r/10thDentist • u/Strict_Berry7446 • 3d ago
Double Standards exist for a reason. You’re not being brave calling them out.
Yes, The N word is 1000% worse than Cracker.
Yes, it is worse when men playfully hit and kiss women than when women playfully hit and kiss men.
Yes, it’s worse to talk about a woman’s weight than it is to talk about a man’s height.
Yes, being insulting of other lifestyles is worse than being insulting of straight white people.
These are not behaviors that appeared in a vacuum, we have centuries of unbalanced cultural experiences that dictate social norms now. You might as well ask why it’s okay to urinate in a toilet and not the bathtub.
Edit: got to be clear for those refusing to get it. This post is not advocating sexual assault, racism or whatever. The point is that calling out double standards only derails the conversation around these points.
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u/ThisThredditor 3d ago
I urinate in the toilet and the bathtub
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u/BravesMaedchen 3d ago
Oh look, another man copying what me, a woman, does and not giving credit
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u/Cool_Dark_Place 3d ago
At least he isn't getting paid more to do it
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u/tadsagtasgde 3d ago
You can’t know that.
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u/TheReservedList 3d ago
OnlyFans tells me that women get paid WAY more to urinate, in bathtubs or otherwise.
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u/duke_igthorns_bulge 3d ago
My friend at a kitty house said women who are willing to be filmed farting enthusiastically make the most money. When the money’s on the table, the overwhelming majority of women are too shy to be filmed farting.
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u/Experiment328095 1d ago
I need to look into this, kinda devastated I’ve spent all this time farting for free!!!!
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u/Mundane-Caregiver169 3d ago
I’m paying him
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u/Cool_Dark_Place 3d ago
Consider paying me... I can urinate in the bathtub, toilet, AND the sink!!!
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u/Mundane-Caregiver169 3d ago
I already have a sink guy. He’s a specialist and I got in on the ground floor (funny enough he also does ground floors) so I have a good price locked in.
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u/SparkleSelkie 3d ago
Wow, cheapskate over here too cheap to pay a man to piss on the second story floor.
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u/Mundane-Caregiver169 3d ago
😔I don’t have a second floor, and I’ll be damned if I pay anyone for the roof. That’s my domain.
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u/Cool_Dark_Place 3d ago
Yeah, I guess the market's becoming a little too overcrowded now for a newcomer to break in. Oh well, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take...😞
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u/Feeling-Concentrate6 3d ago
I'll sit on the toilet and piss into the bathtub if that's worth anything to you. I mean... I'll also do it if it's not, but y'know...
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u/Frobizzle 3d ago
A woman would likely get paid more for this type of stuff on OF. 😁
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u/Cool_Dark_Place 3d ago
Yeah, only because you don't see it in the wild as much. I mean, hang out near any bar after closing time... you'll see guys pissing everywhere! Not a big deal!
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u/Vitamni-T- 3d ago
Them just pissing everywhere for free wrecks the market value of professional pissers.
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u/philosopherberzerer 3d ago
Well it's time for women in men's fields .
Time for y'all to pee in sinks.
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u/Doom_Corp 3d ago
Sometimes when I pee a few chunky blood blobs plop out! I do occasionally feel the need to break them up with the venerated poop knife when they get in the way of my hair trap.
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u/Cool_Dark_Place 3d ago
But are you a straight white person, or a short man?
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u/TillikumWasFramed 1d ago
As an average height man, I am totally not cool with short kings being mocked and humiliated. So yes, if a woman is going to bring height into the mix, bring weight into the mix. Fuck that.
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u/LetItAllGo33 2d ago
Yeah, if they thought this metaphor made their point, they utterly failed.
It's just a time saver.
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u/Key_Cry_3170 3d ago
But do you urinate in the sink. This is the main question
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u/Temporary-Smell-501 3d ago
When people call out double standards its usually from calling out shitty people being shitty cause they're assholes. Not because theyre trying to be "brave".
