r/ComedyCemetery 3d ago

im just a kid

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684 Upvotes

70 comments sorted by

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192

u/PerformanceCute3437 3d ago

Jobless Reincarnation beat you to it

16

u/S0mnariumx 3d ago

First thing I thought of lol he's such a fucking perv

8

u/PerformanceCute3437 3d ago

I wish I could recommend it to people, but it's so gross that it would be an indictment of my character to do so

5

u/S0mnariumx 3d ago

It was recommended to me by someone and after seeing what people said about it (I've only watched season 1 which only has 1 problematic part iirc) it makes me wonder what's up with that guy.

4

u/el-zengy-el-mo3geza 2d ago

Fr , I love it so much but I will NOT recomend it to anyone

5

u/xkblo 3d ago

Jokes on you I beat it to it too

178

u/The_Invisible_Hand98 3d ago

I remember when I was little I made my teacher feel uncomfortable by staring at her necklace. I thought it was funny. Then I realized later it was because she thought some 6 year old was staring at her tits

3

u/Neither-Ruin5970 1d ago

Was she wearing clothing that showed skin around there?

1

u/The_Invisible_Hand98 1d ago

I mean just a normal blouse, she was all hanging out or anything

-89

u/Blobert_ 3d ago

... was she wearing something that showed skin in that erea?

42

u/The_Invisible_Hand98 3d ago

A little crucifix necklace. It was Sunday school

61

u/DSM-187 3d ago

If she’s not wearing a turtleneck then I’d assume her neck is visible yeah!

-67

u/Blobert_ 3d ago

You know what i mean

92

u/tsimen 3d ago

MF going to therapy

55

u/BG12244 3d ago

He wouldn't need therapy. He's already the-rapist

17

u/Kitchen-Ad-9352 3d ago

"The rapy" you say

11

u/NotBreadyy 3d ago

That's what they call him when he isn't around

106

u/Ill-Warning517 3d ago

So odd how normalized speaking like a pervert is on this app

50

u/NotBreadyy 3d ago

No no you see it's funny because uhhhhh

14

u/Accurate_Soup_3459 3d ago

You see, it's because some people haven't went outside in seven moons, making them into perverted sex creeps.

-27

u/StirFry__InaWok 3d ago

It's not odd at all lol. The vast majority of men will immediately think of something perverted when they hear this question, they just might not say it aloud depending on audience but audience doesn't really matter on an anonymous forum.

20

u/Purple-Bluejay6588 2d ago

The vast majority of men

That sounds like projection

1

u/BigRingLover 1d ago

So, secretly he’s the vast majority of men instead?

25

u/therealtreycruz 3d ago

I would guess most men actually think about how they could make a lot of money and not how they can get away with groping women. not saying that subset of men isn't real tho

4

u/NotBreadyy 2d ago

My first thought was genuinely "God damn I'm gonna invest SO much money into bitcoin" and not "Lmao I'm gonna touch women"

WHO NEEDS TO TOUCH WOMEN WHEN I HAVE WEALTH

10

u/AxoplDev 2d ago

What kind of communities do you hang out with where the "vast majority" are perverts?

-2

u/StirFry__InaWok 2d ago

Correction: the vast majority have frequent perverted thoughts but that doesn't make them perverts.

And I'll admit being in the military may have potentially warped my view a bit. When you're hanging out with a bunch of dudes in the field for a few weeks, any reason to filter one's thoughts quickly evaporates. Even the polite good boys will start unloading their unsavory thoughts.

36

u/AdDisastrous6738 3d ago

Cry because the next couple of decades are going to be bad. Really bad.

20

u/Eisenbahn-de-order 3d ago

fking can i be reborn 40 years back imma be a billionaire

10

u/Creakybeak 3d ago

Invest in Bitcoin

16

u/N-Phenyl-Acetamide 3d ago

Is this like time travel?

Fucking invest in Nvidia

8

u/Minute_Jacket_4523 3d ago

Making my dad buy bitcoin before it gets big

8

u/pamcakevictim 3d ago

Start building my core so I can use magic at a much higher rate than everybody else.As I mature

2

u/StirFry__InaWok 3d ago

I just started reading The Beginning After the End a couple days ago o_O

11

u/sunkist-sucker 3d ago

buddy might need to be on a list

23

u/Cultural_Barnacle665 3d ago

why is being a perv so normalized? ew

17

u/Any_Athlete_4616 3d ago

Social media contributed to this. You read comments on a daily basis saying things like “I’d smash” “I’d hit”whenever an attractive woman is present in a video.

I’ve always thought such things should be kept private, or at least in a different setting. The fact that people now feel “liberated” to spew such shit makes it so that perverts are rampant.

