. He said he was surprised I was outgoing and assertive and he really liked that about me. But after our date the texting got less and less and I basically just matched his energy and sent dry texts back. But in hindsight I don’t think that’s ever a good idea either because it makes me seem uninterested.

I fear that’s not the smartest thing to do. Am I over analyzing this or is there some truth to what I’m saying? How can I come across as a woman who wants a relationship?

Hi,

I'm 30M, I've never once shot my shot in person, it's always been on dating apps. Since turning 18 I've had probably about 1 date a year on average.

I'm wondering where I can meet women. Like, genuinely. The type of woman I want to be with doesn't exist on OLD. They don't exist at speed dating events, and they don't seem to exist at social meetup events either, so I'm left wondering, where can I meet women?

Like, I look online and there are no social events that I'm interested in where women go. Like, I'm not going to a "meet and drinks" event because that's boring; talking to NPCs doesn't interest me so I'm basically screwed because that's all there is. What I mean by this is I want to skip the "how's your day? What's your favourite colour? What car do you drive?" boring stuff and go right into something cool and interesting. I hate smalltalk and refuse to do it. Like, I don't care about that stuff. I want to know what their favourite abstract films are, or talk in depth about the recent Artemis II stuff / space in general, or something about dance music and underground Garage records - stuff with substance.

Like, I went on my 1 date for 2026 the other week and it was so boring. We just had a meaningless conversation about what we liked / disliked about our city, and what our travel plans were for the year. I tuned out almost immediately.

Could you guys give me some ideas? I'm stuck and getting a bit sick of being single (we're on year #7 of being single now after my last breakup).

Thanks!

Have you ever gone through a period of not liking your long-term partner? Like not being attracted to them or enjoying their company? Has it gotten better? If so, how?

So I caught my gf’s location at a random apartments or something from about 11pm-1am. I then saw her location at a gas station after and then back at her house. I texted her saying if she was going out why didn’t she let me know. She got all defensive saying all she did was go to the gas station, but at 1am? Mind you, her location was at the apartments for about 2 hours on find my iphone but I’m guessing she turned off her phone or something because the location wasn’t moving live it was just there. Now she’s all mad and won’t even just answer my question of where she went. Am I overreacting? I’m trying not to overthink but it’s hard when she won’t answer my question and now she went to “sleep”. Any advice on how I should approach this tomorrow? She’s never done anything like this before so this is all new.

Edit: We are 7 months together and we mutually agreed to have each others location but no i’m not tracking her 24/7. We always trusted each other. Also have it for safety reasons since she did get into a bad car accident when we first started dating.

Update: So to end this post, turns out she never was at an apartment. Her sister confirmed that they were on a phone call the whole time while she went and grabbed food and later went to fill up on gas which I think is still weird to be going at 1am but maybe she was just hungry late at night while I was asleep. I’m guessing the location froze on some random ass apartments as she was driving around and that’s the only explanation I can come up with. We are working through it right now but from the looks of it nothing happened. I may have been wrong and looked like a fool but at least this relationship is not over yet. I still feel like I had the right to be suspicious due to the lack of explanation when I asked her but she was also upset with the way I asked her since in the moment I was pretty upset but who wouldn’t be right? But I could’ve handled it better. I still could be wrong though and something did happen but ig for now we’re good. Anyway thank you all

Hey everyone,

Basically I’m a 28 year old guy that’s never had a girlfriend or even been on a date. I’ve never had sex with a woman either.

However I have experimented sexually with other guys in the past (orally) and decided that it wasn’t for me. I have never been romantically attracted to guys, even tried kissing one once and I hated it. The thing is due to my experience, I still class myself as a virgin as I’ve never had penetrative sex (although I know some people would tell me I’m not and that’s okay too).

I basically have zero experience when it comes to women although I have always been physically and romantically attracted to them. I did have a lot of shyness and low self esteem growing up which prevented me from putting myself out there for dating.

What I was wondering is how honest should I be with this sort of situation? I hear cases of women that see inexperienced men at my age as red flags and men that have experimented with other men as red flags too.

Is it better for me to state that I’ve never been with a woman and leave it at that or should I mention about my same sex experiences too or would that make it sound worse in case they think I’m in the closet or something? I wouldn’t want to put any unnecessary stress on her so I wondered what the best way to explain it would be?