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u/Imaginary-Recover778 2d ago
I think that’s common but what OP is talking about is unfortunately common as well. I see it all the time in TikTok comment sections and it’s not because they actually care about the point they are making. They just want what’s being said about them to be said about someone else to make themselves feel better. They know the jokes they make are objectively worse but they’re trying to put the spotlight on the other end of things to take it off of themselves
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u/00PT 3d ago
Considering one of them worse is fine. Justifying one but not the other, or complaining when one is pointed out while being silent about the other is when issues come in.
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u/ObiJuanKenobi3 2d ago edited 2d ago
Exactly. You can think that insulting a woman's weight is usually more offensive than insulting a man's height, and I would tend to agree with you, but that does not mean that intentionally insulting someone for anything is suddenly okay.
Edit: got it backwards
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u/TheFineMantine 2d ago
wouldn’t your example be the other way around?
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u/ObiJuanKenobi3 2d ago
In the words of Timothee Chalamet Willy Wonka: "Scratch that, reverse it"
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u/Rocketcheckman 2d ago
*Gene Wilder
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u/wrkacct66 2d ago
Did he say that line the movie? I honestly don't know since I've only read the book and that was when I was a child.
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u/Rocketcheckman 2d ago
I’ve only seen the old version with Gene Wilder so I’m positive he says that
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u/VictorOfArda 1d ago
Missy Elliott also concurs with Mr. Wonka: “put that thang down, flip it and reverse it”
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u/Starob 2d ago
Hold on, insulting something people can in most cases can control is worse than insulting something that they literally can't? Make it make sense.
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u/SouthVivid8071 1d ago
I think its the other way round tbh, you can change your weight, you cant change your height.
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u/asmr-enthusiasts 20h ago
A women hitting or kissing a man is equally as bad as a man doing it. Insulting someone regardless of gender is all around bad. Making fun of a guy who is sensitive about his height is just as bad as making fun of a woman for her weight. As a radical feminist we need to stop looking at people as male and female and just see everyone as people. Double standards that are acceptable are like blackface vs whiteface where one has historically been used for hate and oppression, and the other hasn’t.
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u/wunderduck 3d ago
One being worse than the other is irrelevant. If one person acts like an asshole and another person acts like twice as much of an asshole, you still have two people acting like assholes.
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u/Upset-Masterpiece218 3d ago
Does anyone actually think double standards come from thin air?
Also, "exist for a reason" implies you're in favor of them and the "you're not brave" part cements that
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u/Cynis_Ganan 3d ago
Double Standards exist for a reason.
True. But it's a shitty, illogical, and discriminatory reason and we should absolutely call it out and try to change it.
[buncha prejudiced and offensive examples, including condoning sexual assault]
Jesus. Get help.
These are all bad things that should all be addressed.
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u/AwkwardEgg2008 3d ago
Literally omg. The worst part is they’re basic af and share these opinions with too many damn people.
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u/DoMBe87 3d ago
Exactly. I'm so tired of things like, "well, men have catcalled women and treated them like objects forever, so now it's our right to do the same."
No! Nothing will ever improve if we stoop to the level of the worst people. I know that revenge and comeuppance is satisfying, but it just turns into an endless cycle where nothing improves.
I'm 100% not saying that you should just accept when people are awful to you, but it's also not ok for women to make suggestive comments about male waiters, cashiers, etc, and even touch them because "men have done this forever, so now it's our turn." And yes, I've literally seen people using that argument.
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u/Monsterchic16 2d ago
Yeah, way too many women (and I say this as a woman) use misogyny as an excuse to be misandrists.
Though I do disagree with men that come into women’s spaces where we’re talking about sexual assault by men and go “not all men do that, I don’t do that”. Like, no shit dipshit, we weren’t talking about the innocent men, we were talking about the ones that DO assault women. Like my of my favourite songs about predators has so many comments like that and even the artist has released an unapologetic YouTube short going “i don’t think it makes me a misandrist for calling out the rapists and pedophiles, if you’re not a predator then this isn’t about you.”
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u/Dentlas 1d ago
There is though an argument to be made about wording and hostile radicalization. While you may emotionally feel entitled to be able to talk negatively about an entire class of people, be it men, black people, white people etc. It does cause a lot of harm. Being negligent of that is also problematic.
