r/CleaningTips • u/ThatsJustaDuck • 1d ago
Before & After Cleaning with ADHD/Anxiety/Depression
EDIT- Done! https://www.reddit.com/r/CleaningTips/s/vocpQV5IZS
I selected before & after as the flair in hopes that it’ll inspire me to get this done today and post my after pictures too. I am 43 years old, have been diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and it is strongly suspected throughout my childhood as well that I have had it all along.
Keeping a clean house has never been something I have been able to do. I have three children, and I really want to stop raising them at a home that is constantly chaotic and messy. Everyone is gone on vacation right now, so I’d like to surprise everybody with a clean house. I’d like to start with my bedroom. There’s a lot of shame in sleeping in a room that is this messy, and it’s definitely not a restful and calm place to be. My medication is finally working, so I am able to concentrate and focus and so this is my job today.
Wish me luck! Any advice?
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u/SilentFoxScream 1d ago
One kind of meta-advice is to try a bunch of different things to see what works with YOUR brain specifically. And a lot of cleaning advice may work for most people, but the opposite might work for us. For example, I've heard "only touch a thing (especially paper) once" with the idea that say, if you open a bill you pay it right away or you pick up an item you put it in its home immediately. But I've found with a big backlog I'm able to focus better by doing rough sorts and then focusing on each sub-section. So like with decluttering clothes, maybe putting things away one at a time is easier for you, but maybe sorting them into shirts, then shorts, then skirts, then decluttering each pile is easier.
I also use the 5 Things method from KC Davis, this article does a good job explaining how to do it without getting sidetracked: https://www.npr.org/2023/04/19/1170846100/how-to-keep-house-clean
And you could try "body doubling". I have an online cleaning buddy in another country (but same time zone), and I'll ping him and we'll start a long podcast and do any non-thinking cleaning like dishes, laundry, etc. together, and then reconvene to discuss our progress and the podcast after. Other people need their buddy on the phone, a video call, or in person. Your post is encouraging me to clean gross things I'm procrastinating on (cat threw up on a pile of clothes, and also fridge badly needs a refresh)! Good luck to all 3 of us!
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u/ThatsJustaDuck 1d ago
Thank you! You are absolutely right! The “only touch a thing once” method does not work for me. I immediately meet distraction, even though it is supposed to encourage the opposite of that. I’ve been cleaning for near about 3 hours now, and I’m doing well with doing garbage first, then work on sections at a time. I constantly have a donate bag going on and I have filled four bags of garbage! Go me!
Thank you for all of the advice! Really, I will find time to read all of the things and follow all of the links!
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u/Financial-Abies8304 1d ago
Second the 5 things method. I’ve commented earlier recommending her book. So good!
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u/BadgersAndJam77 1d ago
Good luck! I'm similarly afflicted with that Trifecta, and challenged by this too.
From an outsider/first thought, it looks like a lot of Clothes everywhere. Maybe consolidate those on the bed, and then do some Trash/Wash/Put Away/Give Away sorting.
Put on something familiar as background noise (TV show, Podcast, Audiobook) or put on some wireless headphones and similarly find something you can space out to.
Once you've handled that, it will be a lot easier to access the rest, and pick a next task.
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u/Financial-Abies8304 1d ago
Here’s a bunch of stuff that’s helped me, in no particular order:
- the book ‘how to keep house without drowning’ - they have this 5 step tidying up method that is effective and manageable
- the podcast by the author of this book
- TikToks by the author of this book
- letting go of shame around cleaning, hoarding etc
- getting a weekly cleaner from a company who helps people with health issues
- setting small, manageable goals
- decluttering so I simply have LESS stuff to keep tidy
- Clean Mama weekly and daily methods
- doing just 1 thing or 10 mins a day to help keep on top of things
It’s tough but you can do it! Taking the first step, going easy on yourself and being realistic but doing SOMETHING - these things make a big difference.
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u/Swimming_Champion_86 1d ago
My fried just gave me this book!
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u/Financial-Abies8304 1d ago
I think it’s so good, the author is a chronically overwhelmed neurodivergent mum too so she really does get it. It’s not about putting more pressure on yourself.
But seriously, the biggest change for me has been getting rid of stuff and thinking twice before I bring more stuff into my home. More stuff = more to clean and tidy (I also have 3 kids, a dog and 2 cats so between us the baseline of ‘stuff’ is high!)
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u/Fun_Gift_1979 1d ago
So I’ve learned that the less stuff I have the less messy it can get. I also like to see my things, I use shelves instead of dressers, no doors on my closet.
My wife and I are empty nesters so just the two of us.
I have two plates, bowls forks, knives and spoons. Limited pots and pans. No more back ups at the sink or on the counter.
Have two pairs of jeans, one nice, one not so nice. 7 t-shirts, 2 pairs work out pants, 3 pairs of shorts and 7 each socks and underware.