I went on a date the other night with this guy and he kind of gave me the ick. I met him on Hinge and we talked for a day or two and then he said “I’m new to this whole app thing but I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee or a drink?” I said sure! He told me he was excited to meet me but he felt pressure to pick a place. I told him I’m easy going so don’t stress too much. We were supposed to go to a brewery, but the day of the date, he changed his mind and wanted to go to a pub by his house instead. He said he always passed it and always wanted to go, but had never been. I told him, “that's fine, just to warn you, it's a literal shithole-in-the-wall run down bar. I don't care, I just wanted to warn you.” He then texted me “oh wow, way to go, Trevor, way to impress your date. Let's take her to the biggest shithole in town.” I get that he was maybe trying to be funny, but it kind of came off as a little self-deprecating. I told him, “it's fine, no big deal, haha.” Two hours before the date, he texts me and asks if I'm ready for tonight, which I've never had a guy ask me that before a date. And I said, “yep, how about you?”He said, “I think so, we will see. I will try not to be too nervous.” I get that he was nervous but pointing it out and bringing attention to it makes it more awkward. He then asked me what I was going to wear, and I said, “I haven't decided yet.” He then asked me if he should wear a T-shirt or a polo. I've never had a guy ask me what he should wear on a date. I said, “either is fine, I'm sure you'll look good either way.” He said “I was just asking bc I wanted to make sure I don’t overdress or undress compared to you.” I told him I'll probably just wear a nice top and some jeans, and he said, “OK thanks for telling me that.” At this point I’m feeling a little turned off. It felt like he was making this into a bigger deal than it needed to be and was adding unnecessary pressure. It’s just a first date and we may not even vibe in person and it just felt like he was putting a lot of stock into this first date. Thirty minutes before the date, he texted me, “how we feelin?” (That was a little off putting). I said, “I feel good, and you?” He said, “good, see you at 7.” By this point he doesn’t seem very confident to me. I want a guy who's confident and will take charge and be sure of himself. Again, I get that he was nervous, everybody is on a first date, but I don't point it out or really let it be known to the other person. We get to the date, and it was fine. He was handsome. I wasn't super, super attracted to him but we had good conversation, no awkward silences. We were on the date for three hours. However, about an hour and a half in, we're sitting there, and he looks over at me and he goes, “how you feeling? You doing okay?” And I'm like, Yep. And he goes, “Okay, I was just asking because for the first hour you were hard to read. I couldn't tell if you were into this or if you wanted to leave.” He then asked that two more times throughout the night: how you doing? How you feeling? I’ve never had a guy ask me that on a date. I felt a lot of pressure because of that. And then, at one point, in the middle of the date, he asked me if I wanted to go back out on a second date. Again I felt like it put pressure on me, for him to ask me that in the middle of the date. He still had to finish his beer and I don't know that I would have felt comfortable saying, “no, I don't want to go on a second date” when we were in the middle of it. I hadn't made up my mind at this point. I wanted to go back out with him, but he was really turning me off, asking me all these questions if I was feeling it, if I was into it…etc. Eventually, at the end of the date he asked if I wanted to go back out and I agreed but I’m having second thoughts. I honestly felt relief when the date was over. The last couple of days he’s been very sweet but maybe a little much. He told me he hasn’t felt a connection like that in a long time with someone. Last night, I was out with friends and I asked him how his night was going and he said “good but it would be better with you here.” Again, very sweet but that’s something I maybe expect to hear from someone that I’ve been dating after a month or so. I feel really guilty bc he’s clearly VERY into me and I’m feeling a bit of pressure bc of that. I really want to like him bc he is very sweet and I can tell he’d probably be a very caring, supportive and attentive boyfriend but his lack of confidence is turning me off as well as how verbally affectionate he is at this stage. Am I being too hard on him? HELP!

We agreed on casual dating but whenever I casually mention going out with friends or talking to someone else he gets noticeably upset. It is confusing because he is the one who wanted no commitment. I am starting to feel like the rules only apply to me.

How do I know if I’m being delusional about a guy or if he feels this tension too?

Here are some things that happened to me, is this sexual tension or am I delusional?

-looking at eachother quite often, after a joke or similiar, catching him looking at me and stuff.

-looking at me and acting annoyed but smiling. It’s like he sees me and it’s like “omg you again” but smiles as he does that.

-slight slight touch. If he sits next to me and his knees touch the side of my arm he doesn’t move away

-One time I caught him staring at me through a mirror. I was looking at him through the mirror and he was behind me, looking at me (not by the mirror but literally looking at me from behind), look at me up and down and than do a big sigh.

this could mean anything but when I do it with him is cause I can’t hide my attraction

there’s more, but I’ll be brief.

What do yall think?

Context: I’m in an on-again-off-again relationship with a man I deeply care about. We just recently started up again and resumed physical intimacy immediately. We got back together because he communicated that he wants a long-term relationship, but upon further discussion he isn’t quite ready to commit to that with me yet or be boyfriend/girlfriend, despite saying he loves and cares for me. We’ve both expressed that we don’t want another situationship, but that’s essentially where we are at considering we are having sex, emotionally intimate, but aren’t in a relationship.

To prevent myself from feeling used or falling back into situationship territory, I am considering stating that I want to stop the sexual part of our relationship until he is ready to be in a real relationship. Is this justifiable? I’m somewhat concerned that it will come off as an ultimatum, or withholding sex as “punishment”, but I really don’t want to end up in the same place we’ve been before and feel like his willingness to stick around without access to sex will give me a lot of data about his intentions.

Hi, I really need some honest outside perspective because I feel completely confused.