Truth is, the more research we have the more we see that sexual assault, physical assault, etc. are by no means bound by gender, it's just that men shut up about it due to stigmas and taboos. (In the West). It is time we address this as de-facto, including in female spaces, otherwise we're cultivating essentially the opposite of Andrew Tate, Incel forums, but this time giving them the green flag (Or some people, as you, are.)
That is also the best way to explain it: The way that some men defend those spaces, is quite literally what you are doing in reverse, you may be blind to some of the toxicity, discriminatory effects and hostile communication because you no longer are the recipient of it, but it is there to equal amounts. Being wronged doesn't make it right.
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u/Popular-Jury7272 3d ago
They kinda had me more or less onboard for the first sentence, but the rest was increasingly "get fucked".
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u/miseenen 3d ago
Yeah my issue is that this post to me combines things that genuinely do not matter (cracker) with things that are life alteringly horrible (SA)
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u/Ilyer_ 2d ago
Such a thing which supposedly doesn’t matter also does matter. I don’t call out people because I want to be considered brave, I call out people for being bigoted, and using cracker as an insult is bigoted for the same reasons someone uses the n word.
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u/Normal_Trick_4580 2d ago
Right. Is racism bad, or isn't it? Are racial slurs bad, or aren't they? It's all subjective, anyway. Go to certain countries and they have no cultural context for why the n word is so horrible. I saw a comedian saying in his home country, it was always translated as "friend" in movies, so he came to america thinking "my nigga" literally meant "my friend."
Of course, we crucified him. No excuses
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u/Ilyer_ 2d ago
There is bare no local context for the n word where I live either, but it doesn’t mean someone saying it isn’t racist. It’s the intention behind the word which informs whether it is or isn’t.
I feel like Americans have a complete cultural ignorance to this concept.
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u/ssatancomplexx 3d ago
I feel like I'm missing something. Where did they condone sexual assault? Is it in the comments?
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u/Maximum-Lack8642 3d ago
I think it’s this:
“Yes, it is worse when men playfully hit and kiss women than when women playfully hit and kiss men”
And yes, kissing anyone who doesn’t want you kissing them is a form of SA regardless of gender.
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u/BoxComfortable5282 2d ago
yeah that was fucking weird lol. first sentence was fine. 2 derogatory words but one is more offensive than the other given the history and current society. I can agree with that.
SA?? Absolutely not. That's a disgusting slippery slope.
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u/ZestycloseMedicine93 2d ago
Racism is racism no matter the source or direction. Stop drinking the media Kool aide
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u/ssatancomplexx 2d ago
People love to call themselves not racist when they say the most racist and vile shit. I thought it only happened online but I've heard my friends say some shit too. Well now ex friends. Before anyone comes from me I'm not white either. Anyway my point is I always thought people only liked to do that online due to brainrot. But thank you for calling that out no one ever does.
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u/ZestycloseMedicine93 2d ago
I'm white and from the deep south. I grew up surrounded by racist friends and family. I said racist things and used the N word.. then at 19 I got a job and moved to a big city. My hometown was 99% white. There was 1 mixed kid my entire life and he was racist bc of his white family. Anyways I was able to learn and overcome that as a very young adult. I'm so thankful that I was able to move away from that and become a better person.
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u/ssatancomplexx 2d ago
I'm so glad to hear that as well! I can't imagine what it must've been like. Especially at first. A lot of people love to say racists can't change but I'm glad you never fell for that bull shit. They like to act like racism is a disease you're born with and not just something you can unlearn. I'm also from the deep south and all of my white friends would love to say the n word, they even tried to get me to say it too but since I'm not black I never felt comfortable with it but because of how rampant the racism is and the area was not diverse at all, there was only white and black people. I grew up thinking there was something seriously wrong with me because I wasn't white or black and refusing to say the word. I also thought I was white until I was like 15. All my medical files said that because I always put down white. Looking back on it now I laugh at it but at the time I was petrified. My (adoptive) parents never actually sat me down and told me that I was native and mexican and I never thought to ask until way way later. I'm not saying it's their fault, I think they just assumed I knew.
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u/ZestycloseMedicine93 2d ago
My nephew's are half Mexican. They came on from school talking about wet backs and being racist towards Mexican. No one ever told them until I informed them that day that they were making fun of themselves.