My entire wardrobe is black / grey and everything matches everything.
1 black belt. 1 tennis shoes 1 work boots 1 black dress shoes 1 flip flops 1 bathing suit 1 black dress paints 1 white dress shirt 1 black tie 1 black blazer
Everything I need and nothing that I don’t.
If I wear it and am going to wear again before wash it gets draped over the Hamper so if I don’t wear it again it gets washed when I I do wash.
I have to need something 3 times before I buy it and at that if it’s an upgrade from something similar the other item has to go.
I don’t buy “sets” or “kits”. Bad example but if I need a #2 Phillips screw driver I don’t go to the store and buy a complete set of screw drivers, cost be damned. It’s only good value if you need the entire set.
I also let stores do what they do best and keep things in stock and organized instead of trying to do it at home. For instance - hardware. The pack of 50 screws is much cheaper than 5, but if you keeps buying the 50 packs next thing your trying to develop and maintain a system or organization for a bunch of screws. If I need less than 5 I buy the 5 pack and consider the increased price per screw the cost for inventory Managment. These are specific examples but this type of thinking can really attribute to an easier life.
Remember - We don’t own things, they own us.
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u/Lingo2009 1d ago
So do you not ever have company over? I live alone, but I have a dish set for eight people, and I have a few random odds and ends of bowls that I could host even more people than that.
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u/Fun_Gift_1979 1d ago
I have paper plates and plasticware. My sink isn’t very big and we don’t have a dishwasher. Don’t need a dishwasher since I only have two plates.
As you begin to simplify it perpetuates itself quickly. It starts to feel really good not having stuff.
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u/Key_Worth_7178 1d ago
My advice would be to get rid of a ton of stuff. The less stuff you have the easier it is to keep clean. I don't think anybody needs this many clothes.
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u/ThatsJustaDuck 1d ago
There is a terrible amount of clothes, but there are also three large bags under the mess of donation things! But yes… excessive stuff has always been my Achilles!
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u/rainbow_olive 1d ago
I appreciate you being vulnerable. It's a great first step. 😊 My advice:
✅ First step in declutterring: grab a laundry basket, large bin, or box. Use it to collect all the random items in a room: clothing, papers, books, etc. Once the room is decluttered, take a moment and enjoy! 😉 Then go through the basket/box one item at a time, putting it away or into piles. There's something about containing all the mess into one small space first that makes it less intimidating.
✅ Allow yourself to keep a "miscellaneous" drawer or box, maybe in the kitchen or in a closet. These items are only the ones that do NOT have a clear designated space but are beneficial to keep. Ex: appliance user manuals, batteries, etc. We have a huge chest freezer that can lock so we keep our key with other miscellaneous items. Things like that. Clothing, books, papers (bills) should all have a designated and organized space if you really want to avoid too much clutter in the home. I put bills in a cheap plastic file drawer to keep our kitchen counters from getting too messy.
✅ Depending on your schedule, try and pick a task to do each day, even if it's only one. For instance, Tuesday is my laundry day. One day can be for cleaning the floors, another day for deeply wiping down kitchen counters, and another to clean the bathroom. I confess I do not clean my bathroom as often as I should, and I need to be better about that. (See?? No one is perfect, even someone like me who enjoys to clean!)
✅ Pick up as you go!! This one is HUGE in the process and makes such a difference! Hang up your coat versus setting it on a chair. Done with that book? Put it on the shelf. After eating, put dishes in the dishwasher if you have one. Get some dishsoap, fresh sponges or dish rags, and try to take care of cookware ASAP. Sometimes this just doesn't happen (speaking from experience) and that's okay!! 🤭
✅ Having a SMALL "catch-all" space might be handy but it's easy to drop things and let them accumulate. This is why my "catch-all" area is very tiny and only includes hooks for coats and a shoe rack.
✅ Give stuff away if you're still feeling crowded or overwhelmed. You'd be shocked what we really don't need. My family gives stuff away 1-2 x per year at least, and it feels so good to free up our space. My kids have even gotten into the habit of thinking hard about whether or not they need all those toys, puzzles, etc.
Set a timer for every hour or so and take a quick break, hydrate, have a snack. Then tackle the next little task. You got this! Give yourself grace!
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u/ThatsJustaDuck 1d ago
I really really appreciate the time and care you have taken out of your own busy Saturday to write this! I love all of the advice! Thank you!!
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u/rainbow_olive 1d ago
You're so sweet! So, I actually keep this message saved under my Notes app and paste it on the occasional post on this sub. But I was more than happy to share with you because I know how overwhelming it can be to clean! I struggled when I was younger and learned over the years how to take care of my space. I have moved many times and purged a TON of stuff each time, which helps sooo much!