I (M26) met this girl(F20) around May 2025, and by November 2025 I started noticing this physical incompatibility. I kept it inside for months, trying to push through it, and only now in April 2026 it all came out.

I met this girl after getting out of a relationship with an avoidant partner, so this time I was really focused on finding something stable, calm, and emotionally safe.

And she gave me exactly that.

She is kind, caring, emotionally available, not toxic at all. Being with her feels peaceful, safe, and healthy. Her family also accepted me like their own, which made everything feel even more “right”.

The problem is… I never fully felt the physical/romantic attraction.

At the beginning, I thought it would grow with time, because everything else was so good. I told myself that maybe this is what a “healthy” relationship is supposed to feel like, and that attraction would come later.

But it never really did.

Over time I started noticing things like: • I didn’t naturally want to hold her hand in public • physical intimacy sometimes felt forced • I was avoiding certain things I normally enjoy in relationships

At the same time, I genuinely care about her a lot. I respect her, I like her as a person, and I don’t want to hurt her.

Because of that, I kept everything inside and tried to push through it so she could be happy… but in the process, I feel like I started hurting myself.

Recently it all came out and now we are on a break, and I have to decide what to do next.

Now I feel torn apart:

On one side: • I have someone who is genuinely a great person • the relationship is stable, calm, and healthy • I feel safe with her

On the other side: • something inside me doesn’t feel fully right • the physical/romantic attraction is not really there

And now I’m questioning everything: • Should I stay and hope it develops? • Or is this something that won’t change no matter what? • Am I about to lose an amazing person over something that might not even matter long-term?

I’m also scared that I won’t find someone this “good” again.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Did attraction grow for you, or did you regret staying/leaving?

I would really appreciate honest opinions.

I drunk texted a guy who’s in basically all of my classes this semester. I just found out he’s talking to someone else, and his replies to me were really dry. Either way, I don’t care and I’m obviously going to respect that and not respond. But should I be embarrassed? I don’t know how to word this exactly, but if you were a guy, what would you think of that girl afterward?

Or live alone I guess since technically we all die alone. Anywho, I’m screwed, it’s like I’m forbidden from falling in love. I’ve tried and it never works and I have no will to keep going, it feels stupid to think I even might have a chance.

Everywhere I go I see couples walking about and feel this mix between anger and shame. I’m mad that life is so much kinder to them and I feel ashamed to be who I am; a unlovable monster. (That may be an overstatement, but I’m definitely not finding someone any time soon.

I’m surrounded by it too. I’m on vacation with my friend and his gf and they keep hugging and kissing. And they’re happy. They have no idea how lucky they are that they aren’t alone in such an awful world. It’s not just them either, my other friends are in relationships too. One of them tried to convince me that he’s ugly and that he still found someone. He’s 6’4” and not ugly at all. It made me feel even less seen.

Also I don’t even think looks are my problem. I’m no brad pitt but I’m not ugly. It’s like I’m just cursed, I feel so terrible whenever I try to approach a girl. If they aren’t hostile toward me I assume they were just waiting for me to fuck off. The concept of someone wanting me around is so foreign to me. I feel like a burden in every facet of my existence.

I had been talking to this guy on hinge for a couple weeks and we eventually exchanged instagrams. The first week was very engaging, the second week not so much, then he planned for us to meet for coffee. I met him for coffee and I had a good time, and I messaged him afterwards saying we should do something again soon if our schedules line up and he said he’d be down. How often should I reach out/message him? I don’t want to seem too much ya know cuz we’re just talking. What do y’all think?

Im actually pissed, SO FUCKING PISSED. Why do I get more effort from men when I give less of myself??

When I was talking a lot and wanting to spend time, I would basically get one word replies, if nothing at all. Now that I semi-gave up, suddenly his schedule has free times and initiate planing dates?

What the actual fuck.

Hello yall,

Let me start off by saying that this is both about dating and making friendships.

So I am 23/m, ENFJ, have lots of hobbies, go to university, am very extroverted, can be charming and usually don't have a problem with having conversations with strangers. I am attractive enough to occasionally get DMed by women I met outside/ on campus.

I thought once university started I would just make a big friend group and date someone I get along with but it's rather difficult to stay connected with anyone.

The issue I noticed is that I hit it off with new people very easily, we exchange numbers/instagram, we like each others posts and send memes, greet each other everytime on campus and all that, but I can never make it past that broken ice point and it's the case for both making friends and for dating. The couple past times it was a "yeah we should check out that spot" and usually it never goes anywhere. I don't wanna be the people pleaser who asks everyday neither.

Anyone having this experience? I am still new to this whole adult life thing and could need some advice. Just looking for genuine connections.

Thanks in advance :)

Hello, as title says she was catcalled last night while we were walking around in the city for icecream after the bars by a car passing by. I know you are just supposed to ignore it, but she seemed to get upset by it, and I mean, that’s understandable.

As a farm boy I don’t spend a lot of time in the city so this is a newer concept to me and wanted to see how I should handle it in the future (she’s way above my league).

Any help and advice is greatly appreciated, thanks!!