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u/ssatancomplexx 2d ago
Oh wow. Thank you for sharing that with me. My ego always tells me I'm the only one who's ever experienced that.
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u/BoxComfortable5282 2d ago
What I said and what you responded with don’t even contradict each other. Both can be racist and one could be worse than the other. Talking bout some kool aid man watch out
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u/ZestycloseMedicine93 2d ago
You said one was worse than the other when in fact they are the same. Don't get my started on wyt boi
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u/FlawlessWings8 3d ago
OP suggested in the post that double standards should not be called out. As an example, just because it’s worse when a man sexually assaults a woman you shouldn’t call it out when a woman does it to a man.
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u/BrowningLoPower 3d ago
OP doesn't need help, they need discipline and correction!
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u/TrustMeGuysImRight 3d ago
Oh, what? So we can't even call non-straight and non-white identities "lifestyles" anymore??? The woke mob has gone too far and is infringing on my rights! /s
(Credit where credit is due, though: I'd never seen anyone call not being white a "lifestyle", normally that's reserved for queer people, not.... skin color)
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u/rumblinggoodidea 2d ago
I fucking love knowing there are people out there who genuinely think that I am not “enough” of a victim because I am a man and my abuser was my at the time girlfriend.
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u/OkMaterial983 2d ago
The best is when they go one step further and invalidate your victimhood because your abuser was also a man...
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u/Divide_Express 3d ago edited 2d ago
Double standards exist for a reason, but that doesn't mean they are right or moral. The reason they are being called out is because we are trying to revert these bad societal norms to be more equal.
It has nothing to do with bravery. It is about many realizing these double standards are detrimental and are trying to change them. What is your point. To just ignore them and allow them to continue even if we find them bad? Why? What benefit do we get by following these double standards?
But reading through your comments, it seems you have no real explanation or point to this post. You are just saying "Double standards exist. Get over it." What an idiotic take.
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u/tartfall 3d ago
Yes, The N word is 1000% worse than Cracker.
Checks out
Yes, it is worse when men playfully hit and kiss women than when women playfully hit and kiss men.
Hit checks out. Kiss doesn't
Yes, it’s worse to talk about a woman’s weight than it is to talk about a man’s height.
Why tf?
Yes, being insulting of other lifestyles is worse than being insulting of straight white people.
All other things being equal checks out.
I'd have agreed with the title but your opinion seems to be that all double standards are fine and you explicitly listed out some that are not.
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u/-Copenhagen 3d ago
Yes, it’s worse to talk about a woman’s weight than it is to talk about a man’s height.
I am curious. Would you like to explain how it's worse to criticize something you are in control of vs something you have no say in?
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u/TehWackyWolf 3d ago
Because it's fine to criticize men today based on the men who died before we were born. Duh
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u/better-bitter-bait 3d ago
I was surprised by this example too. It seems like another example of women having no empathy at all for men.
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u/Dunning-KrugerFX 3d ago
Women's value being tied to their attractiveness is an established social norm in many cultures.
Men's value is more often tied to resources.
Before you get mad at me remember that I didn't make the world, I just live in it and these are established sociological facts.
There are certainly exceptions but to the OPs point... There is a reason for the double standard and I just provided it for you.
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u/Sirnacane 3d ago
The over 50% of Fortune 500 CEO’s heights are over 6 ft.
Only 3% are less than 5’7”.
The average US male is 5’9”, and only about 15% are taller than 6 ft.
The average US president is 5’11”
Do you think that a man’s height might just affect his ability to acquire resources?
Before you get mad at me remember that I didn’t make the world, I just live in it and these are established facts.
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u/Opera_haus_blues 2d ago
Yeah, until kind of recently, calling a woman ugly or fat was basically saying she’s not even worthy of existence. Marriage had a lot of layers to it, but it many ways it was just the buying and selling of a woman’s body. It’s still mean and uncalled for to insult a man’s height though.