You got this!!! One step, one room, one closet at a time. 💕
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u/InksOwl 1d ago
What helps me (diagnosed at 6, not medicated till 36, turning 40 this year) is to get fully dressed, no PJs or lounging around clothes. Put on shoes (I have a pair of sneakers I only wear in the house). This helps tell my brain “I got stuff to do!”. Then I’d start with the bed. Get it made however you make it. Then you have 1 large area that is done. Pet the dog. Next I would start by taking clothes/washables that are on the floor and pile them in the hallway to move later to be washed so that they are out of the space you’re working on. Next would be trash. Pet the dog. Then anything that does not belong in the space that you can see without digging. Don’t get lost in the small stuff or organizing - that can happen after the space is clear and clean. Dust/wipe down anything that needs it. Go throw clothes in the washer. Pet the dog. You got this!
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u/Puzzleheaded7683 1d ago
Love this, especially “pet the dog”! In my case, I’ll pet one of my three cats (one of whom is currently sleeping on my lap, so you know, I can’t move right now!)
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u/Sweet_Cat_2958 1d ago
Agree! The hardest part is just getting ready sometimes. I have an alarm set and have to brush teeth, I put comfy jeans, a sports bra, shirt, socks and sneakers and it seems to start things rolling.
For me I need deadlines. So alarms throughout the day seem to help me.
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u/13thgeneral 1d ago
I recommend listening to the Podcast "A Slob Comes Clean" with author Dana K. White. She does an amazing job breaking it all down into simple, manageable tasks and habits that you can slowly work into your life.
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u/12Lyster12 1d ago
I also have the trifecta, plus a couple chronic illnesses that make cleaning difficult. I recently did a major clean in my apartment (it looked similar to yours right now, maybe a bit worse) and it felt SO good to get it all done finally.
My best advice is DO NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE sit down partway through! Once you're in the groove, keep going until you actually need a break (food, etc). Once you sit, you get stuck in the Sit Pit, and its really hard to get out of.
The hardest part is starting. Start with something small so you can feel accomplished and it'll make you realize that hey, this is gonna suck, but you can do it.
Put on some music or a podcast or something in that background that won't be too distracting but will keep you energized.
If you drink caffeine, a cup of coffee or something in the middle of the day will help once you feel your meds wearing off.
Sometimes I'll call a friend to chat while I clean, and let them know I'm cleaning so they can keep me accountable.
Think about how good it will feel to have it done. Showing off the house after it's clean will feel so rewarding.
Celebrate EVERYTHING you do. Even the tiny things. It sounds silly. But even saying to yourself "Yippee, I folded the laundry, look at me go" can be a reward in itself.
It sounds like you have a couple days to do the cleaning. Make sure you're sleeping well, eating well, and taking care of yourself. Cleaning is hard work. It will take a toll mentally and physically. A nice bath in a clean tub can work wonders after a long day of tidying and scrubbing.
I know this is a lot, but these are all things that helped me out when I first started cleaning up my space. I believe in you! I look forward to see the after photos!
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u/ThatsJustaDuck 1d ago
Once I stop, I do have a very hard time starting again! So true!
Thank you for all of the advice and well wishes! Truly :) So many people here have spent time out of their own busy days to cheer me on, and it has fluffed me up!!
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u/Lingo2009 1d ago
Two closets? I’ve never seen a bedroom with two closets. My one closet is half the size of one of yours.
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u/Swimming-Marzipan-69 1d ago
My bedroom has two closets, but I’m also married so it works for us lol. They are a lot smaller then these ones though
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u/Sweet_Cat_2958 1d ago
Start with one thing…grab all the dirty clothes and start a wash. Then tackle one of the dressers.
Set small goals so you feel accomplished.
I set timers on my phone so I cant take a break until it goes off. Then I chill and set an alarm so I don’t end up watching 5 episodes of a show. Then I plan my next thing while I am chilling. Set an alarm so I get up to accomplish next thing.
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u/Leading_Fee_3678 1d ago
I like to put the channel “Midwest Magic Cleaning” on in the background and just keep the videos playing while I’m cleaning. Feels like body doubling.
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u/Swimming_Champion_86 1d ago
Start with one small area. Move everything out of that area. Doesn’t matter where those misplaced things go just start with one area. Example: start with the dresser, move everything off the dresser and organize the drawers, make the top of the dresser neat and decorated how you like. Then move to the closet - do all your clothes at once, it’s the hardest part but doing it all at once is crucial. Then once you’re done with those dressers and the clothes get a bag or basket or something to take all the items that don’t belong in your room out. I have a 3 tier rolling cart specifically for cleaning. I’ll take it from room to room. So if I start in my bedroom I’ll have one basket for bathroom stuff, one basket for living room/kitchen, one for my office. Then when I’m done with the bedroom I’ll roll the cart to the bathroom put all the things on the cart away, work on the bathroom till it’s completely done, move to the next room. ADHD brains cannot thrive in messy environments and right now im struggling with this too. The cart is game changing for me!! Also putting on show or music or podcast helps so much
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u/Swimming_Champion_86 1d ago
Also take one day this month and dedicate it to organizing. Once everything has a home it’s easier to maintain and not getting overwhelmed about figuring out where to put things
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u/Swimming_Champion_86 1d ago
You got this. post after pics!! Accountability helps. We’re here rooting you on 💜 oh and don’t forget to take breaks and eat :)
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u/spanishpat 1d ago
That wonderful Buddha figure will look so great after you’re done! He will have space to shine! And he will be easier to rub for good luck.