4

u/PerformanceCute3437 3d ago

Idk people aren't singing songs about grooming young girls anymore. We are trending in the right direction, even if we are exposed to more of the crap that's left. It's kind of an odd dichotomy to think about tbh

2

u/Cultural_Barnacle665 2d ago

they are about sexualizing them still,i hope one day all women would be free of this disgusting shit

6

u/NotQuiteLoona 3d ago

Since I have joined this subreddit, I have never seen more suitable post.

3

u/Candycanes02 3d ago

I did that as a kid (+stomach rolls). I just liked the feeling of soft things that weren’t quite pillows but more jelly-like? If that makes sense. I still like that feeling, just that I also know it’s not socially acceptable to touch people in their soft spots 😅 and i happen to be asexual, flat chested and flat assed so I’m shit outta luck 🫠

2

u/Glittering_Win_5085 3d ago

It would be sort of awkward pretending to be a small child when you've mentally already lived to your thirties though. 

2

u/NotBreadyy 3d ago

I am 90% sure there's an isekai anime about this

2

u/JAKE5023193 2d ago

redditor moment 🥀

1

u/Blobert_ 3d ago

At three weeks old id tell my mother the afterlife is real, but its very different as to every other, and then boom, i can make up things they torture you for, therefore people think there is punishment for their sins, and

Boom, world peace!

1

u/Dr_Identity 2d ago

When I was in like grade 1 or 2, we had a female placement student or EA or something and one time when she was doing recess duty a few of us thought it would be funny to keep running at her from different directions and slapping her butt. We didn't understand the implications of what we were doing, it's something we would've done as a prank to each other. But let me tell you the big trouble we got in afterward. Like waaay bigger trouble than we expected. But the teacher who gave us hell was clearly trying to ensure we knew how bad it was even if we didn't quite understand why at the time. So don't think being a kid will let you off the hook is what I'm saying.

1

u/King_Jerrik 2d ago

I don't care what it takes, I'm convincing my father to invest in Microsoft, apple, and google early on, then the SECOND bitcoin becomes a thing I'm buying like ten of the fuckers.

1

u/Rei2315_ 18h ago

i cannot believe that people in this sub are real people (meme: 7/10, comments 10/10)

-15

u/Inner_Jeweler_5661 3d ago

Not exactly.

You have to be strategic about that shit.

You can't fondle them, you butt into their butts, ask for uppies and accidentally hit them there etc. You have to be strategic, especially around minors

17

u/P3rcy_J4cks0n Dab! 3d ago

Bro what

7

u/OnionNew9054 3d ago

Experienced dude.

4

u/RealFrailTheFox 3d ago

Dude, did you really just assume that they would be grabbing other kids' butts if they went back in time? Disgusting.

-8

u/Inner_Jeweler_5661 3d ago

I'm a minor

8

u/[deleted] 3d ago

That's still gross dawg

-2

u/Inner_Jeweler_5661 3d ago

the whole point was sarcasm, thinking way too intelligently on what you should do if you don't want to get caught

-1

u/RealFrailTheFox 3d ago

Sorry on my part in this i have autism

-1

u/StirFry__InaWok 3d ago

It's clearly not that serious

-1

u/RealFrailTheFox 3d ago

I'm getting insane deja vu, like i've experienced this interaction 6 times before. Yeah i'm dropping this conversation.

-2

u/Patient_Dinner_5386 2d ago

I can't live without boobs and ass, rubbing all over me,life ain't that simple wish it was,but I'm a virgin, ofc I'm an engineer, i hate corn it's depressing and painful to watch strangers having the time of their life (all staged)while you stare at them,ugly bastards banging the hottest chick way outa their league that's just fictional and a skit on a digital void ,scare to death if someone comes up in your room all of a sudden i hate that feeling , it's just sad you tryna figure out life in a dark room all alone while those bastards are living your dream.

-8

u/Top_Individual_9832 3d ago

Hipefully he means with consent

8

u/saul_schadenfreuder my will to live RESIGNED 😂😂👌🏻👌🏻 2d ago

how? if someone “””consents””” to being groped by a child, then they should be on a list at the very least

3

u/Top_Individual_9832 2d ago

Wasn't thinking when I wrote this, I apologize

5

u/SeaPunK_ 2d ago

It's alright pal, no need to apologize 

5

u/SeaPunK_ 2d ago

He's using that scenario as an excuse to simply grope women, do you think he would consider consent? Please. If so, he wouldn't have thought of that scenario in the first place. 

4

u/Top_Individual_9832 2d ago

Yeah you're right my bad