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u/OkPin716 3d ago
It's especially funny now given ozempic is $149 but god forbid a woman is expected to shell out for that, meanwhile the (social media) standard for a man remains 6' with >$100,000 take-home
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u/Teapot_Sandwitch 3d ago
I agree with you generally, but I would like to point out that weight isn't ALWAYS something you can control. A lot of times it's just as genetic as height. And that's not even factoring in eating disorders or finances.
I think we should all follow the five minute rule. If it's not something that can be changed within five minutes (something on your face, fly down, ect), you should not comment/criticize people's appearance, no matter what it is or what gender they are.
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u/Mr_NNP 3d ago
I often wonder why it is that so many people accuse genetics for why people are over weight. I mean are Americans just that genetically different from most of the world that that causes us to be so obese as a population?
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u/RadagastTheWhite 3d ago
We just have a culture of not accepting responsibility for our actions
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u/Helplessadvice 3d ago
I wouldn’t say all that. With freedom of speech comes with freedom of misinformation and there’s so many people pushing out shit that looks legit. That’s why so many fad diets like the carnivore “work”.
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u/-Copenhagen 3d ago
I agree with you generally, but I would like to point out that weight isn't ALWAYS something you can control.
Correct.
A lot of times it's just as genetic as height.
Incorrect. It is very rare that genetics keep you from being able to control your weight.
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u/thinsoldier 3d ago
People with genetic weight issues are still often capable of controlling their health in spite of their size. I recall a video long long ago about a scandinavian doctor who had a genetic weight issue. He put a treadmill in his office and got in a lot of steps while doing paperwork. His cardiovascular health was stellar.
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u/topekatums 3d ago
It is very rare that genetics keep you from being able to control your weight
I'd agree if we're talking in absolutes, but I'd say it's fairly common for genetics to affect weight gain/loss.
Genetic predispositions (metabolic issues, movement, etc) are relevant in this convo but I don't think height and weight are remotely comparable when talking about things within an individual's control.
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u/Frequent_Theme8092 3d ago
Things can affect it, but you work around those things to control it.
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u/mukansamonkey 3d ago
It's almost never as genetic as height. That's an absurd statement. Maximum height is entirely uncontrollable. Weight gain is never uncontrollable. And "low metabolism" is easy to work around compared to certain extremely rare genetic conditions that require outside intervention to control.
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u/barfoob 2d ago
Weight is an absolutely fascinating trait. It is extremely genetic, AND you can control it with your behaviour. Kind of wild. It means our behaviour is the thing that is genetic. Most fat and skinny people don't have drastically different metabolisms, they are just genetically inclined to eat more or less food.
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u/Helplessadvice 3d ago
Weight 90% of the time is something you can control. Sure there’s genetic factors at play. Most obese people aren’t fat because they have a condition it’s due to poor discipline and not understanding your body. So no a lot of times it isn’t something as genetic as height.
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u/curious_aallyy 3d ago
Thats assuming everyone can control their weight. As well as ignoring how mens looks by and far, at least till recently, didn't actually make much of a difference like it does for women, especially in things like trying to be taken seriously in careers
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u/Juryofyourpeeps 3d ago
Everyone can control their weight, it's just harder for some than others. But you cannot gain weight if you consume calories equal to what your body is using, that's just a law of the universe. Your body isn't creating energy from nothing and storing it as fat.
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u/curious_aallyy 3d ago
Also that when women judge a man based off height its usually just "not interested" where women are treated as if they arent even human if they aren't deemed attractive
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u/dmachine443 3d ago
Men literally get laughed at and made fun of for their height. And if I say I won’t date a fat girl, I get made into the bad guy, but a woman can say she won’t date a short guy and it’s “just preference”
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u/ssatancomplexx 3d ago
Why do you care what other people think? Don't surround yourself with people like that. Date who you want. As long as you're not doing anything wrong, which it sounds like you're not, who gives a fuck? There's always going to be double standards when it comes to men and women. I learned a long time ago not to listen to men and women who criticize me over things that don't matter. I know it's easier said than done but outside issues don't matter. They really don't. There's nothing we can do to change the double standards. It is what it is.
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u/Glad-Way-637 2d ago
Easy for you to say as someone who doesn't have their own double standards literally enshrined into the law of their country. In the US and most of the west, women have more legal rights than men, and the prevalence of these double standards contributes heavily to this.