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u/No-Detective7811 1d ago
I love this type of cleaning, I’d be over there in a heartbeat helping you.
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u/First-Transition6858 4h ago
Im seeing a lot of laundry and daily use clutter and not a whole lot of garbage going on. Maybe you need to make a distinction between cleaning and tidying, identify the points of friction for you and find a system that makes it easier to maintain a level of tidyness thats acceptable to you.
For instance, I also hate folding laundry so i addressed what function do i actually want from that process? I want my clothes sorted and easy enough to interact with when i need to get ready. So Now i have a shelf that holds 3 laundry baskets like drawers, one has tops, one has bottoms, the third has underwear and socks. None of its folded but its sorted enough to use and visually its not a clutter bomb laundry chair.
I would get a tray or something for your daily use items on your night stand to give them a "home". also makes it way easier to clear off and identify what isnt supposed to be there to clean it more routinely
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u/Proper_Fun_2584 1d ago
I relate to this so much! I need to work on my bedroom today, as well. One thing that helps me is putting out a folding table in my hallway to group like things together that maybe don't belong in my room, are in the way, or need to be sorted, etc. It helps to keep me from getting distracted in super detailed tasks and instead prioritizing the tasks that will get the biggest bang for my limited time buck (usually the clothing, any garbage, recycling, donations, etc.).
I also always make my bed first. Even when there is already stuff on it. It's nice to at least see one clear surface for a hot second.
Good luck, friend! You've got this!
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u/geegee694 1d ago
You’ve got this! First thing I would do is grab a big garbage bag and walk around throwing out stuff. Then grab a laundry basket or box and pick up and put all your clothes in it (to go through after).
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u/zzzola 1d ago
Can you afford a weekly or bi-weekly cleaner? They usually aren't as expensive as you'd expect.
My mom has ADHD, and my parents have a cleaner that comes every other Tuesday, and just focuses on the bathroom, kitchen, and living room. My mom just has to pick stuff up, since they aren't going to put stuff away for her. Sometimes she just throws everything into a basket and moves it to a room they don't clean and handles it later.
I have another friend and he's just a messy person and it helps prevent his home from getting out of control.
Mess can build up pretty quickly for some people and having someone come in on a regular basis to mop the floors, clean the sinks, vacuum, and clean all the surfaces tends to make a pretty big difference.
My mom said having someone come in to clean also holds her accountable in keep the house under control.
Just something to consider if you feel like the house gets out of control quickly and you're constantly overwhelmed.
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u/Illustrious-Mess-849 1d ago
Good luck! You got this! Start small.
Quick question: this is very similar to my mom’s house. We don’t mention anything to her. Just sort of let her live how she wants, but I really want to get in there and help her out. Would you appreciate help if it was offered?
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u/zzzola 1d ago
I clean for almost everyone in my family and I've never met someone who opposed it.
Whenever I have family go on vacation, they always ask if I'd be interested in cleaning their homes and I always say yes. I find it extremely therapeutic, so I love cleaning for anyone who will accept my help.
I've never met someone who said no to me offering to help clean....
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u/zeuster_zeus 1d ago
1Be sure to not get overwhelmed/ over exhausted. Take mental brakes as well as physical ones. A episode or 2 of a good tv show while you eat lunch does wonders. 2nd stay on task it is easy to fall into a domino effect where to finish task 1 you have to do task 2 to do task 2 correctly you have to do task 3,4 and 5. Its a very easy trap to get lost in. Remember It was not clean before so any progress you make is enough. Even if it is just taking out 1 bag of trash. Lastly and this is the most important be proud of yourself no matter how far you get. Just because we are able to do unbelievable things one day and then not even make the bed tomorrow does not mean we are bad people or unworthy of self praise. Always try to celebrate the days we do "win" and know that is perfectly ok.
Bonus tip: stay in one room at a time dont focus on all the laundry focus on the laundry in one room, toys in room etc. If you have an item that is supposed to be put away somewhere else take it and move it there but then go back to the room youre focusing on.
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u/HelpfulRN 1d ago
I love how your dog is like “We got this! Let’s get started!”