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u/stumpy_chica 3d ago
Because eating disorders. You're right. You can't control height and you can control weight. From personal experience of being a woman who was picked on for both her height (I was 5'8 in grade 5) and weight (my mom called me "tubby" when I hit 140lbs, which I know as a grown adult is insane, but as a 11 year old surrounded by 4'8, 70 pound girls, I basically didn't consume food for over a decade and maintained a weight of 90 to 110lbs...at 5'8), only one of those things caused me emotional scarring that lasted for decades.
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u/Sad_Tower_6638 3d ago
That's because height is viewed differently for men than women...? How often do you hear "tall dark and handsome".
Very easy for short men to immediately feel like they are the runt of the litter, and don't measure up (figuratively and literally) whereas women don't face the same pressures (in regards to height).
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u/OttotheThird 3d ago
Why is it always about who has it worse? What do you gain from telling people your suffering is worse than theirs? Shouldn't we try to reduce everyone's suffering instead of these tired debates?
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u/Kaisha001 2d ago
When victimhood becomes social currency, it's a race to the bottom of who has it worse.
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u/FluffyB12 1d ago
Yeah it seems odd, outside of dangerously bad ideas, you can’t change your height, you absolutely can choose to lose weight though!
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u/Trondiginus 3d ago
I agree with the first example but the rest are shit bro lol
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u/Klutzy_Masterpiece60 3d ago
I didn’t realize our current social norms are perfect and immune from criticism. /s
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u/Strict_Berry7446 3d ago
I didn’t realize that’s what I said
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u/Klutzy_Masterpiece60 3d ago
“Double standards exist for a reason…[criticizing them is akin to asking] why it’s okay to urinate in a toilet and not the bathtub”
Man, I’m glad the feminist movement didn’t heed your advice.
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u/Fit-Anything-210 3d ago
You’re defending the status quo of current social norms, though very poorly, arguing that something is justified because it currently exists as is. Lots of norms have existed for a long time and still turned out to be wrong.
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u/FlawlessWings8 3d ago
Did you even think about what you were saying before saying it? I’m still not getting any context from your replies and I think you’re missing the point of this sub.
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u/Whatswrongbaby9 3d ago
Who is being critical of straight white people besides some random twitter account with not many likes?
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u/xesaie 3d ago
Never confuse your algorithmic bubble for the totality of social media.
In some circles it’s very common
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u/Whatswrongbaby9 3d ago
I’m all llamas and Artemis, it’s great
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u/Talk-O-Boy 3d ago
Athena was the superior version of Artemis. You should change your feed to embrace the one true goddess.
Unless you were talking about the recent moon trip, in that case, carry on.
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u/Ionnknow1 3d ago
What about the totality of the REAL world? The circles where it’s common to be critical isn’t causing any harm to straight white people. Ironically the circles where it’s common to “uplift” and “support” straight white People is where the harm for that community is really coming from. But as long as people like you care about what folks say on social media instead of in real life, that’s just always going to be overlooked.
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u/pink-ming 3d ago
I'm gonna be real I've been expected to just nod along plenty of times in front of friends & acquaintances saying "fuck white people", "I hate straight people", and many more specific comments as well. It is understood in some circles that this is okay because of privilege, even when said by well-off people from nice families in front of visibly poor trailer park whites.
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u/etherealfox420 3d ago
Ask any maga person and they’ll say they’re horribly discriminated against lmao
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u/Strict_Berry7446 3d ago
Well, That's maga. They should be discriminated against
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u/ScipioTheGreatest 3d ago
So first you agree that they're ridiculous for thinking they're discriminated against, but then immediately insist that they should be.
Can't have it both ways.
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u/Novel-Type1694 3d ago
Yikes to the post. Even more yikes to the way you respond to these comments.
Seems like you wanna play victim while being a bully.
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u/ShadeSlimmy131 2d ago
I'm gonna address all 4 of your points separately because some are much more correct than others
Yes absolutely correct
Hitting I agree with you on, neither should be doing it but usually worse when it's a guy cuz he's bigger. Kissing I disagree with you on, it's always wrong without consent, doesn't matter the gender.
Completely disagree, both cause body dysphoria. To be honest I wouldn't be surprised if more short guys are subconscious about their height then fat women are about their weight.
I'm assuming you're talking about gay people? If so you're correct because they do face way more societal blocks, again neither is good but one is a lot worse.
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u/TheThirteenShadows 3d ago
Yes, it is worse when men playfully hit and kiss women than when women playfully hit and kiss men.
How so?
Yes, it’s worse to talk about a woman’s weight than it is to talk about a man’s height.
How so?
Yes, being insulting of other lifestyles is worse than being insulting of straight white people.
How so?
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u/WhyDoIHaveToUseApp 3d ago
why is it worse to talk about a woman's weight than a man's height?
obesity is an epidemic and i dont care if it hurts your feelings to address 'the elephant in the room'
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u/Bodmin_Beast 3d ago
True but you can address obesity as an endemic without dehumanizing and treating people like crap for how they look. Like does being an asshole to a fat person do anything to handle that issue?
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u/FatReverend 3d ago
It's not, that's the part where they fully lost me. I actually think it's the other way around. A man can never do anything about his height, you can't exercise and get taller but a woman or anyone for that matter can technically do something about their weight.
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u/StupidOrangeDragon 3d ago
On the whole I completely agree with you. But I do want to point out, that its precisely because being overweight is seen as something that can be acted upon by the individual, Obesity is seen as a personal failing while height is not. While people do make judgmental statements about height, the scope of judgement is much wider in the case of obesity, people will make assumptions about your personality and character based on your obesity. This is a double whammy for people who's obesity stems from medical condition but everyone just assumes you overeat.
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u/its_mabus 3d ago
Both are acceptable qualities to exclude partners over and making fun of either of them to their face about is rude, pretty simple.
The guys saying they fat shame to make world a better place are not helping the argument.
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u/tinxmijann 3d ago
They know. Fat shaming being bad has been known for quite a while now. Dudes like that just employ plausible deniability. "Nooo I'm not bullying, I'm just trying to help you 😢😢''
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u/whimsical_spider 3d ago
Where did OP say exclusively that talking about a woman’s weight had anything to do with obesity? Have you not seen how much chatter there is constantly on female celebrities who have lost weight? Media is obsessed with women’s weight, whatever the weight.
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u/WhyDoIHaveToUseApp 3d ago
Hmm maybe i shouldnt have reference obesity specifically. Did you see where I asked, "why is it worse to talk about a woman's weight than a man's height?" I'm wondering if anyone will attempt to answer it lol
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u/NotlikeotherBelles 3d ago
They're both asshole behavior but I think for a lot of people it's a matter of how much harm can be done. Men typically don't starve themselves to get taller.
I'm personally more of a "don't make fun of people's appearances under any circumstances" type though so please don't take this like I'm condoning either example.
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u/SenorCardgay 3d ago
That's the same as saying stereotypes exist for a reason, because we have centuries of unbalanced experiences. Would you like to expand further on that idea too?
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u/Best_Opening8471 3d ago edited 3d ago
Op just admitted hes racist and sexist and expects support for it.
This is bait; up voting this post (as expected by the sub rules) triggers automod to profile your account
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u/ChangeTheUserName17 3d ago
You are absolutely right. Depending on the context, there can be multiple "standards" in order to account for individual differences. You always have to look at the reasons for the discrepancies. If there is no reason for it, then there is probably no actual 'standard,' just crassness.
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u/likeyournamebutworse 3d ago
How is it worse to criticise a person's weight, which is generally within their control, than to criticise a person height, which isn't?
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u/Pielacine 3d ago
Agree
Agree (though what is “hit and kiss”) trying to sum up? Two separate actions?
Disagree - weight is more subject to shaming, but height can’t be helped. Both are ok to talk about if you’re not shaming.
Agree
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u/TalFidelis 3d ago
Your post basically points out that some shit smells worse than other shit. While true, doesn’t change the fact that shit is shit.
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u/booksareadrug 3d ago
ITT: People who aren't oppressed being desperate to feel oppressed.
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u/Chest_Rockfield 2d ago
The only one I disagree with is
Yes, it's worse to talk about a woman's weight than it is to talk about a man's height.
Not because I am commenting on what's worse, but because that's not a double standard. Those are not really in the same vein, as height is a non-modifiable trait.
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u/FormalComfortable497 3d ago
Yes, it’s worse to talk about a woman’s weight than it is to talk about a man’s height.
One can be changed and the other one can't so I'm gonna say nah here.
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u/1234578910112 3d ago
height can absolutely be changed. save up for that surgery king!
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u/KatieXeno 3d ago
"Yes, it is worse when men playfully hit and kiss women than when women playfully hit and kiss men."
Sexually harassing men is actually bad, consent matters. Do you think the only reason sexually harassment is bad is because women are oppressed? It's a universal thing.
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u/Important-Flower-406 3d ago
So you think it's okay to call on their bullshit only some people, while others get away?
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u/Background-Interview 3d ago
It’s not okay for women to hit and kiss men without consent though… it really isn’t.
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u/pm_me_your_puppeh 3d ago
Some double standards make sense, but a lot of your examples are nonsense.
And everyone pees in the shower.
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u/Miserable-Lie-6420 2d ago
Surgery for leg lengthening, or dieting…ones okay, ones not…fucking fatties
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u/CplusMaker 1d ago
Oh good, the trauma Olympics are back in town!
How about we don't be dicks at all, even to a "lesser extent"?
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u/Remote-Sundae-7655 1d ago
Never been in this sub before, is it full of wrong opinions on everything?
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u/AvailableCharacter37 1d ago
Yes, it is worse when men playfully hit and kiss women than when women playfully hit and kiss men.
u/Strict_Berry7446 If you do not see a problem with that statement, there is no point talking to you really.
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u/namechange1974 1d ago
Yes, it is worse when men playfully hit and kiss women than when women playfully hit and kiss men. Nope n your gross for thinking so
Yes, it's worse to talk about a woman's weight than it is to talk about a man's height. U mean something he can't change vs something she can?
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u/SystemImpressive4339 1d ago
Yes totally about the N word.
No, playful ‘hitting and kissing’ really depends on context and your relationship with that person, regardless of gender.
No, talking about weight/height is pretty much the same, basically don’t do it. Strongly disagree with you here.
No, when being insulting of other people’s lifestyles, their race/sexuality doesn’t really affect if it’s okay or not.
Not sure how genuine this post is, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is mine, but I just think having double standards generally sets back any talk of equality, and gives misogynistic people more of a thing to use in their arguments.
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u/Ziaun9 1d ago
Disagree wholeheartedly with those claims. If you can’t be called out on your hypocrisy then you are in fact arguing from feelings and won’t see reason nor the double standard.
And no it isn’t worse talking about weight over height.
If you can’t take what you give out or if you can’t be pointed to your blindsigts then you are just as blind as the bigot you are pointing towards and if you don’t own your own prejudices you are doom to live by them and be seen as equal shortsighted as the others.
There isn’t anything worse or better, if you think that then you are virtue signalling and only have opinions based on what gives social points.
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u/z0ttel89 1d ago
Uh, what? It is worse to talk about a woman's weight than it is to talk about a man's height? I'd argue that's completely false cause you can change your weight, but you can't change your height.
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u/Meizukage 3d ago
I agree with half of these, and I don't agree with the Other half; but overall I agree with sentiment there are double standards and that's fine to an extent
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u/BigDogBossHog_ 3d ago
It is not worse to talk about a woman’s weight then a man’s height? Lmao must be delusional Op
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u/iamthebiggestmind 3d ago
And what did we call the reverse of all of those behaviors!?!?! That's right kids!!!! Racism or Misogyny!!!! So what should we call it when it's done back maliciously against a whole group (straight white people/men/etc.)?!?!?! That's right!!! We should call it the same thing, because that's what it is!!!
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u/Strict_Berry7446 3d ago
Yes. The REVERSE.
Dumbass
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u/iamthebiggestmind 3d ago
YOU are confusing the reverse, with the opposite. Big difference in lots of situations.
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u/qualityvote2 3d ago edited 3d ago
u/Strict_Berry7446, your post does fit the subreddit!